To home ed my dd

[Mishmashfamily]

After reading posts and posts about unhappy kids/parents at school I'm really considering it. Also I hate the fact that strangers that are apparently 'in charge' of our educational welfare can dictate when we take our children away, what they are taught ect....

I came out of the school system with nothing and had to learn every thing through college , taking courses. I think I could do a better job.

Would you do it?

For some kids school might be hellish but they're only there for 5 hours, 5 days a week, 39 weeks of the year.

Ah, well, best tell 'em to stop moaning and get on with it, then

mishmash: balls to the dimwits who think you only socialise, experience things and 'learn to follow rules' at school, what a f***g mental concept - see you in the home ed section!

Research showing that all home-educated children but ESPECIALLY those of under-educated parents, out-perform their school-educated peers.

This is the second time that I have been shown that article, it was in the paper more than 13 yrs ago and the tests were done by someone who describes herself on her website as 'EXPERT WITNESS SPECIALISING IN HOME-EDUCATION' so she is hardly likely as a witness for to come up with anything detrimental- and if you delve further, she didn't do controlled test she posted them to the parents to administer without any supervision and then post back!! It is the exact opposite of another 'expert' Alan Thomas.

'Let us start with Alan Thomas, a respected psychologist who has written key works on the subject of home education. In 1998 his book, "Educating Children at Home" was published. Based upon work with a hundred home educating families, he drew two important conclusions; both of which were enthusiastically received by home educators. Firstly, he suggested that although many parents began by teaching their children formally, most slipped into a more relaxed style, without lessons, timetables or conventional teaching. Secondly, he noticed that the children tended to be late in reading, but that when they did start reading, they rapidly caught up with school educated children. I think that most home educating parents would be inclined to agree with both propositions. In short, he believed that children taught informally often were late in reading, sometimes not doing so until eleven, twelve or even a little later.

Let us now look at Paula Rothermel's much quoted work, which contains the only real evidence that children home educated in the UK perform as well as those at school. At once, we see a problem. Rothermel comes to a completely different conclusion to Thomas. When she looks at the reading ability of young children, from five or six upwards, she finds that far from lagging behind the school children, they are in fact extraordinarily advanced for their age!
Clearly, both Thomas and Rothermel cannot be right about this. Home educated children cannot be both marvellously early readers and also remarkably late ones! I think that most home educators fall into the Thomas camp, believing that their children may learn to read late, but that it does not matter. '

I admit that I have a very small sample but they were late to read, their parents didn't think it mattered and, since one of them has just done literature at university it clearly didn't.

Myself i absolutely hated my school, every moment of it, however, just to imagine that my mother would have taught me instead, is horrific.

My ds1 does quite ok at his school. Not perfect, not too excited, but no major unhappiness. So i don't think of home ed yet, however, i'd certainly do if life situation changed.

We'll be home educating the dc from next Sept for 1 year (dc will be in year 3 and year 1).
We're travelling Europe for a year. We're buying a motor home and driving through/to as many European Countries as we can.

Obviously the only way to do this is to he for that time, but they will be going back to school so I'm intending on sticking fairly close to the national curriculum. I feel the experiences they'll get in Europe will be worth a year 'off' school.

In general though, he is not something I would do for the sale of it. I think children get a lot from school that he just can't provide. The social skills, group skills, independence, all the things that have already been mentioned.

For the sake of it.

Oh gosh..that would mean they would be at home all day, every day, driving me crazy!

Hell no...get them to school!

I think dd is already very influenced by me as much as is good for her: she respect me and if anything needs to grow away from me a little to find her own way and develop her own ideas that aren't an exact copy of mine.

I found that very difficult, having grown up in a rather reclusive, well educated and (let's face it) somewhat smug family: it has taken me the best part of 5 decades to really internalise that I don't have to think exactly as the rest of the family do, however lovely they are.

For that reason I believe it has done dc good to mix with more different adults at school and at the homes of a wide range of friends, so they have seen more of different takes on life.

All the parents I know who HE are really rather similar: well educated, interested in education, often rather artistic and creative. Lovely people- but as far as dc are concerned it would be all more of the same, just reinforcing the idea that the family way is the Right Way. (I suppose you wouldn't choose to HE if you weren't interested in education.)

I want dc to mix with people who think we are weird, as well as people who find we are very similar to themselves. And I want them to feel free to choose who they think are weird- us or other families, or to feel free to mix and match without any guilt.

Anyway- academic question for us: despite health problems that made school attendance difficult for us, dd was always adamant that she wanted to get back to a school environment as quickly as possible. She is somebody who thrives in large communities of lots of different people and would find meeting up with the same HE group three or four times a week quite inadequate for her social needs.

As for ds, he has always felt he was slightly different from the rest of the family: much as he loves us, school provides a breathing space where he feels he can be himself and meet up with people who are far more like him that we are. He would feel institutionalised if he had to spend all his time with us and our friends.

I think children get a lot from school that he just can't provide. The social skills, group skills, independence, all the things that have already been mentioned

My son gets all of that from HE, and so do most of the He'd children we know. Perhaps you believe it would be missing because you haven't yet looked into how you can provide those elements. I can assure you, there ARE opportunities out there to meet these needs without having to send your child to school.

I find he kids really great at socialising with everyone, not just a bunch of their own age group and having an 'us and them' attitude about the small bunch of adults they DO interact with.

I think that all the talk of 'institutionalised' is by people who are scared their children will grow up with different, or even opposing views to their own. When I looked at my new born baby I was fully aware they were their own person and not a blank sheet for me to try and mould. I had no idea whether they would be atheist, Christian, Buddhist, vegetarian, sporty, academic, lawyer or gardener etc etc etc .I never understand why it bothers people. They will do their own thing, regardless of parents.
Mine have very differing views, it all makes life more interesting and doesn't alter the relationship.
The thing that makes me chuckle at the moment is an opinion posted several times recently that a teacher is 'a random stranger'!!

I find he kids really great at socialising with everyone, not just a bunch of their own age group and having an 'us and them' attitude about the small bunch of adults they DO interact with.

I dare say you do, I find the few that I know the same but then I find the same with the ones who go to school. That is depending on the child, some are simply not very sociable-there is nothing wrong in that.
I can't say that I have come across 'them and us' attitudes.

er, no. I worry they would try to be jammed into the round hole mentioned above, I dont give a shit if my kids' views differ to my own, I'd love that, I want to encourage her to question everything and not just conform. I dont even have any particular views of my own, I'm not vegan, really right or left wing, not religious etc. What am I trying to make her think?

Whilst I would consider HEing DS if we felt the schooling available wasn't suitable for him etc (he's too young to call that one yet) I think the comparison to slavery is rather insensitive.

There are still real slaves in the world, trapped and forced to work long for long periods of time and having every aspect of their lives controlled by their owners. Even the lowest paid (legal) employee in the UK has the right to hand in their resignation and go to a new job, marry who they like, have children when they want, move home and a whole range of freedoms.

Similarly schoolchildren can be transferred between schools, pulled out entirely to be HEed, spend their free time how they like and so on with their parents' support. Just because they receive some of their education in a regimented environment does not make them slaves.

I also can't see why we get to 'HE children are this' and 'Schooled children are that' -it is ridiculous as 'Blonde children are this', dark haired children are that'. They are individuals within what ever system they are in. Some are extroverts some are introverts, some will happily join anything, some need a friend-the list is endless and has nothing whatever to do with where they are educated.
I wasn't referring to you, BigBoPeep-generally those who get all upset if a teacher mentions something that hasn't been sanctioned by mother. Some parents want to control their child's whole environment.

I find he kids really great at socialising with everyone, not just a bunch of their own age group and having an 'us and them' attitude about the small bunch of adults they DO interact with.

This is the one that really irritates me as if school children can only be friends with those born from Sept to August within a particular year and only meet a handful of adults. They can have exactly the same mix as any other child.

Tamer

I know its so sad for schooled children when you look at it like that.
Most of their life give or take a few weeks a year spent with exactly the same people, with little chance of really interacting socially.
I think that's a real negative aspect of school.

maparole that's not the point I was making.

they can have the same mix, but not from most schools.

Tamer

I believe children that schools are institutionalised, it has nothing to do with control. I have no more control over dds life than I did her older brothers who were schooled throughout.
However, since then I got educated, in fact I studied education and gained many points at masters level.
I have studied this shit and made my own mind up.

I don't think that's what Tamer was saying Morethan. If you read it again she was saying the opposite.

And how are HE children any different. In some cases they will spend all their time with a very small group of people - their family.

"Most of their life give or take a few weeks a year spent with exactly the same people, with little chance of really interacting socially.
I think that's a real negative aspect of school."
120 children in the year group who mix for lessons, 6 teachers in the year group who team teach at times so work with children beyond their own class, 2 HLTAs, 9 teaching assistants, 240 other children in reception and y1, plus all their staff at playtimes and lunchtimes, 9 midday supervisors, after school clubs run by outside providers/coaches, swimming teacher each week - not exactly limiting.
Again - not anti-HE, but don't make assumptions that HE means wider/better social interactions. Different, but to say a sweeping generalisation of "better" is wrong.

Littlebear

Irony.

My H.ed dd who is all I am prepared to speak about is hardly ever at home.
When she is she is taught by a mix of tutors, brothers me and dh. her gps come round also and educate too.
Do you not teach your children anything?
She attends the groups she has always attended run by the LEA and has started more since leaving school.
Our neighbours and friends regularly pop round with interesting resources and we are met with kindness and support wherever we go.
I think we probably see a little less of her since she has been H.ed than we did when she was at school, as now she has more freedom she seems to be at various activities most of the time.

Mishmas

I would like to wish you well, Good luck to you and hope to see you on the H.ed boards.
They are a lovely supportive bunch