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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To borrow earrings that were given to dd (1y)

90 replies

HairyPorter · 10/12/2013 08:12

She doesn't have pierced ears and I don't intend to pierce them till she's old enough to ask for it. But mil gave her a pair of diamond earrings as a baby gift (refashioned from a family piece of jewellery). It feels wrong to borrow the earrings but on the other hand it doesn't make sense for I to lie unused for the next decade or two! Opinions please!

OP posts:
Princessgenie · 10/12/2013 08:14

I think there's no harm. Unless they were to get lost. In which case you would feel awful and they would be irreplaceable.
As long as you think they fasten tightly then I would probably wear them!

flatmum · 10/12/2013 08:14

I think that's absolutely fine. Just don't wear them to a family event and don't lose them!

LifeofPo · 10/12/2013 08:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jacks365 · 10/12/2013 08:19

I couldn't wear them, it wouldn't be right.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 10/12/2013 08:21

I wouldn't but thats only because i would be scared of losing them.

DevonFolk · 10/12/2013 08:22

Tempting, but I really wouldn't. It would feel too wrong.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 10/12/2013 08:23

I think I'd be so worried about losing them that the occasion would be ruined anyway.

Keep them for your DD.

DefinitelyPeppa · 10/12/2013 08:24

Think it's wrong too, though I'd be wishing I could wear them too. They're made from a family heirloom so irreplaceable and given so your dd can enjoy them later (although would wait till she was an adult and responsible before she could wear them). I gave my (baby) godson a lovely pocket watch for his christening, obviously well aware he wouldn't be even thinking of wearing it until he's an adult, but I'd be privately a bit narked to find out his dad had been using it when he felt like it.

Ragwort · 10/12/2013 08:26

Of course it's fine, why on earth would people think it is 'wrong'? Confused.

Your DD may grow up to not like them or not want her ears pierced, I can't believe people would think it 'wrong'.

whereisshe · 10/12/2013 08:26

I think it's fine, jewellery doesn't wear out! Just make sure they are screw backs not push studs and they're impossible to lose.

OneMillionScovilles · 10/12/2013 08:41

What a lovely gift Smile Could you ask MIL how she'd feel about you borrowing them?

If you wouldn't even want to broach it, you probably have your answer.

Original poster
HairyPorter · 10/12/2013 08:42

Ooh seems to be a 50:50 split! They are screw backs and very firmly set so impossible to lose. They were fashioned from a piece of jewellery that had 7 diamonds Shock so she was given two pairs or earrings and a 3 stone necklace! I have no intention of letting her wear any of it till she is much older.

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 10/12/2013 08:43

I think the risk of losing them is too great. It's not like they're going to go off while DD waits to be old enough to have them.

bragmatic · 10/12/2013 08:44

I'd do it in a heartbeat. If I thought MIL wouldn't like it, then I wouldn't tell her.

Original poster
HairyPorter · 10/12/2013 08:45

I think onemillion has a point though. If it was something m parents had given for dd I wouldn't have second thought about borrowing it (as I know they wouldn't mind). However I suspect mil would mind! Hence my hesitation...

OP posts:
ZillionChocolate · 10/12/2013 08:46

Cross post.

I'm still not convinced its ok, although I suppose if you wear them to special events, it gives them a bit more history. EG a photo of you wearing them at DD's first Christmas might be nice.

rpitchfo · 10/12/2013 08:47

The risk far outweighs the reward

impatientlywaiting · 10/12/2013 08:52

I would wear them if I wanted too. Would be slightly scared that I would run into MIL when I was though.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 10/12/2013 08:56

Depends. Are u keeping for best occasions? Or just fancy a pair of earrings this morning?

If it's your birthday wear them. If it's tescos seriously don't.

LifeofPo · 10/12/2013 08:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Locketjuice · 10/12/2013 09:05

I wouldn't its a sentimental gift given to your DD not you to me it would feel like your intruding on the sentimental value if that makes sense (I have been awake since 4.30!)

WaitingForPeterWimsey · 10/12/2013 09:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZenNudist · 10/12/2013 09:17

No they are a lovely gift entrusted to you for safe keeping. Your MIL probably thinks she might not be around when your dd gets them. They are the kind if thing you give as a 21st birthday pressie or when she gets married (but that could be a long time away). I wouldn't trust them to an 18yo girl!

It's not guaranteed you won't lose them. It would be really selfish to wear them. If you think your mil would let you wear them that's a different matter!

Make sure you add them to your household insurance.

sparechange · 10/12/2013 09:24

I am baffled that anyone thinks it is wrong to wear them!

They are already 'second hand', so it isn't like the magic of them being worn for the first time will be taken away from DD.

And how often do people really lose earrings? Confused
I've had the same pair in my ears for the last 12 years, bar a couple of evenings out where I've worn something else.

If she had given you say, a lovely book, or jewellery box, would you lock them away or not let anyone other than DD read it?

Beeyump · 10/12/2013 09:28

I don't think you should wear them, because they are not yours. Simple.

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