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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a person who "doesn't like having a photo taken" is a PITA?

147 replies

gail734 · 28/03/2013 18:21

My MIL is a little ... self-absorbed, shall we say. One belief that she holds is that she looks better in a photo if she's sort of caught unawares, rather than just facing the sodding camera and giving it "cheese" like everyone else. So she now tries to create this effect every time, waiting until a split second before the picture is taken before turning her head and staring into the middle distance. I first noticed it when she spoiled all of the informal photos at DH's graduation, standing beside him doing what is basically a catalogue pose. I knew she'd do it in my wedding photos, so I told the photographer to watch her like a hawk. Judging by the number of times he shouted, "Mother of the Groom, look straight at the camera, please!" she was planning to do it in every photo. She's now doing it with my 9 month old DD, her only grandchild. I think that in years to come, my DD may like to have a photo of herself with her grandmother, but I've now given up. I've always thought that people who do the big flappy hands, going, "Noo! Nooo! Don't! Don't take my photo!" make a tremendous show of themselves, but this is something else. It's not all about YOU, you old bat. And you don't look better staring off into the distance. You look like a simpleton.

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 28/03/2013 19:30

fair enough OP, sorryBlushBlush

Emilythornesbff · 28/03/2013 19:33

Op you sound a bit scary.

newgirl · 28/03/2013 19:36

I think weddings, babies, family things it should be quick and it's good manners to get your pic taken if the key people would like it. Completely different if horrid pics to go on Facebook or wherever but within a family group surely entirely normal.

Calling people camera bullies is quite extreme!

gail734 · 28/03/2013 19:37

Emily, I can't be that scary or my MIL would Do the BLAND SMILE!!!

OP posts:
plaingirly · 28/03/2013 19:51

I absolutely HATE having my photograph taken - not because I want to pose perfectly but because I hate how I look.

HildaOgden · 28/03/2013 19:59

I really think you're over-reacting....it's one thing that irritates you about your mother-in-law.Her own particlular quirk.

I'm sure there is at least one thing about you that she would like to change.

Live and let live,nobody is perfect.

ScarletLady02 · 28/03/2013 20:06

I photograph TERRIBLY! I absolutely hate having to smile in photos because I look like a twat, and I HATE having my picture taken. The only photos I ever like of myself are ones I've taken, and that's because I take about a thousand and then pick the best one to show (usually to show off my new hair creations).

Sorry if my insecurity and shyness makes me a PITA...ah well Grin

cocolepew · 28/03/2013 20:08

Genuinely loling at 70's knitting pattern pose.
My brother and I don't live near each other but when he comes to stay with my mum and we go out places, we always do catalogue poses. Mostly pointing into the distance looking puzzled/surprised/scared/intrigued*
*delete as appropriate.

TheBigJessie · 28/03/2013 20:11

tilt your chin down a little and look up.

Nooooo! That gives you a double chin!

BrunellaPommelhorse · 28/03/2013 20:14

I want to see the "ooh me?! I'm shocked " pose

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 28/03/2013 20:19

Bollocks to 'the key people'! I am the key person! Grin

drjohnsonscat · 28/03/2013 20:23

OP I know exactly what you mean. Attention-seeking masquerading as "I'm so self-efacing".

And btw, everyone's shy so GOI. The only way to handle shyness is to remember that nobody is really paying any attention to you anyway. You'd hope by the time you got to be a MIL you'd have learned that lesson.

drjohnsonscat · 28/03/2013 20:24

Also everyone thinks they look dreadful in pictures. I do.

But what I look like is not the point of most pictures.

PainSnail · 28/03/2013 20:29

I'm one of those people who doesn't like having their photo taken.

I have really photosensitive epilepsy.

But good to know you think I'm a pain in the arse.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 28/03/2013 20:30

I don't think I look bad in pictures, well, no worse than a large number of other people.

I just don't want to be in pictures.

drjohnsonscat · 28/03/2013 20:33

painsnail I'm sorry to hear about the photosensitive epilepsy but I think that's pretty obviously not at issue in this thread.

PassNoRemark · 28/03/2013 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gail734 · 28/03/2013 20:34

drjohnsonscat: good points, well made. I always think there's a weird kind of arrogance to these so-called "shy" people.
"Oh, DO stop looking at me. Please don't photograph me, don't! Everyone's looking at me, and I'm so shy! Stop it! Everyone's looking at me!"
Em, no, they're not. Or they weren't, until you starting flapping your arms about and shouting.

OP posts:
newgirl · 28/03/2013 20:36

I think epilepsy is slightly different from posters who don't like what they look like?!

Mrsdavidcaruso · 28/03/2013 20:37

I hate having my photo taken I look like I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

newgirl · 28/03/2013 20:38

Exactly Gail! Draws yet more attention - get it over done with soon as

gail734 · 28/03/2013 20:41

Brunella, I would love to post the photos here, they do have entertainment value. However, I feel that posting photos of family members may out me! But photos last forever - I'm amazed that nobody else has identified the photo as a historical source. I have a photo of my great grandmother, a woman who was born in Skye in the late 19th century. I'm really glad to have that and know what she looked like. ONE surviving photo. And she isn't gurning or posing in it!

OP posts:
ProphetOfDoom · 28/03/2013 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin · 28/03/2013 20:43

I'm with your MIL - YABU. I bloody hate having my photo taken, and bloody hate people who are always whipping out their camera or phone - "smiiiiiiiiiile everyone".

No - fuck off.

Yika · 28/03/2013 20:45

Well I'm obviously in the small minority here. I also think it's a bit selfish to refuse to have your picture taken (within reason, obviously) - I'm talking family events, memorable moments etc., and I'm talking about those who systematically refuse, not just happen to be having a bad hair/teeth/face day. you don't have to look at it if you don't like the way you look in photos. It's for the person taking the photo to remember that moment!