Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to this request from a friend?

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 10:16

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 24/07/2013 20:30

See, lots of like minds!

Inertia · 24/07/2013 20:30

Dear god, she's got some front!

KitNCaboodle · 24/07/2013 20:31

'Save the date list'. List? List? She's bonkers

SwedishHouseMat · 24/07/2013 20:31

Wow. There are no words.

TidyDancer · 24/07/2013 20:31

She is a very old friend. Primary school old.

OP posts:
AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating · 24/07/2013 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FryOneFatManic · 24/07/2013 20:32

She really doesn't get it.......... Shock

AKissIsNotAContract · 24/07/2013 20:33

Bloody hell, she's too stupid to be your friend

TheVermiciousKnid · 24/07/2013 20:33

Bloody hell, she really doesn't get it, does she.

WafflyVersatile · 24/07/2013 20:33

Submit a quote.

FrankelInFoal · 24/07/2013 20:33

It's time to be blunt I'm afraid. Make sure you only use words of one syllable so that she cannot misunderstand.

picnicbasketcase · 24/07/2013 20:33

Dear F

Apparently your forthcoming wedding has you preoccupied to the point where you have stopped understanding English. I am not helping you decorate your venue. I would rather lick a sweaty jockstrap.
Yours sincerely etc

GoodMorningMoon · 24/07/2013 20:33

Are you fucking kidding me?

"I thought we'd talked about this"

SMILEY FACES??

THAT BITCH! Angry

Now is when I would mention to her that what she's doing is hurtful. Because she clearly is a sociopath.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 24/07/2013 20:34

Oh. Em. Gee.

Ezio · 24/07/2013 20:34

This would be my reply,

Dear F (is that F for fuckweed)

I will not help with the decorations, since i only help friends.

From Tidy

PS, I'll send your groom a hard hat, hes gonna need it.

Its probably childish, fuck it.

FriskyHenderson · 24/07/2013 20:35

Definitely a few canapés short of a buffet Shock

forumdonkey · 24/07/2013 20:35

Well I'm glad I didn't put money on that reply Shock I really thought she was going to give you a last minute invite I never realised she'd have the gall to ask you to do it and confirm you STILL weren't invited!!

Send her some Brasso as suggested ^ - I wet myself at that Grin

scarletforya · 24/07/2013 20:36

Or just reply; No

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 24/07/2013 20:37

"Do you not see how catastrophically rude it is to send me a save the date, decide I am not good enough for an invitation, and then request my help so that all your real friends have a lovely time at the party?"

No. Don't send it. She deserves nothing.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 24/07/2013 20:37

good grief. honestly time to ask her to step back from this and see what shes asking. dont want you at my wedding but expect you to help me make it nice for those i saw fit to invite.

honestly and truly - shes lost the bloody plot here!

DownstairsMixUp · 24/07/2013 20:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating · 24/07/2013 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

YourHandInMyHand · 24/07/2013 20:40
Shock

Just read the whole thread and am amazed at her level of selfishness! She sends a save the date card, then doesn't invite you, but expect you to help decorate for all her other friends who were invited. Bloody hell! I bet your other home town friend who wasn't invited will get asked next!

MalcolmTuckersMum · 24/07/2013 20:40

Unbelievable! Are you going to reply OP?

PurplePidjin · 24/07/2013 20:41

OMG my fred got name-checked in a NotATroll proving list!

She's got a brassier neck than Big Ben Shock

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread