To think no-one looks "wrong" being a certain clothes size?

[AroundTheGlobe]

I'm excluding obvious ED from this by the way.

I'm around a size 12 and 5"6. I've started dieting and said to a friend that I'd bought a dress in a size 8 for inspiration. She then told me I would look wrong as an 8.

My sister who is the same height and has been a size 8 her entire life has never been told she "looks wrong"

Yes people that lose a lot of weight (or gain) will obviously look very different to their own norm but surely no-one looks wrong?

Dress size is not directly proportional to body mass index, which I would suggest is better marker of a healthy weight (although not perfect).

Thus, it is possible to be overweight per bmi, and still be size 8, or underweight per bmi and be a size 12.

In addition to variation in sizing clothes, i therefore I believe the concept of dress size to be somewhat redundant

Re: reproduction in developing countries. Yes, reproduction happens, but malnourishment contributes to higher rates of maternal and infant morbidity and mortality

Sorry, Vivi twin! . I posted and ran...

MrsMarigold, sigh for the bracelets and watches - my wrists are 13cm and I've just given up on either. Plus playing the piano over the years I can't bear anything on my fingers or wrists anyway.

This is not a I'd-rather-be-slim-than-have-curves - I already have curves. At currently 9 stone I'm 36-25-37, so hourglassy. But any extra weight goes into jowls, extra chins, inner thighs and arse (am I sounding attractive yet?) - definitely NOT on lovely, emphasised even curvier curves. I am curvy when slim, when I put weight on I'm merely droopy.

Wow, Athelstane, your proportions sound gorgeous!

Athelstane we're the same shape, I'm 5'4" & weigh 8st 10lb. If I put on weight it goes on my bottom mostly, which becomes wobbly Regular cycling keeps me toned up.

I'm a size 12, I suit it, I have an hourglass figure and even when under 9st struggled to get into a size 10 as my hips are wide.

A few years ago I had a terrible reaction to some prescribed antacids and list approx 1.5st, I was a size 8 on top and the loss of my normal chubby cheeks made my nose look enormous I just looked really gaunt and gawky.

I'm just over 5ft 10in and have never been able to get into a size 8. I haven't seen under 11st since i was about 13. Even if i was a skeleton i doubt you'd get a size 8 round my hips, ribs and very broad shoulders. So yes, an 8 would be very 'wrong' on me. I have bigger hands than my 6ft1 DH (i've never met anyone with fingers as long as mine) so my frame is large, but long and lean too.

I have a very narrow size window tho, anything under a 12 and i look unwell (a friend said once i looked like bicycle with a sheet thrown over it, when i was a size 10 - i really was all jutting bones and elbows) and anything over a 14-16 and i look like a massive lumbering bloke - i really don't carry weight well at all. I think if you are already tall and broad people really notice you, and every extra inch to an already big frame just seems to magnify.

I don't think everyone should aspire to be an 8 that's the thing, which it often seems like they do. To me size 8's have a naturally small frame, that's how I always thought of them growing up. I was quite happy to be and to think of myself as a 10 or 12 all through my late teens and twenties.

Agree entire with those above completely depends on body shape and on how much muscle you carry. I'm 5"10 and wear a size 8/10 and am not skinny at all, I just carry lots of muscle

I am 5 8 in - at size 8 my periods stopped, I couldn't sit on a hard backed chair without hip bone discomfort, my collar bone hurts when I put my sports bra on - there is no fat there - but I still had chubby thighs and big boobs, I'm a classic hourglass, so I didn't look skinny in clothes but my upper half looked scrawny naked.

Just looked up size 8 dress size - it has a bust measurement of 32 inches ...
My underbust chest measurement for a bra when I was skinny (20 yrs ago) was 38 inches ..no flab at all on my ribs (know this because I had no boobs left and had the humiliation being fitted for a bra in M&S and being told that they didn't do a bra in my size -it would have been something like a 42AA !) I was wearing size 10-12 skirts...I was told I looked too thin ...
So my rib cage (without bust) is a size 14-16 - I have a really broad back (and skinny legs, ankles, forearms and wrists) - if I tried to get into an 8 (which I obviously would never manage without having my rib cage crushed) I would look wrong - I could quite imagine my periods stopping ...
I don't think YABU -you might look great - but I would get an opinion from someone unbiased - like your GP or Nurse and not depend on dress sizes (or even BMIs etc)

MrsKoala I could have written your post, I totally identify with all that. I too am big and tall and could never physically be an 8. When I lost a ton of weight and looked dreadful I was a 10-12. 14 is perfect, I'm currently a generous 16 and feel like a rugby player. (Luckily it's medication-related and I'm confident I'll get back to a 14 this spring!)

I don't think people look 'wrong' at any size, but YABU to post this as clearly you do, just in the other direction than your friend. Also it's pretty weird to buy clothes that don't fit as 'inspiration'. If you want inspiration, try reading a good book or something. You are more than just a body.

I'm 5'9 and visibly overweight in a size 14
never been an 8 so I can't comment on that, but I have a small frame and small tits, and certainly don't look scrawny as a size 10.

OTOH I meet plenty of size 14s who don't have all the bulges and rolls I have. Generally they have more hourglass figures though - broader shoulders, bigger tits.

It weird isn't it how we are all different. Mrs Marigold, you sound very like me, I am between an 8 and a 10 depending on the shop, 28dd bust (size 8) but a 10 round the hips. Bramshott I am like you in being that under 8st has never worked or look right, better with a few more pounds but would be too big if went over 8 and a half. TBH after years have given up caring too much as whenever I try to modify what I eat it goes wrong and I know I couldn't maintain a very low weight.

I am 5' 5", weigh around 7st 12lb and am a size 6-8. I don't diet at all now
In my 20s I had an eating disorder and weighed 6 stone, I was smaller than a size. 6 and looked horrific.
Also in my 20s I went on the Pill and swelled up to a size 12, I was over 9 stone and I looked and felt bloated and uncomfortable.
I tend to think the size that suits you is the one you are when you eat well, move around a bit, don't drunk too much and feel happy in yourself.

Excuse typos am on iPhone and typing in bed

Despite what I'm about to say, I'm not a yoyo dieter - I've only lost and gained the weight twice in 20 years because this is going to sound like I up and down a lot...

I went down to a size 10 about 8 years ago, not sure what I weighed at that point but it coincided with my first marriage breaking up. I lived on a diet of wine and not much food. I looked horrendous. I look back at the photos and look so frail and horrific. So when I started losing weight recently I thought I'd look weird being that size or smaller, it obviously never suited me right. Well no, wrong. I've lost 6 stone through a decent regime and eat better now (and drink less) than I ever did. I am now an 8. I look better than I did then.

Ok, some people will look bad that small. And it is solely dependent on frame size and, for want of a better description, hanging. But as long as you lose sensibly and eat well then YANBU at all.

I don't think I look scrawny in my profile pictures.
Size 8

Gosh I hope it doesn't look wrong... I've got a small frame and at 6'0 generally hang out just under 10 stone and a size 8. I don't diet or exercise, it's just the way my body is!

fudgeface I can't understand why you said YABU to the OP? What has she said that bothers you? She's said she would like to be a size 8 and thinks she will probably look nice at that size. She hasn't said that everyone should be a size 8.

And yes, we are all more than just a body, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive to have the body we would like if we are so inclined does it? And if she wants to give herself some encouragement to do that by buying something in a smaller size, well that's up to her surely? And she can do that AND read a book if she so chooses - it's not either/or.

I am living in Japan and slim is the normal. When I got back to the uk on holiday I am surprised at how fat people are getting. This is partly to with me be exposed to much slimmer people and the uk getting fat. When I was in the states, in the mid west, people were carrying even more weight.

If I am toned and feeling good. 8/10 size is ok. The UK sizes are changing. I was a 10/12 high street but those sizes have changed.

TalkinPeace you look good, it is about muscle tone not just size for me.

here is food for thought on body image cross cultures.....
jezebel.com/japans-plus-sized-girl-band-chubbiness-is-not-actually-1515679881
( by the way I think this lot are not fat)

I am 5'2" and of East Asian descent, and if I were a size 8, I would look chubby. I wear size 4-6, and back in my native country, I am considered medium build. If I were a size 8-10, I would be wearing a size L (I am not exaggerating!).

lived in Asia too and agree they are are generally very slim which suits their body frame. They are also obsessed with diets and weight loss pills. They aren't all slim through it being natural and healthy living any more.

Agree too that when you come back to the UK it is a shock to see how big generally folk are getting. We are huge in comparison.

I really think I would look awful at a size 8 though.