To think I live opposite some really daft people

[LaurieFairyCake]

Aerated woman's just come to the door

"I'm on the phone to the police yeah, there's smoke coming from your house, you're alright, yeah"

Me: "er yes, (pointing) that's a chimney. When you light the stove smoke comes out"

Her: "yeah, but it's fire innit and I've called the police now"

Me: "ok. Fire produces smoke yes, but it's a stove and it's meant to"

Woman wanders off shaking head and speaking into phone to police "it's a stove, not fire"

Well ... she meant well.

I'm sure you'd be glad of the 'aerated woman' had your house actually been on fire....

Tis a little funny though!

She'd better not come and live here. Being a collection of various age rural cottages, we have a wide range of oil, coal and wood burning stoves and open fires. Each autum as it gets colder a wide variety of smoke appears out of chimneys. Much of it quite alarming as people get dusty sooty stoves fired up with damp tag ends of wood piles.

Either she meant well or she was very very bored and was hoping for some drama in her life. Could have been quite the story she had to tell. Saving your neighbours from burning to a crisp on a Sunday afternoon. Not everyday you get to say that.

The thing is, that it's a metal external flue completely visible from the street with smoke coming out above the roofline - it couldn't be anything else - it may be the worlds most deliberate looking smoke expelling device

She was very young

Aw, she meant well though :)

So, she can work a phone but she doesn't understand about chimneys? How very odd.

imd 'd be more worried that she'd called the police not the fire brigade!

bsc, you beat me to it!

Read thread, read another thread, then thought, "why on earth did she not call the Fire Brigade?" and popped back to point it out!

I know, that was the first thing dh said!

I said that there were many questions that sprang to mind to ask her but I thought it might make me look overly sarcastic

Just think yourself lucky she didn't call Ghostbusters.

Ha, yes. Suppose she meant well so pointing out the numerous flaws in her actions would be, well.......pointless!

Why did she have to call anyone if she was coming over anyway?

Oh god, this wumman is the gift that keeps on giving

Her banging on door: "I can smell wood now"

Me: "yes, it's a wood burning stove - actually it's multi fuel so I'm also burning coal but you can't smell that"

Her: "I don't like the smell, can you turn it off"

Me: "unfortunately not, it's a fire and it will go off naturally in the next 6-8 hours but I will be relighting it at some point as it keeps the house warm "

Her: sighing, eye rolling - 'can't you throw some water on it'

Me (utterly lost patience and can't be fucked to explain the many reasons why I won't be throwing water on it and will be having the stove lit ) - "no, I won't be doing that"

Her: (flouncing) "looks like I will have to call the police again"

Me(utterly bemused) : "ok"

She sounds fiery, did you shoot her down in flames LOL

She's calling the police because she doesn't like the smell of your woodburner?

What a stupid cow.

I've now got tears running down my face.

I guess if you have an external flue, these are new houses not built with fire places, but honestly what a idiot.

I'd be interested to know what she expects the police to do about you, perfectly legally, using a wood burner?

oh, please update us with what the police say!

Hilarious!

Or DO throw water on it which really will cause a smokey stink!

Silly woman!

Unreal!!!!!

No wonder the 999/ police etc phone people get pissed off.

Though a call like that I wonder if they're allowed put it on speaker and let everyone listen?

House is 160 years old but she lives opposite in some new flats

I didn't think people were made this dippy!