To think I live opposite some really daft people

[LaurieFairyCake]

Aerated woman's just come to the door

"I'm on the phone to the police yeah, there's smoke coming from your house, you're alright, yeah"

Me: "er yes, (pointing) that's a chimney. When you light the stove smoke comes out"

Her: "yeah, but it's fire innit and I've called the police now"

Me: "ok. Fire produces smoke yes, but it's a stove and it's meant to"

Woman wanders off shaking head and speaking into phone to police "it's a stove, not fire"

[FruOla]

Laurie, you must light another fire in your stove before you move .... please

[LilRedWG]

Any further neighbourly news?

[BehindLockNumberNine]

Thank you for the clicky photo

That is just brilliant, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when daft neighbour was explaining to the firemen what the problem was. And I would love to have heard their reply to her!!

I hope you bump into daft neighbour once more before you move out!

[WaitMonkey]

Is this actually true ? It's amazing. Best thread ever. This has to go in classics. Does your buyer look like she could be on here ? Please say yes.

[fryingpantoface]

Did she come back?

[marriedinwhiteisbackz]

Best thread for ages. You know that if you request an ambulance you can tell them it would be best to send a specialist MH/Psychiatric team don't you . She sounds more unwell than daft to me to be honest.

[FruOla]

[SockywockyWOOOOOdah]

Starfish, OP has some stuff to burn before moving house on Thursday.

[Retroformica]

Daft but helpful

[differentnameforthis]

Err yes, could you please make sure your buyers are on Mumsnet. In fact, this is imperative

Agreed. If they are not on MN, you must leave strict instructions that they inform us of any further madness created by this woman!

[oldnewmummy]

You beat me to it - I was just about to say can you ask the buyers to update us :)

[ScarerStratton]

Err yes, could you please make sure your buyers are on Mumsnet. In fact, this is imperative.

[Lj8893]

Hahaha this is brilliant!

Perhaps the police asked the fire brigade to go to hers to give her a lesson in fires?!

[ClaraOswald]

A bit dim? That's being overly polite, isn't it?

[Toadinthehole]

Please OP knock on her door and ask if she's OK.

[LegoCaltrops]

Hilarious. Another vote for classics.

[GemmaTeller]

wow

[BatwingsAndButterflies]

This is amazing.

[liquidstate]

Make sure you let the new people know what happened. And ask them to log on and keep us in the loop!

[AnaisHendricks]

I am absolutely gutted that you are moving away from this priceless woman.

But good luck with it

[Chippednailvarnish]

I have a vague recollection in the film "Gremlins 2" that there was a fire alarm with a verbal warning;
"Fire. Source of ancient heat and light, fire. This building is on fire".

Maybe you should send her a copy as an educational tool!

[Glittertwins]

Maybe I'll walk up the road on my way home tomorrow and look for wood burning metal flues coming out the chimney and an odd woman calling the police

[BillyBanter]

She's there til thursday. you can go spy on her. and call the police if you see smoke.