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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to this request from a friend?

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 10:16

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 24/07/2013 15:44

I don't think it was a troll thread.

KoalaFace · 24/07/2013 15:52

I just totally binged on this thread. A-maaay-zing!

Some of the suggested replies are genius.

Okay I'm place marking. Ignore me...

Lioninthesun · 24/07/2013 15:53

Ah was it a more recent one then? This one was about 2 years ago but went on for months with more and more extravagant tales about the host making all of her friends cry, asking for Gucci items for her baby and making the OP travel hundreds of miles to attend, etc etc - was complete BS and v. weird tbh!
Sorry to poster of recent one!

SlightlyItchyBraStrap · 24/07/2013 16:00

Mother of the baby gift list was a troll? I completely missed that. Oh well!

Lioninthesun · 24/07/2013 16:02

No no! I got it wrong - I was talking about one from a while back and didn't realise there was a new one! I think the OP from the bogus one called the host Babyzilla, so not the same one I don't think.

clam · 24/07/2013 16:25

Nah, the recent one was the OP's friend who'd had a baby but her sister who lived in Australia had employed an event planner for the baby's Christening over here (one of her own business associates, so possibly some commission stuff going on too). This event planner could have walked straight out of "Father of the Bride." The gift list mainly consisted of designer gifts for the mother.
It all got cancelled, then the sister (the 'First Aunt' I believe she called herself????) got really arsey and started firing off emails to everyone and I lost track of what happened in the end.

RenterNomad · 24/07/2013 16:31

The parents of the First Aunt (and of the PND/ not-actually-babyzilla friend) had a go, and Sweet FA stropped off. Interesting suggestions on-thread that Sweet FA was a cokehead. OP's DP proposed, as she was magnifique in kicking the event planner's arae, and is too scary to have as an enemy!

YouTheCat · 24/07/2013 16:37

It was a beautiful happy ending. Grin

katydid02 · 24/07/2013 16:56

Not all of it no, 31 pages! eeek
lol, I'd still help out though. Just say doormat I like to be kind Grin

GoodMorningMoon · 24/07/2013 18:37

Erm...you should...uh...I'd tell her...ah...

Oh whatever. Place marked!

The balls on this bride CLEARLY aren't for decoration, that's for true.

mynameismskane · 24/07/2013 19:30

Curry eaters post on page 30 is brilloant please use!

mynameismskane · 24/07/2013 19:31

Brilliant even!

ZillionChocolate · 24/07/2013 19:35

Relieved to hear the mother of the baby gift list was genuine!

BMW6 · 24/07/2013 19:36

Grrr no update yet Angry

misspoirot · 24/07/2013 20:08

Pleeeease update Tidy, i'm emotionally invested now, there's no going back. I need answers!

TidyDancer · 24/07/2013 20:10

I'm here!

And I have a reply!

Just going to read a quick bedtime story and I'll be back to share!

OP posts:
SlangWhanger · 24/07/2013 20:11

You meany OP....... We want to know NOW Hmm Grin

Ifcatshadthumbs · 24/07/2013 20:13

You big tease OP!

TheVermiciousKnid · 24/07/2013 20:13

Argh! How cruel!

SauvignonBlanche · 24/07/2013 20:14

Can't wait!! Grin

Gigondas · 24/07/2013 20:15

Hope it's a quick story.

daisychain01 · 24/07/2013 20:15

Give the girl a break - at least we know we might get a wink of sleep tonight [gasps in antici.................pation]

Marlinspike · 24/07/2013 20:16

Make it a quick story...come on OP!

picnicbasketcase · 24/07/2013 20:16

Argh, come back! I demand to know what she said! Obviously in a very polite way, please and thank you very much in advance. Grin

98percentchocolate · 24/07/2013 20:16

Ooh you tease!

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