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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To home ed my dd

212 replies

Mishmashfamily · 31/01/2014 20:16

After reading posts and posts about unhappy kids/parents at school I'm really considering it. Also I hate the fact that strangers that are apparently 'in charge' of our educational welfare can dictate when we take our children away, what they are taught ect....

I came out of the school system with nothing and had to learn every thing through college , taking courses. I think I could do a better job.

Would you do it?

OP posts:
WaffilyVersatile · 31/01/2014 20:17

If I had enough money (cus as far as I can tell its not a cheap option) and enough self belief coupled with the wisdom to realise how much I have to learn too.. yeah why not. I know a couple of people who do it and it has been the perfect decision for their family

persimmon · 31/01/2014 20:18

Personally, no. I think kids get a lot more from school than just the 'learning in lessons' bit.

LetZygonsbeZygons · 31/01/2014 20:18

Come over to the home ed site on MN, lots of support and advice there.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/home_ed

Original poster
Mishmashfamily · 31/01/2014 20:20

letz I'm going to step in to the light! Smile

OP posts:
KayHarker1 · 31/01/2014 20:20

I did it. It's worthwhile if you've got the enthusiasm for it. The HE section on MN is useful for links and support. :)

Annunziata · 31/01/2014 20:21

Is she at school yet? My DC have all loved school, and they've all thrived.

Don't put your fears onto your DC.

LetZygonsbeZygons · 31/01/2014 20:21

Best thing I ever did. suits me and Dc perfectly, although it doesn't suit everyone.

cardibach · 31/01/2014 20:23

It might be helpful if you knew it was etc. not ect...
I don't normally comment on grammar/spelling errors, but in this context I think it is worthwhile. You may not have the necessary knowledge/skills to teach your DC, and you don't even know yet whether you will have any problems with the school system. I'm a supporter of the right to home ed, by the way.

newmorning · 31/01/2014 20:23

"If I had enough money (cus as far as I can tell its not a cheap option). . ."

Does it cost money?

I know a couple without a single exam-pass between them who, with official consent, took their young DD out of school for Home Ed and, having thus conned the establishment, immediately whisked her off for a life of begging busking in France.

Onesie · 31/01/2014 20:24

No generally as my child is very happy in a great school but I know lots who do. I would consider it if my child was unhappy. It's great in terms of student lead learning and can be very social. I've also seen HE be a disaster for the odd child too though. So I don't believe everyone is a winner.

WaffilyVersatile · 31/01/2014 20:25

well yes, you will need to purchase supplies and reference books surely?! at the least?

KayHarker1 · 31/01/2014 20:27

not neccessarily, depends on what approach you use.

Tryharder · 31/01/2014 20:27

I don't home-ed but would be open minded to it. I would imagine you need a lot of patience, a good solid educational background yourself and the money to do it (I assume the parent doing the educating does not need to work and by default is a SAHP)

I would be dreadful at it and could not afford to but I would say go for it if you are different to me!

Original poster
Mishmashfamily · 31/01/2014 20:28

cardi what a naff post... You don't normally comment but you just did....

Didn't realise you had to be a qualified teacher to HE your own child.

OP posts:
ommmward · 31/01/2014 20:29

Come to the Home Ed section that zygons linked to. Most of us HEers tend to avoid the bunfights of AIBU :)

Original poster
Mishmashfamily · 31/01/2014 20:33

Dd has a while yet before entering the school system and I'm just bashing the idea about.

I'm in the lucky position to be a SAHM , dh has a good income. I would want to go down the NC route.

I'm just so jaded with the 'we know what's best approach' when actually education isn't a one hat fits all type.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mishmashfamily · 31/01/2014 20:34

omm I'm pick up my Wine and heading over there!

OP posts:
Patchouli · 31/01/2014 20:37

I'd love to HE.
But I realise that might not be what's actually best for my DC.
I loved being a SAHM when they were younger and would've loved for that to have continued (you do lose them a little when they start school). And tbh it wouldn't take much for me to pull them out and HE, but as it's turned out, they are thriving in school.
Maybe I'll feel differently again at secondary level though (I don't much fancy them going to secondary school).

pointythings · 31/01/2014 20:43

At the moment my DDs love school and are doing very well there.

But if Michael Gove is making me think of home educating as a serious option.

FiddleDiddleDiddle · 31/01/2014 20:49

No. Teachers are trained professionals. You are not. It's scarily arrogant to think that you can do as good a job with zero experience and zero qualifications in the field as a teacher who has years of experience and a qualification. You freely admit that you didn't even do well in school, and the many errors in your post do not make you look hugely literate tbh. The people 'in charge' make rules about taking children away, because they understand that time out of education does have a significant impact on progress, and that some families would compromise their children's education if there were not rules about sending them to school. Of course they have rules about what they learn - it's called a curriculum, and do you even have any idea what it contains? What curriculum would you follow then, that's better?

Plus children get a lot more from school than learning to read and write - it's about socialisation, experiences, independence, friendships, falling out of friendships, learning to follow rules, helping others, understanding the wide variety of people in society and their place in it, developing the confidence in their own abilities and initiative and so on. Home Edders will tell you that their kids still get socialised, but it's not the same at all.

I've seen this - many home educated kids end up in school after all, and the difference between them and the rest of the children is painfully obvious.

Just choose a good school.

Coldlightofday · 31/01/2014 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cardibach · 31/01/2014 21:06

Not a naff post, Mishmash. I don't normally comment because it is not normally relevant to the topic. You are asking whether you should home ed your child. Ignorance of basic grammar would suggest you should not. If you didn't get that from my post, we can add inability to infer to the list of reasons why you shouldn't. I was trying to point it out to you without being offensive, but if that's what you want/need...

cardibach · 31/01/2014 21:07

Oh, and you don't have to be a qualified teacher to home ed, but you don't have to be one to know basic grammar and spelling either. My post was about aptitude, not qualifications.

weirdthing · 31/01/2014 21:13

I am an ex-teacher who home eds. My children are very happy and academically well above average. We have a strong bond with our kids as we see them during the day - not just at night and first thing in the morning which can be stressful times. School is great for some kids and likewise can be hell for others. Similarly HE is not for everyone - in our case, however, it has been a very positive move and I would actively not want my children to go to school now after starting from a point of being a reluctant H Edder.

BTW, you do NOT need to be a teacher to be a good home educator - we have a French tutor and a maths tutor - eventually we will use a Latin and Biology tutor too. Everything else we cover ourselves. When it is sunny they are out playing, when it is cold and stormy we are cuddled in front of the fire reading. They get to choose. No one bullies them and they can see as much of their home ed friends as they choose. They go to plenty of home ed groups and get enough socialisation for their needs. Unlike school there is no begging for the toilet or being told when/what they can eat. All their questions get answered and lessons can go off plan as we investigate whatever catches their interest. They are always treated with dignity and respect.

Today my 8 year old was (of his own volition) reading a book of Seamus Heaney poetry (the earler poems which are easier to understand) and the 4 year old sat for his latest instalment of 'Stories from Dickens' (abridged). He begged for more when I said we needed to stop. School often kills the joy of learning. My children don't know that negative experience and have the attitude of much younger children in that learning new things is still a wonder and a joy. HE is brilliant!

lljkk · 31/01/2014 21:17

What does the child's other parent think of HE?

I think it's better to HE for positive reasons, not negative ones. A lot of your reasons are so very negative.
These are good reasons:
I can share more of my child's learning
I will have more confirmation of their learning
It fits my lifestyle
I know I can do a good job.
I will enjoy it
My child likes the idea
etc.

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