Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to this request from a friend?

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 10:16

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 24/07/2013 20:17

... nips of to get Wine, crisps, peanuts, popcorn mmmm nom-nom-nom

daisychain01 · 24/07/2013 20:17

off sorry - hand is shaking

londonrach · 24/07/2013 20:18

Have Page marked, chocolate next to me and waiting for update

FrankelInFoal · 24/07/2013 20:18

You tease OP!

daisychain01 · 24/07/2013 20:20

anyone for Salt and Balsamic Vinegar Kettle chips [bag rustles annoyingly like in the cinema]??

SchrodingersFanny · 24/07/2013 20:21

Place mailing :)

SchrodingersFanny · 24/07/2013 20:21

Or marking even!

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating · 24/07/2013 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

londonrach · 24/07/2013 20:24

Yes to kettle crisps. Have flake choc and low alcohol wine if you want any....come on op

forumdonkey · 24/07/2013 20:25

Give the DC's a bottle of pop a packet of monster munch in bed and let us know the update OP. Kids will be fine sorting themselves out and taking themselves to bed Wink

Areyoumadorisitme · 24/07/2013 20:25

Surely the lovely child should have had enough of a story by now?!? We are all waiting!!!!

Witt · 24/07/2013 20:25

probably d

scarletforya · 24/07/2013 20:26

Bet she's sent some sort of attempted guilt trip; if you were really my friend you would want to decorate my venue even if you're not invited Huffing because OP is so bitter about not being invited.

TidyDancer · 24/07/2013 20:26

Here it is:

"I'm really sorry, I thought we'd talked about this...

I couldn't invite everyone from the save the date list so I'm sorry you and [DP's name] can't come.

I'd still really appreciate your help with decorations etc. Is there any chance you can do it?

Please? :) :) :)

F"

That's it, names removed to protect the innocent!

OP posts:
SlimePrincess · 24/07/2013 20:26

Squeee! So excited!

Witt · 24/07/2013 20:27

Wow. Time to be blunt.

SlimePrincess · 24/07/2013 20:27

Please telll me you are going to tell her where to go?

Geordieminx · 24/07/2013 20:27

Oh just tell her to fuck off.

She has more front than Brighton and clearly isn't going to take the hint.

scarletforya · 24/07/2013 20:28
Shock

Shameless user! She doesn't even CARE that you called her out....! Shock

SHE DOESN'T CARE! BRAZEN COW!

KitNCaboodle · 24/07/2013 20:28

So she still doesn't see it?
I-T-N-E-E-D-S-S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G-O-U-T

scarletforya · 24/07/2013 20:29

Time for the 'glue bitch' response! Angry

Shenanagins · 24/07/2013 20:29

Time for the are you on glue response!

Lizzylou · 24/07/2013 20:30

Have watched this and not posted.
Now is the time for the
"Are you on fucking glue" comeback.
Seriously.

OHforDUCKScake · 24/07/2013 20:30
Shock

Exactly well do you know this friend? I mean, the closer you are the more of a bigger fanny she is being.

TidyDancer · 24/07/2013 20:30

I realise btw that this sounds totally unbelievable, even I didn't see this level of insanity coming. So I would just like to clarify that I have been around here for a few years now and am a genuine poster, not a hairy handed one. Pombears, poo pouffe, fake dead cat on wall etc!

So glad I didn't name change for this one!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.