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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT want my DD to get a tattoo?

246 replies

neiljames77 · 27/12/2013 16:24

She's 18 tomorrow and I have so far told her I don't want her to have one.
After tomorrow though, I have no say at all. Some of her friends have them and they look hideous and have even ruined their career prospects by having them.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/12/2013 16:25

You've said your bit, she'll do as she pleases. Suggest that she trains medically as a tattoo removal specialist, there is LOTS of work for them now.

MummySantaHoHoHo · 27/12/2013 16:26

nothing like you being totally anti to make her want 1 more

BuffyxSummers · 27/12/2013 16:27

As long as she has it in a place that can be covered, she won't need to worry about it affecting her career.

SantanaLopez · 27/12/2013 16:27

You'll just make her want one more!

SilverApples · 27/12/2013 16:27

Well, you can't stop her, but you can advise her to have it in a location that she can choose to cover.
What is she planning on doing as a career?

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 27/12/2013 16:28

You've done what you can. You're not unreasonable, but it's up to her now.

Employers are much more lenient with tattoos now, I'm a nurse and I have visible tattoos. It isn't the be all and end all.

MissRabbitsOtherJob · 27/12/2013 16:29

YANBU - many on here will violently disagree with me but tattoos aren't a good look on anyone, especially women. I know of a number of times people have been turned down for jobs where I work in the city for having tattoos.

Personal choice of course but I agree with you OP and I'd do exactly the same.

pepsi77 · 27/12/2013 16:30

My son was going to have one whether I let him or not so all I could do was threaten....... Erm I mean advise him not to have it somewhere that couldn't be covered up easily

SEmyarse · 27/12/2013 16:31

Do?

There's nothing she can do!!

Fairenuff · 27/12/2013 16:32

Gather a collection of old photographs, especially any 'awkward' phases she went through. Ask her if she would have liked to have that hairstyle/outfit/whatever for the rest of her life.

It's very fashionable right now to have tattoos - everyone is doing it. But fashions change and as long as she knows that whatever tattoo she gets, it will be with her forever, then she can go ahead.

I agree that there will be a thriving industry in tattoo removal in the future. Starting now (as they are starting to go out of fashion) and increasing over the next 5 years or so.

HerrenaHarridan · 27/12/2013 16:32

You don't have to WANT her to but you do have to butt out.

It's her body and that's all there is to it.

You can lecture her if you want but it will only drive her away

SilverApples · 27/12/2013 16:33

I like tattoos if they are well done, which tends to mean expensive.
Has she really thought about the design, where it's going and which artist she is going to use?
If she's going to have it for a long time, she needs to put thought into it.

hiddenhome · 27/12/2013 16:33

I personally like tattoos and it wouldn't worry me, but I would strongly advise her not to get one where it would be visible in public. Many people are prejudiced against them and it may affect her career chances. Who would be happy turning up to see that their bank manager, GP, solicitor or head teacher has a tattoo on their hand or neck? It's not gonna look so professional.

Stick to generally unseen areas and avoid hands, face and neck at all costs. Perhaps a nice one on her shoulder or back would be okay. I have one on my upper arm and it's never seen because I always wear sleeves anyway. Some of my colleagues have them on their hands and wrists and they look a bit common.

You can get some really beautiful designs now and they can look very artistic and inspiring.

I have recently nursed an older lady with MS and her ambition was to get a tattoo in the New Year and she was just looking at designs, so a lot of diverse people have them now and they're regarded as mainstream.

SomethingkindaOod · 27/12/2013 16:35

If she's determined get her on Pinterest to look at some of the really artistic professional stuff and point out how lovely XYZ would look on her back or somewhere she can cover it up.
YANBU to not want her to, my Mum doesn't want me to but I'm nearly 40 and will be getting one this year!

SundaySimmons · 27/12/2013 16:35

My daughter is 15 and wants a tattoo like this

i.imgur.com/YW4Jz.jpg

"But mum, it's a cat! You love cats?!".

Yes, I love all animals but I don't want them inked all over my body!

I don't know how old you are but I am late forties and a tattoo on a female was unheard of when I was a teenager. Each generation has different things the generations before simply do not understand or like and tattoos are very popular and now appear on people of all ages and all walks of life.

You can't stop your daughter having a tattoo, but you can suggest she has it done on a part of her body hidden by clothing. Also suggest that she pays to have the best. A small well drawn tattoo will stay looking as it should but a big badly drawn one will look hideous over time. You do get what you pay for.

I've never wanted one and my parents would be devastated if I did and I would never do anything that would upset them so. However, my daughter and yours generation do not appear to have the same respect!

DingDongUriGelleryOnHigh · 27/12/2013 16:35

"Especially women"?

AwfulMaureen · 27/12/2013 16:36

Yanbu...show her what they look like on old people

Explain that the design alters as skin sags...and they fade...and she's trusting someone else with her body....one slip and she'll look awful.

HappyMummyOfOne · 27/12/2013 16:37

I hate them too and would be gutted if DS had one, he's still at primary school but knows i hate smoking and tattoos and hopefully wont do either.

They do affect peoples judgment and job opportunities so perhaps find some samples of this on the internet to show her.

AwfulMaureen · 27/12/2013 16:37

And I LOVE tattoo art...the whole thing has fascinated me for years...I used to want to be an artist but was told that without tattoos I would not be taken seriously....I just can't do it...I'm too controlling and would be afraid it might look badly done.

Weeantwee · 27/12/2013 16:37

My DB got one recently, a half sleeve no less! My mum hates it but doesn't say anything because there is nothing she can do. It's his body and his money, even if he does still live under her roof. You could perhaps advice her to do plenty of research into what kind of design she wants and which studio to go to (my DB spent months finding the right artist) so that she hopefully won't make any rash decisions and regret it later.

MummySantaHoHoHo · 27/12/2013 16:37

Expensive yes, I paid over £600 for my eldests, always wanted a tattoo so I promised that for their 18th I would pay if they waited out the 4 years til their 18th.

My view is she was going to do it anyway, so I would prefer she had one she really wanted and that was good than from some crap local tattooist (sorry).

I am not fussed on tattoos but its not my body or my choice its hers.

I said no below wrists or ankles or above neckline.

Joysmum · 27/12/2013 16:37

fairenuff that's genius and exactly my own reasons for not having one. Wouldn't want to be lumbered with something for the rest of my life.

Original poster
neiljames77 · 27/12/2013 16:38

SilverApples, she is going into nursing so I don't think it's that much of an issue there. One of her friends had always wanted to be cabin crew but was told "no chance" because she's got a naff Cheryl Cole stylee one on her hand.

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 27/12/2013 16:39

yanbu because they are horrible (imo).

yabu because it's her life and body. tbh I think so many people have them now I think they would have to be pretty outlandish these days to affect your job prospects.

If I manage to get an appointment with my gp them having a hideous picture on their arm would be neither here nor there.

SundaySimmons · 27/12/2013 16:40

Yes dingdong, as the poster said, 'especially women'.