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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told this bloke to F off

94 replies

kittysaysmiaow · 27/02/2013 17:25

I was walking DS (11 weeks) round the block in his buggy. I probably looked pretty miserable-I'm not, just sleep deprived and DS (11 weeks) has been alternately feeding and screaming at me non stop all day so I just wanted to get out of the house for a short walk. I walked past a group of pissed blokes standing outside a pub and one of them gave it the old 'give us a smile luv' and I snapped and told him to F off. I feel really annoyed with myself that I let him get the better of me but WHAT is an appropriate reply to this bloody annoying comment?

OP posts:
ParsleyTheLioness · 27/02/2013 17:31

It's really frustrating. And sexist, I have never heard them say it to another male.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/02/2013 17:31

Any response you want to make is appropriate. Verbal, that is - if you gun them down with an Uzi it would be an actual problem Grin

Pissed blokes harassing you? Say what you like.

CatelynStark · 27/02/2013 17:32

Good for you - that really pisses me off too.

CourgetteSmuggler · 27/02/2013 17:34

It is annoying! but I wouldn't let it bother you now, what's done is done and it's a pretty good reply.

sue52 · 27/02/2013 17:34

Your comment to them was appropriate. You could have been ruder and it would still have been alright.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/02/2013 17:37

LaurieFairyCake - Any response you want to make is appropriate. Verbal, that is - if you gun them down with an Uzi it would be an actual problem - should I go to the buggies section to see which ones offer purpose built storage for the Uzi?

OP - well done for speaking up.

PuppyMonkey · 27/02/2013 17:41

Totally reasonable Grin

Kooza · 27/02/2013 17:45

Only slightly less annoying than the "it might never 'appen" brigade.

Poor you, it will get better. Well done for getting out of the house at all!

Original poster
kittysaysmiaow · 27/02/2013 17:47

Thanks for the responses. I'm glad it's not just me that finds it sexist and harassing. Just wish I had dealt with it in a more dignified way than swearing like a trooper whilst pushing a buggy Smile

OP posts:
Enfyshedd · 27/02/2013 18:02

Ah yes Kooza - "Cheer up Love, it might never 'appen". Just the thing you want to hear a day or 2 after you've ID'd a friend's body when you're 13 weeks pg HmmSad.

Missmodular · 27/02/2013 18:03

I wouldn't make a habit of it - a random bloke once told me to cheer up, I told him where to go and he got really offended and started following me, calling me a bitch. It was really scary Hmm

OutsideOverThere · 27/02/2013 18:05

You did Ok. He won't even remember it if he was pissed. Wanker.

I normally ignore, or pretend not to hear, or say fuck off, if I'm feeling particularly cross, or look at them puzzled and keep walking.

Not worth worrying about though I imagine you feel knackered and shitty already, forget it, honestly. You did nothing bad. (I have an 8wo so understand the doom)

claig · 27/02/2013 18:13

I agree with MissModular, you have to be careful because you don't know how pissed people or even sober people will react.

aldiwhore · 27/02/2013 18:30

YANBU but perhaps unwise in telling a group of pissed men to fuck off, unless you're a karate expert or can run fast (or have that Uzi stored in a grabable place), you could have put you and your child in danger.

Like I say YANU, but...

flippinada · 27/02/2013 18:46

Not unreasonable at all. Don't beat yourself up for not reacting "correctly". Did they fuck off and leave you alone? If so, job done.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 27/02/2013 19:09

It is fucking annoying and patronising.

I once told someone to fuck off when they said it to me - i was depressed at the time.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 27/02/2013 19:12

Good, for you. That's my absolute pet hate. How dare some random bloke basically call me a miserable bitch just because I don't walk round with a rictus grin so he can kid himself i fancy him. Tossers!!!

And breathe!!!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/02/2013 19:20

Well I'm going to buck the trend here and say Very Unreasonable.

I'll bet every one of you who drinks alcohol in excess of what you should (ie pissed) has done/said something you shouldn't.

"Give us a smile luv" is not "Get your tits out" is it?

Why would you give someone a mouthful of abuse for trying to cheer you up?

Just sneer and walk on. Or "What-ever"

No need for swearing Hmm

fortifiedwithtea · 27/02/2013 19:21

Enfyshedd Flowers I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. That must have been a harrowing experience for you.

flippinada · 27/02/2013 19:22

Agree that it's annoying, patronising and sexist. Not to mention bloody rude.

OutsideOverThere · 27/02/2013 19:24

70 - I think the problem is we're not sure if the motive is actually to try and cheer us up. It seems like on occasion it's that they feel resentful that we may not look a picture of happy joyful womanhood, and want us to smile for their benefit, not giving a shit whether we're actually happy or not.

That's usually the impression I've got anyway.

OutsideOverThere · 27/02/2013 19:26

Also if it is intended to cheer us up. is it really their place to? They are assuming we have no preoccupations worth a ha'penny.

Enfyshedd · 27/02/2013 19:30

Hi Fortifiedwithtea -It was a bit. Another friend arrived before I went in so I had the opportunity to duck out, but I sort of felt duty bound as I'd already told the police officer and my friend's son I'd do it (friend was old, but under 70 so not that old). Other friend came in with me for support and I think we were both glad we didn't have to do it alone. Was gutted that I hadn't had a chance to see my friend in the 2 weeks since I'd had my first scan. He was like an uncle to me and 15 months on, he is still very missed by our friends and I and we're sorry that he missed his first grandchild's birth last month.

flippinada · 27/02/2013 19:32

It's the assumption that any attention from a man (even an ugly, thick pissed one) is welcome.

It's the expectation that women are decorative objects, there to look pleasing to men and must be reminded of that if they dare to look otherwise.

I could go on in this vein for some time, I warn you! Grin

flippinada · 27/02/2013 19:33

Enfyshedd how terrible. Poor you, and your friend.

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