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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a person who "doesn't like having a photo taken" is a PITA?

147 replies

gail734 · 28/03/2013 18:21

My MIL is a little ... self-absorbed, shall we say. One belief that she holds is that she looks better in a photo if she's sort of caught unawares, rather than just facing the sodding camera and giving it "cheese" like everyone else. So she now tries to create this effect every time, waiting until a split second before the picture is taken before turning her head and staring into the middle distance. I first noticed it when she spoiled all of the informal photos at DH's graduation, standing beside him doing what is basically a catalogue pose. I knew she'd do it in my wedding photos, so I told the photographer to watch her like a hawk. Judging by the number of times he shouted, "Mother of the Groom, look straight at the camera, please!" she was planning to do it in every photo. She's now doing it with my 9 month old DD, her only grandchild. I think that in years to come, my DD may like to have a photo of herself with her grandmother, but I've now given up. I've always thought that people who do the big flappy hands, going, "Noo! Nooo! Don't! Don't take my photo!" make a tremendous show of themselves, but this is something else. It's not all about YOU, you old bat. And you don't look better staring off into the distance. You look like a simpleton.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 28/03/2013 18:25

Well, stop taking photos of her! I hate people always wanting to take photos all the time

Tee2072 · 28/03/2013 18:26

If she wants to look like a simpleton, let her. What's the problem?

Or just don't take her picture.

Is this really an issue?

LeChatRouge · 28/03/2013 18:28

Can't you wait til she's not looking and then call her name. She looks at you, you click, simple.

Or say firmly, right, a few for you where you are staring at the wall and a few for me where you are looking at the camera - yes?

moominmarvellous · 28/03/2013 18:28

Ha ha! Simpleton. I love that word.

We have similar with one of my nieces. We just want one picture of all the grandchildren together, but she always creates. She is however happy to post a gazillion pouty and posey 'selfies' on FB, Instagram etc.

anonymosity · 28/03/2013 18:28

I hate it when people ask me to pose for a sodding photo. And I hate it when they take random shots, without asking first. I find it a) cheesy to the extreme and b) invasive.
But that's just me...

nars · 28/03/2013 18:28

i really wish you could post one on here, i bet they're really funny photos!

i would just carry on regardless taking photos

EarlyInTheMorning · 28/03/2013 18:29

Photos of people posing are not very nice
Candid photos are better
I'm with your MIL on this one
You don't sound like you like her very much
She sounds like she's lost confidence in the way she looks
YABU
Be kind

LadyKinbote · 28/03/2013 18:29

There's a big difference between people who fake shyness in front of the camera for attention and those who genuinely have low self-esteem. I don't take photos of either for entirely different reasons!

Glittertwins · 28/03/2013 18:30

I hate having my photo taken and will avoid it as much as possible.

iZombie · 28/03/2013 18:30

I hate having my photo taken, but I grin (rictus at times I must confess) and bear it for the sake of being a relatively normal person.

blueraincoat · 28/03/2013 18:31

I think the person constantly shoving the camera in my face wanting to capture every moment of an event is a PITA.

diddl · 28/03/2013 18:31

I also hate having my photo taken.

If with a GC, would probably prefer to be looking at the GC than the camera.

She does sound annoying.

But then some people seem to tit about so much when taking pics also.

Just take the bloody thing!

ClippedPhoenix · 28/03/2013 18:31

I don't like my photo being taken either. Leave me out of it and get the camera away from my face. I'd have told you that an all.

moominmarvellous · 28/03/2013 18:32

I'm guessing the new baby has lead to more pics of the MIL than usual?

HildaOgden · 28/03/2013 18:32

Accept her for how she is.You say she's self absorbed,she might say she's self conscious/insecure.

When she is dead,you (well,dp and dd) might well look back at those photos with fondness...'ah look,there's Nana doing her pose'.

I think you sound way too agitated .

ScentedNappyHag · 28/03/2013 18:32

I'm with your MIL on this one, I am the least photogenic person in the world and hate posing for photos.

NorksAreMessy · 28/03/2013 18:34

I hate having my photo taken, really hate it.
But I am straightforward about it and say 'please don't take my picture'. Easy

Schmoozer · 28/03/2013 18:34

I agree with hilaogden.

gail734 · 28/03/2013 18:35

I don't especially like having photos taken - I'm not Kate Moss. But I don't get into group photos and sabotage them! I don't say, "Oh a family shot? Well it'll have to be the family minus one, because I don't do photos!"

OP posts:
SoupDreggon · 28/03/2013 18:35

Personally I think that people who insist on taking photos are a PITA [shrug]

Bartlebee · 28/03/2013 18:36

Whilst I think it can be an intrusion to insist on photos as some really loathe it, some people can be very precious.

My sil hates being photographed to the extent she will put her hand up to the lens or turn away (my dh is fond of a photo opportunity). As a result, every single photo of her is bloody awful. It's a vicious circle.

RedToothBrush · 28/03/2013 18:37

YABU.

If people don't like their photo being taken, respect the fact they are self conscious and not as confident as you.

If someone deals with it in a particular way, then its fair enough imho.

I think you just don't like your MIL tbh.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 28/03/2013 18:37

I don't see why you care so much either, let her do whatever she wants.

I see no difference between the level of fuss you are making and the level of fuss she is making, you both sound overly bothered about photos. So YABU.

NinaNannar · 28/03/2013 18:38

add to that fucking, SHY people

they get my goat

NinaNannar · 28/03/2013 18:38

lol at her turning and smiling Gail

post a pic

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