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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

birthday cakes at birthday parties

112 replies

geriatricmom · 18/03/2014 17:53

am I BU to think that if you have a birthday party and everyone sings happy birthday around the cake for the child to blow out the candles , the cake is then shared out or wrapped up and put in party bags.
I have been to three childrens parties this year when the cake was then taken home intact for home consumption only, the guests received cupcakes or a slice of generic cake to take home, my dd age 5 was looking forward to a piece of the special cake and was a bit disappointed with a cupcake, although she didnt notice the generic cake was not the party cake on the other times. now not complaining because the parties were lovely and the parents had put a lot of effort into them, I was just wondering why bother with a birthday cake if its not to share. the birthdays were either on the birth day or the birthday had been on a weekday before the party, so they were not saving to have on the day coming up (in which case I totally understand) it seems to be the norm now to show a lovely cake but not cut it for your guests, is this the done thing now?

OP posts:
Daddypigsgusset · 18/03/2014 18:23

I am stealing this idea! More for the time factor than anything. I'll get two cakes the same, they'll never know

pictish · 18/03/2014 18:23

I did this at ds2's last birthday party.
I made a cake, and also a load of fairy cakes to the same recipe. Each child got an individual fairy cake to take home, and we kept the big cake.
I saw nothing wrong in doing this at all. The birthday cake belongs to the birthday child for his or her consumption. If you have 20 kids to a party, the cake is all but gone.

pictish · 18/03/2014 18:23

It's also a lot quicker, than trying to slice a cake and divvy it up fairly.

DoItTooJulia · 18/03/2014 18:29

Ah, you were a guest at the party I threw at the weekend, weren't you?

I sent home cupcakes. Easier all round. I'm shocked that people notice/care! Or think that their way is better!

QueenofKelsingra · 18/03/2014 18:30

I think if its a small cake with visible cupcakes like the one posted above then that makes perfect sense (and is very fashionable for adult birthdays and also wedding right now). I think if it is a big cake and no sign of cupcakes until they appear in the party bag then that is a little odd and obvious and precut sheet cake would be better.

kids birthdays are stressful enough, anything to relieve some of the 'on the day' pressure!

formerbabe · 18/03/2014 18:38

Last few parties my ds has been to there has been a 9inch shop bought cake (which is pretty small) and then this has to be cut up and shared between 40 kids! I always buy/make cakes big enough for parents/siblings to have a slice.

Patchouli · 18/03/2014 18:39

It's certainly a time saving thing.
Like some people do individual pre packed food boxes if a party is out somewhere.

kerala · 18/03/2014 18:40

All these perfect cakes! When I brought out dds cake one 7 year old commented " wow what an odd cake" to general assent and nodding. The cake has assumed monstrous proportions as I had panicked and made double so it was huge. I am rubbish at icing and not in the least artistic so voila an odd cake! At least they all got to dig in and eat it though as not the least bit precious about my cakes. In fact the quicker they are gone the better

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 18:41

IIRC my two were never that fussed about the squashed cake stuck to serviette in the party bag anyway. DS2 just used to eat the icing if that.

GoodnessIsThatTheTime · 18/03/2014 18:44

Oh I did fairy cakes alongside the big cake. I thought it was far nicer to have an individual cake (same cake and icing just made individually) than a cake wrapped in tissue paper!!

LithaR · 18/03/2014 18:44

Always have cut up the birthday cake and shared it out due to my pagan beliefs. Sharing the cake brings well wishes and good health to the birthday person.

To me its bad luck to not do so, so I think you are not being unreasonable.

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 18:50

I thought the candle blowing out was the most important bit.

NewtRipley · 18/03/2014 18:52

Littleprincess

It's lovely if you've made the cupcakes yourselves.

I just said a shame in a way because sharing the cake is quite a symbolic sociable thing to do.

Don't get me wrong though, I don't care that much Grin

CountessOfRule · 18/03/2014 18:54

You can get shiny napkins to wrap in. Otherwise a slip of greaseproof or a little sandwich bag (the opaque pastel ones are about 50 for £1 in the cheap shops) inside the napkin.

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 18:55

We always used Bacofoil Countess. Grin

wowfudge · 18/03/2014 18:55

Much nicer to share the cake than substitute other cake(s) IMO. You end up with loads left otherwise and I always think that one of things with arty novelty cakes is that they are works of art you eat!

I have to say though, what was wrong with saying 'bun' and why does everyone insist on calling them cupcakes, which is just the American name for bun? What used to be a party treat is blooming everywhere these days, loaded with icky sweet buttercream or a hefty layer of fondant. Bring back the fondant fancy I say!

VenusWineTrap · 18/03/2014 18:57

I make birthday cakes for friends & family, the one I did this week happened to be birthday party on Sunday followed by child's birthday/family party the following day. While it was suggested bychilds Mum that I do 2 cakes we agreed more sensible to do one for the party & take it home intact for the following day & have another cake cut up for partybags.Can see older childrenmaybe noticing & being a little disappointed but the 4 year olds at this one never noticed I don't think.

petalunicorn · 18/03/2014 18:59

I have done this - sometimes because I want to save the 'nice' cake for a family celebration, more often because there is not enough of the main cake to have a decent slice so 'pad' it out with iced Madeiras.

I have been at parties where the kids get generic slice/cupcake in bag and parents have been served the main cake.

MisForMumNotMaid · 18/03/2014 19:00

I forgot to cut the cake at DS2's party, it was a bit hectic, so the kids didn't even get a cupcake to take home. I realised just as the last child left.

We already had a big family cake for sharing and the three cake sized light sabre ultimately went in the bin. I was really annoyed with myself.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 18/03/2014 19:00

Ah ok NewtRipley I never really thought of the symbolism behind it. I just swapped out of convenience to be honest.

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 19:03

I have never thought so much about the subject of birthday cake. Confused Grin

lurkerspeaks · 18/03/2014 19:03

Don't come and live anywhere near me as I've noticed increasingly that party bags don't have cake in them at all!

The cake (often cupcakes for portioning reasons) is served after happy birthday and candle blowing out.

DoYonisHangLow · 18/03/2014 19:04

Ooooh I've just bough Dd1's birthday cakes today and we're doing this Blush

I've never held a party for her before, clearly I'm not up on my birthday ettiquette.

Thing is though, genuinely, what do you do if you have 30+ kids attending?! I can't don't bake so she's asked fr an uber tacky cake from ASDA with pink icing and a tiara on top Hmm. It's really small though so woud you have me buy a couple more the same to share out? As it is I've bought a few of those tray bake cakes with sweets (which look yummier IMO!) to pack up in party bags.

What do others do in that scenario? If it was just say 10 ish kids I'd definitely cut up the party cake but its too small for the whole group!

CountessOfRule · 18/03/2014 19:05

The difference between a cupcake and a fairy cake ... is about an inch of icing. Grin

A bun is what you call a fairy cake before it's iced. Or something else relatively austere/puritan like a currant bun or Bath bun.

::drools::

Sparklingbrook · 18/03/2014 19:06

What you are doing is perfect Do. Don't give it a thought. Cake is cake.