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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think no-one looks "wrong" being a certain clothes size?

122 replies

AroundTheGlobe · 03/02/2014 23:56

I'm excluding obvious ED from this by the way.

I'm around a size 12 and 5"6. I've started dieting and said to a friend that I'd bought a dress in a size 8 for inspiration. She then told me I would look wrong as an 8.

My sister who is the same height and has been a size 8 her entire life has never been told she "looks wrong"

Yes people that lose a lot of weight (or gain) will obviously look very different to their own norm but surely no-one looks wrong?

OP posts:
brooncoo · 04/02/2014 00:00

I'm your height and feel my 'best' about 9.5 stone - between a 10 and a 12. Went below 9stone just after having my baby and I looked awful. So I don't think I'd probably look good at all as an 8.

ViviPru · 04/02/2014 00:01

YANBU. People just feel threatened at the thought of change, especially when there is a touch of envy factored in. I'm exactly the same height/ size as you and I look great when I'm sz 8 (which I will be again this summer)

Just smile and nod if she says anything of this ilk again.

ToysRLuv · 04/02/2014 00:02

Not wrong, but I am 5" 7, and if I were a size 8, I would look very gaunt/ bony (have been size 8 when I was anorexic). I would not be able to keep that size for long without feeling miserable. I look and feel best as a size 12, so, IMO, whilst not "wrong", some sizes can be less than ideal for any individual.

BobaFetaCheese · 04/02/2014 00:03

I think it's down to bodyshape.

My MIL is a tall, broad, stocky woman who hovers around a size 18-20 (she's almost 6ft), she would look a bit odd if she were to get down to a 6-8 as it wouldn't suit her natural proportions.

Are you on the stocky size OP? Or was your friend trying to, clumsily, tell you that you look great as is?

thecatneuterer · 04/02/2014 00:10

YANBU. I think ViviPru has it perfectly.

AmericasTorturedBrow · 04/02/2014 00:11

Nah it's bollocks. I'm 5' 9" and looked chubby as a size 12, feel best size 8-10 because I have a slight frame

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/02/2014 00:11

Completely depends on shape. If you are lucky enough to be an hourglass you can carry more. I have a friend who is an apple with very thin arms and legs and has to carry a lot less weight or she looks round in the middle.

Sometimes it is people being jealous or worried about change, though.

deakymom · 04/02/2014 01:27

it just depends on the dress to how you would look i had a size 10 dress that looked awful on me too tight in the bottom i looked awful! yet my size 10 jeans were baggy

Joysmum · 04/02/2014 01:33

I did when I was a size 8 as I was trying to diet off my C section apron and thighs. I thought I looked good, until I was brave enough to have photos done.

You won't know until you get there and even then, like me, you might not be able to see what you actually look like by looking in the mirror.

I will second the idea that people will be used to seeing you bigger though. People may also feel threatened when you chose to be smaller than they are, that's when you can really tell who your friends are Wink

CouthyMow · 04/02/2014 01:55

I look gaunt in a size 10-12. A 14 makes me look just right, a 16 too large. I'm currently wearing size 16...

I'm only 5'5, so no clue why, but the last time I was a size 12, I had people actually stop me in the street and ask if I was ill! Shock

I have a VERY small 'weight window' to be in the clothes size in which I look 'just right'. 3lb too low, I look like skeletaur, 3lb too high, I look like the Michelin man...

God knows why!

CouthyMow · 04/02/2014 01:56

(Probably because I'm tits, legs and fuck all else, so even a couple of extra pounds on my middle shows badly, but equally so does a couple of pounds lost)

FlockOfTwats · 04/02/2014 02:05

I don't like the word wrong, But i certainly think some people 'suit' certain sizes better. I have a friend who is a size 16 and i honestly don't believe being smaller would suit her - She is a tall girl, large breasts and good broad shoulders. She is far from fat, but not slim either.

However, If she wanted to lose weight i would support her, not make comments like that.

DuckworthLewis · 04/02/2014 06:20

What vivipru said.

So many people are overweight these days, I think we've just lost sight of what's normal.

A person with a healthy BMI will look so much slimmer than the (size 16) average that they will appear 'thin'. This is quite likely to be commented on.

It's very worrying.

JapaneseMargaret · 04/02/2014 08:11

I'm 5'10" and bought a size 8 dress today. I'm usually a size 10, but in some shops I fit a vanity size 8.

I do not look "wrong". Sure, I am slim, but I am in no way skinny. I can well imagine someone my height legitimately fitting a size 8 and looking lovely.

I agree with ViviPru.

canweseethebunnies · 04/02/2014 08:16

I think it depends on your frame. I'm your height. I have a large frame and I'm a size 10-12. Last time I was I size 8 my periods had stopped and I looked ill!

You might look great, you might not.

areyoubeingserviced · 04/02/2014 08:17

Depends
I am usually a size 10-12
I am currently a size 8 and I know that I look awful. I am actively trying to gain weight
Weight loss does not suit everyone. Depends on your frame, body type etc

JapaneseMargaret · 04/02/2014 08:22

I am amazed that a modern size 8 would cause someone's periods to stop.

Not disbelieving, but amazed.

This size would have been standard in generations past, and they manged to reproduce. Women in famine-ridden countries (who are well below a modern size 8) also manage to reproduce.

Incredible how things affect our generation of Western women quite so differently.......

SparklyTwinkleGlitter · 04/02/2014 08:30

I'm a large frame - huge man size hands, big ankles (not remotely dainty) and size 8 feet yet I'm only 5'4.

When I was a size 8 I looked awful. Really gaunt and skinny and I couldn't stand it. I'm better as a 12 IMO.

MrsCaptainReynolds · 04/02/2014 08:37

Agree it depends on your frame. If you are a broadly built 5'6'' you can look rather scrawny at under 9 stone.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 04/02/2014 08:40

I don't know actually - I think Kelly Osborne looks weird now.

following · 04/02/2014 08:44

im 5`6 and size 12 , i would find it very hard getting to a size 10 and staying there , cannot imagine ever being a size 8, just thinking about it makes me hungry.

Heathcliff27 · 04/02/2014 08:50

I'm sure it depends on the individual body set up. I know that if I lose weight it always comes off my face and top half first so I can tend to look too thin because my face is thinner, sadly my bottom half takes forever to catch up.

I tend to think people look wrong due to style of clothes theyre squeezing into wearing rather than actual weight

McFox · 04/02/2014 08:52

I understand what she means. I looked terrible at 9 stone and I'm 5' 7". I went to a wedding in the smallest dress I've ever fitted in, all pleased with myself, and several people told me that I looked ill! Many years later I'm inclined to agree, being skinny doesn't suit me at all and I'd probably say that I look my best at about 11 1/2 stone.

canweseethebunnies · 04/02/2014 08:55

It's perhaps my body shape JapaneseMargaret. I have large ribs and a straight up and down waist, so to get my waist small enough to be a size 8 I have to be pretty thin. Also broad shoulders.

Sallystyle · 04/02/2014 08:59

I hate my stupid shape at times.

I am an apple and have very skinny legs and arms.

To stop my stomach looking big I obviously have to get my body fat right down but it always comes off my arms and legs first.

At my slimmest I was told I looked ill and like a little girl often.

When I was a size 12 my arms and legs looked great but I had too much stomach fat. A size 8- 10 resulted in a nice enough stomach but skinny limbs that resulted in a lot of the 'you look like a kid' comments.

So I can't really win. I am 5,2 and tiny built, very puny, so I need to keep my weight right down but it is a balancing act between having too skinny limbs for my liking or a fatter stomach. When I have a fatter stomach my clothes are then too loose around my legs and bum.