Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think no-one looks "wrong" being a certain clothes size?

122 replies

AroundTheGlobe · 03/02/2014 23:56

I'm excluding obvious ED from this by the way.

I'm around a size 12 and 5"6. I've started dieting and said to a friend that I'd bought a dress in a size 8 for inspiration. She then told me I would look wrong as an 8.

My sister who is the same height and has been a size 8 her entire life has never been told she "looks wrong"

Yes people that lose a lot of weight (or gain) will obviously look very different to their own norm but surely no-one looks wrong?

OP posts:
AngryFeet · 04/02/2014 11:13

SamU2 have you tried really building up your arm and leg muscles to balance you out?

chipshop · 04/02/2014 11:16

When I was at my slimmest I was a size 6-8. I thought I looked great but my friends and family told me I was too thin. Looking back at pictures I do look gaunt, my arms are like twigs. Size 8-10 is my ideal I'd say, I'm 5'8" with big bones. Whereas my friend is 5'2" and has just put on weight. She's now a size 8 and looks flabby round her middle! She's trying to get back down to a 6, she has really small bones so that's her size I think.

So I do think some people suit a certain clothes size whereas others don't. But it can also be a shock to see someone lose loads of weight cause you're used to them a certain way. It can look "wrong" until you get used to it!

QueenThora · 04/02/2014 11:17

Weeeell, OP's friend may have had motives for wanting to put her of losing weight, which is one thing.

But, I think people do suit different weights. Some people do look "wrong" very thin and look better a bit more curvaceous, while others can carry off being thin and willowy. I know people who look good at a weight that is probably officially overweight - my neighbour is stunning in a va-va-voom way and wears clothes that accentuate it - but I do not feel that I look right at all when I'm even slightly overweight. It just goes on my waist, bum and thighs and makes me look like I have a tiny head. OTOH I once lost a lot of weight from being ill and that looked awful too. I definitely have a weight that suits me.

MrsMarigold · 04/02/2014 12:16

I look best as a size 8, I'm 5' 5" and currently a 10 but I look chubby at the moment. If I go up to a 12 I look really fat especially in the face (think chins multiple) - I have a tiny frame. My MIL who is the same height only weighs 7st but actually has a bigger frame. I was just looking at the bracelet thread for people with tiny wrists mine are 12cms.

Fairylea · 04/02/2014 12:23

I'm 5 ft 7 and been everything between an 8 and a 16. I feel I look my best as a 12. I have big boobs and large hips and I enjoy being curvy. At a size 8 I looked more trendy I think as in the thin and fashionable crowd, but I feel sexier larger. But I do think it's a totally personal thing. Different people look very different at different sizes. Nothing is wrong as long as you're healthy.

LessMissAbs · 04/02/2014 12:25

YANBU I look awful anything bigger than a size 10 and best a size 8. I would look better still a size 6. I'm 5 feet 1 and if I put on weight, it goes equally on all over my body but I'm also muscular, so I look like a particularly stocky weightlifter! Mind you, I have a round fat face which never looks gaunt.

Sallystyle · 04/02/2014 13:11

AngryFeet.. I used to do a lot of weightlifting but it didn't make much of a difference. I used to live very heavy. I really need to get back into it as I used to love it. I guess it would take a long time to make much of a difference.

specialsubject · 04/02/2014 13:34

clothes sizing is utterly non standard.

worrying about labels in knickers should stop when you leave the playground.

persimmon · 04/02/2014 13:36

Isn't a bit moot to discuss sizes anyway as they vary so hugely (pardon the pun) from shop to shop? I have clothes ranging from 10 to 16 - they all fit.

notnowbernard · 04/02/2014 13:38

I'm 5'6 and would look really wrong as an 8, I think

I'm a 12. Would look my 'best' a 10 but if I lost enough to be an 8 I'd look gaunt

Also my shoulders and hips are too wide/broad to carry off a size 8. I'd look ridiculous

LizLemongrass · 04/02/2014 13:40

Not "wrong" but v thin..

ToysRLuv · 04/02/2014 13:43

Talking about clothes size is a bit of an inexact science, yes, but so would talking about weight or BMI. For example, I was within the range of "normal" when I was anorexic (EDNOS because I wasn't technically "underweight") and my periods stopped for over a year and I had to have them medically restarted.

"Normal", or size 8, or 9 st, or whatever. One size does not suit all.

ProfondoRosso · 04/02/2014 14:09

I guess it depends, in many ways, how people are used to seeing you.

I'm 5 ft 9 and a curvy 14 (big boobs and hips, definitely not athletic).

A few years ago, I lost a lot of weight (due to anxiety). Because I'm tall, I looked very thin and it really did not suit me. I looked very gaunt (not a nice image, but I look at pics from that time and see the imprisoned sister from Pet Sematary). If I had always had that shape, I (and others) would be used to it. But because I hadn't, it looked odd.

RalphRecklessCardew · 04/02/2014 14:32

5'6'' and size 12 will probably put you around the middle of the healthy BMI range. 5'6'' and size 8 would be bordering on underweight for most people. Of course, BMI's not everything, but I do slightly wonder whether it'll be worth the effort for you to lose weight.

frenchfancy · 04/02/2014 14:44

OP I think your friend may simply have been complementing the way you look now. I think if you are good at dressing for your size then people find it difficult to imagine you looking good at another size.

However I do think that some people can look wrong at certain sizes. I have one friend who is very fine boned, if she were to go up to a 14 or 16 she would look terrible, but I have another friend who looks fabulous at a 14-16 but would look terrible as an 8.

I am now a 10 (down from 16 last year) but I am debating with myself whether to lose a bit more. I have no doubt my friends would all tell me not to as I look great now.

smoothieooo · 04/02/2014 15:02

I'm 5'9" and a size 8-10 (after years of being 12-14). I don't think I look gaunt but would do if I lost any more weight (separated from ex-H 2 years ago and completely lost my appetite but now feel fine and eat what I like). I think I weigh around 9.5 stone.

I have been told by a few people that I look 'a bit skinny'

RawShark · 04/02/2014 15:39

smoothie it might just be they are worried about you. I am 5'10" and when I was 9.5 stone I was an undiagnosed diabetic, so that weight would look thin especially as they have known you at a higher weight for longer?sudden and or ongoing weight loss is a symptom of various things so they are probably trying to be nice in a thoughtless kind of way. IYSWIM.

Bramshott · 04/02/2014 16:08

I think you CAN have an ideal size, but if you've never been a size 8 then how can either you or your friend know whether it would suit you or not?? A size 8 is not teeny-tiny these days.

I obviously don't do slim well, because if I go under 8 stone people start to say "are you ill" not "you look fantastic"! I have had to accept that there is a particular weight which is healthy for me and helps me to look my best, but that's a process of trial and error, not just someone randomly pronouncing on a weight I have never been, if that makes sense!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/02/2014 16:48

I am anything between an 8 and a 14 depending on where I get my clothes :) I am five seven and nine stone 2 which is the weight I was when I got married 27 years ago. I have been bigger and smaller, but this weight and shape for me feels right.

Littleen · 04/02/2014 16:48

I actually think there is such a thing as looking "wrong" for your size. As an example, a good friend of mine lost quite a lot of weight (she wasn't overweight, just exercised a bit too much) - and she looked totally wrong, and it just didn't suit her. Nobody said this to her, as it really is nobodys business (she wasn't ill in any way) - but she decided also that it was not a flattering weight, and gained back a little bit. She didn't talk about it to anyone, but mentioned it in a conversation a while later. It was not a big deal. At no point has she had anything other than a normal BMI, but she looks much better with those extra 4-5 pounds on her.

Butterscotchcrumbles · 04/02/2014 17:15

I have also realised recently that weight has bugger all to do with how you look. I am 5'6 and 12 stone and a size 12.

My friend (same height) is a stone less than that. We measured each other, and I am actually smaller around the waist/bust/hips. Some of us are just naturally heavier!

happygirl87 · 04/02/2014 17:26

I am 5'5, and my ideal weight would be 10st3. That's a lot heavier than some of my similar height friends, but if I go to 10 st or lower I start to lose my boobs and look very pear shape. I have a big arse/hips (mixed race) and just look out of proportion. At that weight I'd be a 10 on top but 12-14 on bottom, whereas at 10'3-10'5 I'm a 12-14 all over. I suppose if I went even lower I'd eventually lose more from my bottom half, but it doesn't feel like "my" shape, IYSWIM?

My friend is 5'8 and has struggled with ED's. She has genuinely broad shoulders and also carries weight on her face, so to be skinny enough to have cheek bones (about 7st7) her collar bone and vertebrae are shockingly prominent.

TheRaniOfYawn · 04/02/2014 17:33

I think body shape makes a big difference. I am 5 foot 6 with a small frame but my hips don't go smaller than a 12. The top half of me will be a size 8 or even a size 6 but my arse will not fit into a size 10. I am most in proportion when I'm a size 14 all over but I am definitely plump at that size. I think I probably look best as a 12 on the bottom and a 10 on the top because that way I can sometimes get into a dress if it's cut right at the top and loose at the bottom and I wear a very padded bra.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 04/02/2014 17:55

It's interesting isn't it.
I am 5'6" and weigh 9st 2lb, I am happy with my weight.
I am a 12 on the top and a 10 on the bottom.

I couldn't wear a size 8- maybe on my bottom half if I lost 10lbs but I will always be a size 12 on the top as I have wide shoulders and big boobs., I would look skinny, but the size of my shoulder bones means I can't wear less than a size 12.

Depends how much muscle you have too- I weight train regularly so have quite a bit of muscle mass- I think that looks more attractive than an emaciated frame.

Pigsmummy · 04/02/2014 18:18

I would look terrible in size eight, even size 10 means jutting out pelvis and a collar bone so sharp that you would hurt yourself. I am just under 5ft10 and broad shoulders and ribs.