To think I live opposite some really daft people

[LaurieFairyCake]

Aerated woman's just come to the door

"I'm on the phone to the police yeah, there's smoke coming from your house, you're alright, yeah"

Me: "er yes, (pointing) that's a chimney. When you light the stove smoke comes out"

Her: "yeah, but it's fire innit and I've called the police now"

Me: "ok. Fire produces smoke yes, but it's a stove and it's meant to"

Woman wanders off shaking head and speaking into phone to police "it's a stove, not fire"

Please keep us updated.

On a serious note...

When I was a kid, about 10, I noticed really, really black smoke coming from a neighbour's chimney. Me and my friend bickered about it, but we spoke to my mother, who tried to see in the window, then she called the fire brigade while my dad and some neighbours broke the door down and pulled the old man out. He died in hospital.

But having said that, she does sound thicker than a yard of lard.

Wtaf?

I need to know what the police say if they even bother coming round.

A quiet Sunday, they might for a laugh!

Obviously that wasn't about your story Lisa just Lauries situation

Hilarious!

hope you are not in a smoke free zone.
maybe she is from one?

Aw bless her. She does not sound at all like my dd.

What

Laurie if this wasn't you, I'd be doubting the truth of this thread!! JFC just how thick are some people??????? I'm glad my pelvic floor is a good 'un.

I think 'Thicker than a yard of lard' is the best thing I've read on here this month!

I want to be there when she phones the police.

If she is very young she may well have only lived in houses with central heating and not have come across stoves/ open fires to heat houses.

Oh my word, if she's a recent arrival you are going to have lots of visits from here over the winter months.................

At least she will keep us entertained over the cold winter months

Thank god I'm moving house this week!

This will be my last fire, I've loads of wee burnables around hence the fire - it's now 26 degrees in here!

We do live in a smokeless zone but we have a special stove that's allowed - I was going to explain this to her but since the concept of fire and stove defeated her I thought I'd best not

I wonder what she thinks firemen actually do if it's possible to just turn off a fire.

Just wondering why you needed a fire today, its so hot outside.

You are in BIG trouble now, missy.

I guess if you've been brought up in a smokeless zone...

A police car has just pulled up in my street

Seriously, are they coming here?

OMG!!

I live in an ex-coal mining village. One day (several decades ago though) I noticed that someone's chimney seemed to be on fire.

I knocked politely and said as much. Was greeted huffily with 'yes, I know, that's how I clean my chimney' - apparently this method used to be a v common way of doing it.

Am old enough to have been brought up in South London with a coal fire - where the thing to do was to get a sweep (and have fond memories of watching for the brush to emerge from the chimney pot)

x-post Am agog!

You are going DOWN!