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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let this person drive my car.

148 replies

Sparklysilversequins · 06/07/2013 10:52

Will be quick as need quick answers please.

We are away camping. My dc, me and a friend. The friend is in their 30's, they had their licence removed for drink driving years ago and even though that is spent they've never renewed it. So no license, no insurance. I went for a shower, it's about a km away. When I got back the friend asked to take my car to the showers. I said no but would give them a lift. They got into a temper, said its private land (it is) so they are therefore allowed to drive on here. I still said no but again offered a lift.

They stormed off making a crack about the shower gel I had borrowed off them earlier Confused. When they returned they wouldn't look at or speak to me properly. I said if this continued I would pack up and go home as i know of old how long they can keep up a sulk. They was a short argument and then they took their stuff and left. So now I am on my own with two DC with ASD, who want to stay.

I've called and tried to make peace but they won't answer and won't reply to my messages.

So what'd the consensus please?

OP posts:
WMittens · 06/07/2013 10:57

No licence, no insurance, no maturity, no question.

BlameClaimProfit · 06/07/2013 10:57

I suspect the shower gel may be cheaper to repair if you use it while pissed so its not really the same.

worley · 06/07/2013 10:59

Wether it's private land or not.. Still no insurance covering them.. You said no and offered them a lift!! are they 3 or 30!! Don't get their own way so going..
If this is a male "friend"would be a red flag for me...

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 06/07/2013 11:00

Thanks because I am sitting here feeling utterly crap and worried about staying camping alone Sad. Don't want my kids to suffer of this pathetic row though.

OP posts:
WMittens · 06/07/2013 11:00

Also, private land is not an exemption:

"The definition of a road in England and Wales is ?any highway and any other road to which the public has access and includes bridges over which a road passes? (RTA 1988 sect 192(1)).

...

It is important to note that references to ?road? therefore generally include footpaths, bridleways and cycle tracks, and many roadways and driveways on private land (including many car parks)."

Earthworms · 06/07/2013 11:00

No licence, no insurance. No chance. Private land or not.

Your compromise of a lift was entirely reasonable.

onedev · 06/07/2013 11:00

YANBU - awful attitude from your friend.

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 06/07/2013 11:01

Yep it's a male "friend" but no real romantic involvement.

OP posts:
StickEmUpPunk · 06/07/2013 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WeAreSix · 06/07/2013 11:02

YANBU. Private land or not, I would not allow them to drive my car.

ParadiseChick · 06/07/2013 11:02

Leave them to it and enjoy your day. I had this issue with a neighbour I was friends with. Same scenario, last to drink driving but spent and never renewed. She asked to borrow my car a few times and I pussy footed around it the first couple of times then explained it to her. Think she was embarrassed at being confronted with the consequences of her actions.

In saying that I have refused to let people with licenses and those own insurance drive my car. 3rd party is all very good but what about my car if anything happens?

ThereGoesTheYear · 06/07/2013 11:03

They're acting like a toddler. How rude of them to storm off. They asked a favour. You don't have I lend your car to anyone, regardless of license. And the fact that you offered them a lift means that this is about their ego rather than annoyance at inconvenience.

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 06/07/2013 11:05

Well they've gone and not replying to messages or calls. Maybe we will head back home tonight, we are pitched in the middle of woods and I am a bit scared about staying at night alone. I hate feeling like this though I am usually so gung ho.

OP posts:
FirstStopCafe · 06/07/2013 11:06

YANBU. Hope you manage to have a nice holiday

quoteunquote · 06/07/2013 11:07

They are being twonks, and it not fair, very mean.

Go and have a lovely walk with the children, take some food and go and look at the view, you will find your own pace.

You just hit nerve, and they are not mature enough to just agree that they need to get their shit together.

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 06/07/2013 11:12

Thanks. Going to try to stay, kids are loving it so would be a shame to cut it short.

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 06/07/2013 11:13

please dont go, dont let him ruin your hoilday.

you are just as safe with out him there as y ou where with him there.
i bet if you stayed your feel impowered to.

he was in the wrong, i imagine he knows it to. he fucked up majorly when he drove drunk and this is just a reminder of that.

you have done nothing wrong. so please dont let it ruin it for you.

hermioneweasley · 06/07/2013 11:18

What wondering soul said.

This person is not your friend.

WeAreEternal · 06/07/2013 11:18

No licence, no insurance, no maturity, no question.

^this 100%.

Please don't give up and go home because of that stupid man child.
You and your DCs can have a wonderful time on your own.

If you don't feel comfortable with where you are maybe pack up and move to another area of the site to camp.

LindyHemming · 06/07/2013 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Sparklysilversequins · 06/07/2013 11:26

He's an ex who I was with long term (over 10 years) and we were talking about trying again. Obviously not now.

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 06/07/2013 11:29

Indeed, OP, obviously not. He's a selfish drink driving immature twat. Can't see how he would enhance your life!

YouTheCat · 06/07/2013 11:30

Ex for a good reason then. What a knobend.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

Jan49 · 06/07/2013 11:31

YWNBU

Could you move to somewhere nearer to the shower block where there are lots of other people camped?

ChablisLover · 06/07/2013 11:34

Yanbu

No licence no insurance no way!

Even on 'private' land.

If the car is damaged who is paying for repairs as your insurance company won't cough up.

Yes it's only 1 km away but anything could happen and tell him not to be so feckin lazy and walk to the showers - exercise will do him good.

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