To think no-one looks "wrong" being a certain clothes size?

[AroundTheGlobe]

I'm excluding obvious ED from this by the way.

I'm around a size 12 and 5"6. I've started dieting and said to a friend that I'd bought a dress in a size 8 for inspiration. She then told me I would look wrong as an 8.

My sister who is the same height and has been a size 8 her entire life has never been told she "looks wrong"

Yes people that lose a lot of weight (or gain) will obviously look very different to their own norm but surely no-one looks wrong?

YANBU

I'm currently trying to lose weight to get to 'normal' BMI - I am currently just on the edge of overweight/obese, so have about 2.5-3st to lose to just edge into the normal section. Not to be at the bottom end of it, just right at the top - 11st or thereabouts.

Every time I mention how much I have to lose people ask if I'm sure, then tell me I'll look wrong or be too skinny. I'm a nigella-esque 14-16, so it won't hurt me to lose weight, and I know even at 11st I won't be skin and bone! It just really annoys me.

Funnily enough I've been wondering the same recently.
I've lost quite a bit of weight and have a little more until my goal. Once I get there I'll be lighter than I've ever been as an adult and Im wondering if i should stop early. I've also had comments from a few people (mainly acquaintances rather than close friends/family) that I'm looking a bit skinny.
I think because I've never seen my self with this shape before I'm unfamiliar with it and it looks weird. I reckon after a little while it will just become who I am and what (shape) I am and everyone will be used to it.
I'm 6ft so I guess whatever shape I am I catch the eye - flaws are magnified when they're stretched nearly 2m tall!

Sorry - YAnbu - in case it wasn't clear!

Body shape does count for a lot. I'm also 5'6" but I have tiny hands and feet and frame in general, so if I put on too much weight it really does hang like blubber on me - I do not get broader shoulders, or a larger version of my own bust, or rounded hips - just wobble in unflattering places. My ideal size (with a bit less flubber) is a 6; I'm currently an 8-10 depending on shop, and the most usual comment I hear is 'quite slim', which I would remain if I lost that last 6lbs or so of wobble, rather than turn skeletal or gaunt.

canwesee: My periods stopped at size 8, as well. I guess it's hard for some people to believe..

YANBU.

People have just forgotten what slim and healthy looks like.

I think it's down to bodyshape.

I agree, this is important. I'm average height (5'6") like you but have relatively small proportions, smallish feet, VERY small hands (DH calls them kiddy hands ) narrow shoulders and hips etc etc. So I tend to look more 'normal' (whatever that is) when I'm carrying less weight, and look a bit chubby in my current sz12 state. One of my BFs however is the same height but the total opposite proportionally, and looks extremely slim when she's at size 12...

Athelstane.... Hello twin. Apologies for just repeating exactly what you said and not adding anything new to the debate!

I don't think people look wrong in a particular size, but people may look wrong in the wrong clothes. You can be any size and still look fantastic if you dress appropriately. Ignore your friend...

I would, however advise that you wait until you lose the amount of weight you want to see what your new shape will be so you can buy well fitting clothes.

It also depends hugely on how much exercise you do and how much muscle you carry.

If you have very little muscle and are a size 8, you will weigh a lot less than someone of the same height who carries a lot of muscle and is the same measurements.

I think the point about women being slimmer in the past but still reproducing is valid here - because they would have been much fitter and stronger which would have allowed them to eat more and stay slim. Today's fashion for starving yourself down to a certain weight while sitting at a desk for ten hours a day produces a very different result in terms of health and wellbeing.

It's not you. It's them. Friends and family are used to seeing you look a certain way. (I wear glasses and I'm sure someone would say the same if I suddenly wore contacts.)
I couldn't be a size 8. (Big hips and shoulders!) I would certainly look wrong if I starved or stuffed myself. Eat healthily, exercise and be the weight you are!

I didn't sit at a desk when I was a size 8 - I exercised for 1.5 hours a day. There were plenty of "childless" women (albeit fir various reasons) in the olden days, as well, and I probably would have been one of them.

Not wrong, but probably not 'their best', if that makes sense?

One of my friends has a tiny, tiny frame. She's 5'2 and probably something like a size 6, at a guess. It suits her. Another friend is the same height, same frame, but a size 12, and it doesn't suit her as well.

The same can be said on the other side of the scale though - I'm 5'6, have very wide hips and ribs and large boobs, so nothing less than a sixteen is going to fit me unless I have surgery to push my bones together or something ridiculous like that. 14-16 looks good on me. Anything below that doesn't.

YANBU. I think its a standard reaction for people to say "oh you look skinny" when commenting on any noticeable weight loss. It also sounds like your friend may feel a bit worried that you will succeed! (I had an ex-friend who threw a drunken hissy fit at my hen party because I had lost so much weight I was thinner than her!)

So long as you are eating better and doing exercise to lose weight you will look great at whatever weight. Good luck x

how much exercise you do and how much muscle you carry

Very good point. When I get below 10st it gets REALLY hard to lose weight at the same rate because I calorie count and exercise, including strength training. But even though I'm not losing weight my shape continues to change....

As an hourglass I know I can get away with being heavier. My friends think I'm a 14, but im a 16-18. Id hate being 8-10, I love my boobs and curves. My friend who is an apple shape looks much bigger than me as a 14. Ideally I'd be a 12-14, but I enjoy my unhealthy lifestyle far too much.

I look my best at size 12-14 (pear shaped body, large frame, lucky me). I did go down to a 10-12, but I looked ill and it did look wrong on me.

It totally depends on body shape and frame/bone size. If you're big boned and stocky, a size 8 might look 'wrong'. If you're not, then you might look great as a size 8, and people are just struggling to imagine you that size as they've only known you as a size 12. All you can do is hit your goal and see how you look. Good luck and I hope you're very happy with the result

I'm 5'3" and suit being a size 6, around 8 stone. I have small breasts, wide hips and a round face so anything above 9st, size 8 I look chunky even though I would be a healthy BMI

I think I look pretty crap but can't do anything about it. I'm 5 ft 4 " and weigh 7.5 stone, wear size 6 clothes.

If I had to pick one adjective to describe my appearance it would be 'ridiculous' . Would love to put on another half stone or so. I have extremely skinny everything, wrists, legs, arms (oh god my arms are grim). Yes you can look bloody awful even if it is your natural size sadly.

I'm 5'6" and a size 8, I look healthy and have a very healthy appetite. I look "wrong" if I drop to a size 6. Just doesn't suit me. My periods have never stopped btw and follow the normal cycle.

My sis is bigger, taller and chunkier, normally a size 12, but she's gone down to a size 8 and she looks wrong. It just doesn't suit her frame. She looks healthier and even more stunning with some flesh.

So yeh, some people can look wrong at a weight that doesn't suit their frame.

I look awful too thin, I don't know what dress size that is though as they are all so different. Currently I measure 44, 35, 43 and look chunky , I am 5'5.
I think I looked my very best when I measured 36, 26, 36 but I was 22 so that won't ever happen again, my mum suffered with anorexia and this has had an effect on the way I veiw a healthy size. I certainly believe that you canbe too thin.
I am aiming for 38, 28, 38 if I can as I I imagine I would look ok then.

Clothes size is a pure red herring. Before I lost weight I called myself a size 16. All my clothes were size 16. When I first took all my measurements I should actually have been wearing a size 20!

I thank it depends on the style of the clothes, and where your excess weight is.

^YANBU. People just feel threatened at the thought of change, especially when there is a touch of envy factored in. I'm exactly the same height/ size as you and I look great when I'm size 8 (which I will be again this summer)

Just smile and nod if she says anything of this ilk again^

Completely agree.

I get what your friend means. I am 5ft 9 and weigh 10 and a half stone - I'm size 12 in most things and 10 in some. If I have ever been much under that weight (was once a stone less when I had been unwell) I can fit in an 8 but look too 'boney' and not particularly healthy IMO. And my tits disappear .