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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think he's aboard?

81 replies

Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 22:51

NAme changed but a regular.

So, I've been with my new bf for about a month. We both met at work and the attraction was instant. He's single and I'm recently separated. We both work shifts and I have a young ds so meeting up is a task but we manage it.

My issue is that he said he was on a 7 day course in b'ham coming home tomorrow. He's texted me every morning telling me he loves / misses me. I hadn't heard from him this morning so rang him this evening. The dialing tone sounded odd, like the one you hear when calling abroad. It rang and clicked on to voice mail.

Weird or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
MumVsKids · 09/03/2013 22:53

Maybe paranoid. This happened to me today when I called my brothers landline phone.

Benefit of doubt until proven otherwise?

Jengnr · 09/03/2013 22:57

Try it again. I think he is.

Wonderland121 · 09/03/2013 22:58

I think your right.

Wonderland121 · 09/03/2013 22:59

Do what Jen said & try ringing it again, did he call you back?

JackieTheFart · 09/03/2013 23:00

I think you're right.

I also think that unless you're 16, to be texting every morning that he loves you is strange. Quite possible I am a cynical old cah though!

LaurieFairyCake · 09/03/2013 23:00

I'd still be checking he was actually single and not off on a family holiday.

JackieTheFart · 09/03/2013 23:00

*Every morning after only a month together

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2013 23:01

When I phone my DS I often get the strangest noises...and that's before he starts speaking....

Sorry I know this has nothing to do with your OP but he tells you he loves you after a few weeks of being together?

Bejeena · 09/03/2013 23:04

I think you are being paranoid I have often had weird ring tones remember is all digital connection now so could be all sorts of reasons for odd ring tone

Original poster
Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 23:04

The first time I called I heard the 'international' ring and thought phone was playing up so called again.....same thing.

He hasn't called me back tho.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 09/03/2013 23:07

I think I must be missing something other people are reading in the OP, because I can't see anything that suggests the bloke is a lying scumbag.

A funny dialing tone doesn't mean anything but a funny dialing tone does it?

Original poster
Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 23:08

I know...the I love you thing after a few weeks ( I'm in my mid 30s and he's 28).
Is that weird too?

I've recently come off antidepressants too so hence the paranoid thing.

OP posts:
MumVsKids · 09/03/2013 23:09

Brothers land line has been like it on and off for weeks. I'm certain it's not on its jollies and is to do with the digital connection.

squeakytoy · 09/03/2013 23:09

he aint in Birmingham... or his phone isnt anyway..

Original poster
Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 23:12

Squeaky - his phone is with him just not sure where he really is tho.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 09/03/2013 23:14

His course carries on over the weekend? Sunday to Sunday? Seems a bit odd. I would suspect a family holiday given the time scales.

cozietoesie · 09/03/2013 23:14

He's coming back tomorrow. Wait and see what he says if/when he contacts you.

Original poster
Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 23:18

Nightsky - the last course I went on included the weekend ( bloody NHS!) so plausible .

Maybe I'm just being insecure and hormonal !

OP posts:
larks35 · 09/03/2013 23:28

Could be a weird signal thing or could it be a change in operators or could it be that he has set his phone to divert? Who knows? Only he does and you need to ask him about it.

Lovely as your new relationship sounds it is early days and it is possible that he isn't as committed as his daily texts seem. I know that when DP and I met we were very attracted and into each other, we both knew we were onto a winner. However, we did initially give each other the space and time to continue our lives before the very new "us" and that included pre-planned holidays and nights out.

If he is abroad then maybe he has just been to chicken to tell you about his pre-planned hols before he went. That would put me off him a bit I have to admit.

Cherriesarelovely · 09/03/2013 23:31

I don't think "I love you" after that long is necessarily weird at all. I felt like that with my DP after a shorter time and told her so. 9 years later we still feel the same.

As for the dialing tone, I have no idea, sorry!

larks35 · 09/03/2013 23:31

Why has everyone assumed he is on a family hols Confused? I'm assuming a lads one!

FirstVix · 09/03/2013 23:31

I have literally been in the same room as my DP's phone and had the international ring tone sound (Disclaimer: didn't know I was in the same room 'til I tried!). It always seemed to give that tone. Think it's a setting he'd done without meaning to? He didn't know the reason either.

It was LG/Three if that is relevent.

Original poster
Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 23:35

Cherries - I know what you mean !

Although I have a sinking feeling in the pot of my stomach :(

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 09/03/2013 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Pinkdaisy4 · 09/03/2013 23:38

second what makes you say that?

OP posts: