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AIBU?

To NOT want my DD to get a tattoo?

246 replies

neiljames77 · 27/12/2013 16:24

She's 18 tomorrow and I have so far told her I don't want her to have one.
After tomorrow though, I have no say at all. Some of her friends have them and they look hideous and have even ruined their career prospects by having them.

OP posts:

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shemademedoit · 30/12/2013 09:05

I wasn't thinking of reverse psychology as such, where she wouldn't think they were so cool if her mum was prepared to do the same thing, more helping her choose something hidden and tasteful. But OMG on a Little Mermaid tat..... Do you really think she'd do that to you? You definitely need to talk her out of getting a tatt if you think that's what she'd go for.

lljkk · 29/12/2013 16:53

On the teeth thing... it's one of the striking things about old photographs of people, from before 1930 especially. No smiles, no teeth to be seen.
No teeth on show because tended to be rotten!

StrainingWaistband · 29/12/2013 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairenuff · 29/12/2013 11:22

The most important fact for her to understand is that it is permanent.

Whatever she gets will become dated and whilst it might be personal to her and always be special (like a tatty old favourite teddy bear), she might not want it on display all the time.

She might like the choice of covering it up for certain occasions. I think your best option is to go with the approval of a tattoo, provided it can be easily covered, even in summer.

Hands, wrists, neck and face definitely a no-no. But what about feet and ankles. Does she like shoes? Because dressing up in evening wear with lovely heels or strappy shoes might be spoiled if the tat can be seen.

The best way to have any say in the matter might be to offer to pay if she goes down the more conservative route with her first tattoo? Gulp!

HoneyDragon · 29/12/2013 10:49

My mil had her teeth removed in her 20's too and she's only in her 60's

neiljames77 · 29/12/2013 10:47

shemademedoit, she's smart enough to know when I'm trying reverse psychology. She'd call my bluff and I'd end up with a big Tinkerbell or Little Mermaid on my back.

OP posts:

SirChenjin · 29/12/2013 10:43

Definitely common to have your teeth pulled when you were 21 - especially in the more deprived areas, and not even that long ago. I know someone who was a dentist in the 70s in a poor area, and she still had people coming to her for their 21st - or trying to, she refused and made herself quite unpopular. If you think that poor oral hygiene coupled with the associated pain was endemic, having your teeth pulled must have seemed a half decent alternative

Lovecat · 29/12/2013 10:01

Sowhatdowe I thought it was an SA thing, but have since discovered lots of people had it done in the UK too.

It would have been 1951. I believe they were still telling you that smoking was good for you then as well...

Fairylea · 29/12/2013 09:39

Wuxia- how will she be "limiting her job opportunities without a doubt"?! Have you even read the thread?

Tattoos can be covered for job interviews as long as they are not on hands or on the face or neck. No one would even know she had one!

Wuxiapian · 29/12/2013 09:10

She will limiting her job opportunities, without a doubt, but, unfortunately, if she's set upon spoiling her skin, there's nothing you can do.

ExcuseTypos · 29/12/2013 08:47

My GM also had all her teeth taken out when she was in her 20s. She then got the bus home on her own!

She obviously regretted it hugely as soon as she'd had it done.

shemademedoit · 29/12/2013 08:46

What about telling her it's a wonderful idea, and suggest going together so you can both get the same one...?

MadameLeBean · 29/12/2013 08:44

Ps the first tattoo was a "bribe" from my mum not to get my tongue pierced!! I wish she had let me do that instead at least you can take it out!

Visible tattoos at work look terrible IMO.

MadameLeBean · 29/12/2013 08:42

I have 3 tattoos. The first I got on lower back at 16 (I now hate it and want it removed), the second on my shoulder at 18 (it's okay but I still would rather it wasn't there so I could wear sleeveless tops without having to display it every time) and the third is a tiny thing on the inside of my wrist I got at 25 - the only one I would keep / am keeping when I can afford the laser removal. It is hidden under my watch at work.

HTH

LightastheBreeze · 29/12/2013 08:16

My GM had her teeth pulled when the NHS came in as you could get a lovely set of straight white false teeth, it was fashionable in those days and a lot did.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 29/12/2013 08:04

SoWhatDoWeDoNow - I think that it was not uncommon to have teeth pulled and replaced with false to avoid the pain and cost of future dentistry. It used to happen in Britain quite a lot I believe so I guess other countries did it as well.

Caitlin17 · 29/12/2013 04:36

Floozy that is an excellent answer to the "what will it look like when you're old" objection. Apart from my hair, which at considerable expense is now a much nicer colour than when I was 20, there's not a single part of me which looks anywhere near as good as it did 30 years ago.

SoWhatDoWeDoNow · 29/12/2013 03:44

and had also had all his teeth pulled out as a 21st birthday present as was the fashion back then

Whaaa??!!

Do you mean it was the fashion when your dad was 21, in which case was this in medieval times, or do you mean it was the fashion in South Africa?

Either way Whaaaa??!!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 29/12/2013 00:22

I like to show my individuality. I have no tattoos.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 29/12/2013 00:13

tattoos are a bit boring imo. Everyone's got 'em now! Meaningless - just feign indifference.

FloozeyLoozey · 29/12/2013 00:07

Some very hysterical responses. It's just skin. As for what I'll look like when I'm old, I'll be retired with saggy wrinkly skin, I'll just be glad to be I've and alive I woin't give a fuck what my tattoos look like. My looks are more of an issue now in my 30s when I'm still judged my society on my attractiveness and figure/weight. I highly doubt I'll give a fuck when I'm over 60.

NiceTabard · 28/12/2013 21:42

Not read whole thread.

Tattoos seem to really split people down the middle for/against.

If it were my DD I would be saying this:

It will be there for your whole life - through your twenties, 30's, when (if) you have kids, through to later lafe, retirement, elderly and you're pottering around. You need to be sure that you want it forever.

And from that, get it somewhere that is not visible generally. Yes tattoos are becoming more mainstream but still visible tattoos (hands, face, poss ankles) are going to go down BADLY in many job interviews. I have a friend who is heavily tattooed in a trad industry and even in the height of summer she has to wear long sleeves and tights/trousers to cover, and can't wear her hair up. That's just how it is, at the moment.

If you're going to do it you need to get something that is meaningful to you which isn't going to feel wanky when you're older. Or something you like the pattern of. Following positioning / pattern due to fashion (I like cheryl cole's) is not the way forward. Be the person other people copy, not a sheep.

And at the end, I wanted a tattoo since 16 but didn't get one til about 26. I am now much older than that and still happy with it. I don't pay it any mind though, it's just a part of me. I am working up the courage to get another, quite sad and rather large tattoo right now I don't regret it at all. Mostly they just become a part of what you look like, like a mole or a scar or something, just part of you. I don't know anyone who has ever wanted one removed (but lots who have lots).

There you go

Maybe show her the thread?

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Lovecat · 28/12/2013 21:23

Helen Mirren's tattoo looks like the one my Dad had done when he was 21 - he's been dead a few years now but was 79 when he went and by that time his looked identical - his was done drunkenly in South Africa before leaving for the UK and was his initials (not quite sure what purpose/meaning that one had, but hey ho, he was youngish, drunk and had also had all his teeth pulled out as a 21st birthday present as was the fashion back then so was probably not quite in his right mind anyway...).

I have nothing else to add to the debate but it was quite interesting to see HM with the same tat as my dad!

PresidentServalan · 28/12/2013 20:51

I have nine tattoos and I have a professional job - none of them are visible.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 28/12/2013 20:44

'Scarrification'? Pfftt... I had that thirty years ago from surgery, looks like a dancing seahorse if I squint. Nothing new under the sun.

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