To think that a person who "doesn't like having a photo taken" is a PITA?

[gail734]

My MIL is a little ... self-absorbed, shall we say. One belief that she holds is that she looks better in a photo if she's sort of caught unawares, rather than just facing the sodding camera and giving it "cheese" like everyone else. So she now tries to create this effect every time, waiting until a split second before the picture is taken before turning her head and staring into the middle distance. I first noticed it when she spoiled all of the informal photos at DH's graduation, standing beside him doing what is basically a catalogue pose. I knew she'd do it in my wedding photos, so I told the photographer to watch her like a hawk. Judging by the number of times he shouted, "Mother of the Groom, look straight at the camera, please!" she was planning to do it in every photo. She's now doing it with my 9 month old DD, her only grandchild. I think that in years to come, my DD may like to have a photo of herself with her grandmother, but I've now given up. I've always thought that people who do the big flappy hands, going, "Noo! Nooo! Don't! Don't take my photo!" make a tremendous show of themselves, but this is something else. It's not all about YOU, you old bat. And you don't look better staring off into the distance. You look like a simpleton.

[TomArchersSausage]

There's a photo of me as a baby on my mum's lap. She has a towel completely over her head and looks like a large towel shaped bump in the background.

I think she was having some sort of bad hair dayShe's not always like that about photos btw. I just thought you could suggest it for mil.

[bigbuttons]

OP you are nasty. Who on earth are you to demand that you can take someone's photo and then have them in the wrong because they don't want to?

[Tinuviel]

I hate looking at the camera if flash is being used as it sends my eyes funny and on occasion has triggered a migraine. I am sure I would be a much bigger PITA if I was whining about how ill I was feeling and vomiting over your camera/baby!!

[Snog]

YABU and insensitive

[RedToothBrush]

I don't say, "Oh a family shot? Well it'll have to be the family minus one, because I don't do photos!"

Sorry, but its the right of the person concerned to abstain from photos if they want. If YOU don't like it and want to use the emotional blackmail trick about it then frankly it YOUR problem. Just be grateful she allows you to take photos at other times.

It is not sabotage, its just not being comfortable with certain situations.

[YellowandGreenandRedandBlue]

I do as Norks does, I just say 'no thanks' to being in pictures.

I also will put my hand up when rude and annoying relatives insist on carrying on regardless. Sometimes I do v signs just to be petty

[NinaNannar]

god i am WITH YOU GAIL
those and the ones who dont like to get hot when they exercise
are shy
wont have a photo taken
wont drive at night for no reason
wont sit apart from their H at a dinner party

there is SO SO much that annoys me its amazing i dont combust

[nars]

i would talk to her about it as when people look back at photos they hated at the time usually see them as not being as bad as they think they were

(i think that made sense)!

lol at nina getting in with her usual hatred of shy people - yes we know you hate shy people

[YellowandGreenandRedandBlue]

I thoroughly loathe people who have a go at shy people. Horrid attitude.

I am not shy btw so it is not a personal issue for me, but bloody hell, why are you picking on shy people?

[MamyPoko]

I think your Op is hilarious. She does sound annoying. YANBU.

[Salmotrutta]

I could swap your MIL for my self-obsessed SIL.

She loooooves someone pointing a camera her way and does a hair-flicky, tilt-heady, toothy grin. Someone once told her she was photogenic. Big mistake.

... even if its true

[NinaNannar]

nars snuggles up

[NinaNannar]

i hope the op's MIl looks like Lulu , all turned up collar and flicky hair

[RedToothBrush]

Shy people are easier to target because they are easier to shit all over and further damage their confidence. Thats why bullies like them.

[NinaNannar]

lol BULLY?
the most overused word in the world.

Ill take unkind.

[jollygoose]

I really dont like having my photo taken as I generally come across quite ugly in a photo and hate to look at it afterwards. Whatever is a pita?

[TheBigJessie]

I can see why you wouldn't want her looking away from the camera at group shots during the wedding, but otherwise, just take pictures of her looking at her gorgeous new granddaughter. Stop trying to pose them together, and just take pictures of your MIL and daughter taking pleasure in each other's company. After all, she's right, she will come out better in the resulting pictures!

[RedToothBrush]

I hate to break it to you, but don't get to pick and chose what word you like Nina.

[HazeltheMcWitch]

I hate photos too. And I'm not shy, so if someone was clicking away at me after I'd asked them not to (or moved, if it was an occasion/scene, whatever they were trying to capture), there'd be words.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Photos steal your soul.

I'm with your MIL

[havingamadmoment]

I wouldnt say it annoys me that people dont want photos BUT my mum was like this diving out of the way refusing to have her photo taken so there are very few photos of her. So much so that she died when I was 17 and I have TWO photos of her. Thats it. I would have loved to have been able to show my children a few more - our albums look like my sister and I lived alone! my dad taking the photos my mum hiding away!

[INeedThatForkOff]

I absolutely cannot look at the camera, I just don't know why. If I have to be in a photo I end up looking in the wrong place with my lips curled into a snarly gurn which is my best impression of a natural winning smile. Try as I might, I just can't do it. You might as well ask me to copy out the Phone Book with my right hand. My mum, dad and brother are all the same.

For this reason, our wedding photographer took only inconspicuous, reportage style shots, no poses. Unfortunately, photography was such an afterthought for us that we forgot to point out some important guests like our DGMs, and there aren't any pictures of them.

YABU. Having photos taken can be a genuine problem.

[BrunellaPommelhorse]

yup rl mate said same - no pics to go on the order of service. VERY sad.

[gail734]

OMG, read my original post! bigbuttons, I certainly don't DEMAND to take this woman's photo. She gets in my photos and makes a funny face. The same funny face in every photo! RedToothBrush - she doesn't ABSTAIN. I wish she would! People look at my otherwise nice photos and go, "OMG, what is up with your MIL??" She is not shy - she think's she's gorgeous. The whole "looking into the distance" thing was developed after long hours poring over photos of herself. My point is - it is, let's say, my wedding. Stop worrying about how you look in the photos. Nobody is looking at you. You daftie.