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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to say no to this request from a friend?

1001 replies

TidyDancer · 21/07/2013 10:16

An old friend is getting married in my home town next month. She has been talking about it non-stop since she got engaged last year and everyone's very happy for her. She sent out save the date cards and all was good.

Invitation time came around, and nothing arrived. I wouldn't normally have asked but since she had sent the save the date, I assumed DP and I were invited.

Turns out nope, we're not, and neither is another of our close friends (also from our hometown). She didn't offer up any explanation for it, other than to confirm that we weren't invited. Fine, her prerogative to invite whoever she likes to her wedding. I was a bit put out, I'll admit, since we'd had the save the date card, but oh well. Our other excluded friend was very upset and had a chat with the bride. During this conversation, friend was informed that the bride sent out the save the date cards knowing she wouldn't invite everyone and seemed to be under the impression that the cards were for the purpose of telling people about the wedding before the guest list had been finished. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's the case? About 20ish people are also not invited.

Fast forward to now, four weeks to the wedding, and the bride has emailed me. No mention at all of not being invited etc. However, she is now requesting my help with decorating the venue. Apparently most people are coming from out of town so she doesn't have much local help and doesn't think she will be able to find the time to do it herself. She also mentioned wanting to keep the decorations a surprise for the wedding guests so doesn't really want to ask for help from the few locals that are invited.

I'll accept not being invited, like I say it's up to her. We have been friends for a long time and it does hurt that I'm not invited but I'm not going to make a scene over it.

But AIBU to refuse her request for help? Does it look petty? My perspective maybe a bit skewed but I think she's being cheeky.

OP posts:
Kikibee · 22/07/2013 21:34

Ohhh, how exciting I have to mark my place, I am amazed by some people Shock

IDontDoIroning · 22/07/2013 21:35

Agree with Pictish.

SauvignonBlanche · 22/07/2013 21:37

You've replied?
This is the most exciting news of the day!

MortifiedAdams · 22/07/2013 21:39

This is maddness - she is clearly fucking mental!

Blatherskite · 22/07/2013 21:42

Bridezilla Baiting. Love it :)

kalidanger · 22/07/2013 21:42

Marking place again Wine

Bitch, you on glue? GrinGrin

CorrieDale · 22/07/2013 21:43

If her reply includes the words 'petty' or 'selfish' you absolutely have to send her the link to this thread. Bridezilla Bingo!

pictish · 22/07/2013 21:44

Bridezilla baiting! Grin

How long will we have to wait until she gets back??

JollyHolidayGiant · 22/07/2013 21:46

This is a wonderful thread.

marceline · 22/07/2013 21:48

Wow, marking my spot, I'm loving this thread. Go with TalkativeJim!

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 22/07/2013 21:48

Ooh. Marking place. Brilliant responseSmile but I have the feeling that she has sufficient cheek to answer something like: 'you know I can't invite you, much as I would like to, so I thought you would want to be part of it in this way!' That's my bet anyway.Grin

GoofyIsACow · 22/07/2013 21:48

Ha! 'Er oh, er, no you still arent invited... Well invited to adorn the secret location then leave...'

QOD · 22/07/2013 21:48

O m actual g

Unreal

TalkativeJim · 22/07/2013 21:49

Ooof!

ICutMyFootOnOccamsRazor · 22/07/2013 21:49

Laughing so hard - I hope, hope, hope this thread goes in Classics...

AncientCrone · 22/07/2013 21:50

It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure, but even more fun Grin

fuzzpig · 22/07/2013 21:51

I am :o at all these poems!

Moxiegirl · 22/07/2013 21:52

Can't wait for the reply! Grin

AppleYumYum · 22/07/2013 21:53

This thread is truly hilarious, you go TinyDancer!

pigletmania · 22/07/2013 21:55

Even if she did backtrack and issue you an invite I would not go out of pride, and that shedid not reAlly want you there in the first place. Yes send the poem

onedev · 22/07/2013 22:06

I am astounded at your friends nerve!! Can't wait to hear how she'll reply.

KitNCaboodle · 22/07/2013 22:07

I like that reply. Well done. Can't wait to see what she comes back with once she's come down from her glue sniffing high

CouncilOfLadies · 22/07/2013 22:11

Save the date?
To help decorate?
Because I?m your mate?
No need to deliberate
Get fucked, you hard-faced ingrate.

IDontDoIroning · 22/07/2013 22:12

How about

Decorate your halls
Well you've got some balls
You're out of luck
So off you fuck

waltermittymissus · 22/07/2013 22:12

Oh nooooo this is another Fronk The Event Planner thread, which means my RL will be on pause until the conclusion!

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