To have told this bloke to F off

[kittysaysmiaow]

I was walking DS (11 weeks) round the block in his buggy. I probably looked pretty miserable-I'm not, just sleep deprived and DS (11 weeks) has been alternately feeding and screaming at me non stop all day so I just wanted to get out of the house for a short walk. I walked past a group of pissed blokes standing outside a pub and one of them gave it the old 'give us a smile luv' and I snapped and told him to F off. I feel really annoyed with myself that I let him get the better of me but WHAT is an appropriate reply to this bloody annoying comment?

[AnnieLobeseder]

I meant you were victim-blaming in your claim that women should feel guilty in case they responded rudely to your mental health patients.

[ClippedPhoenix]

One person said a silly remark, the other told them to fuck off?

Come on now let's not get ridiculous about it.

[Spoonful]

I don't mind people calling me love, or pet, or duck, or whatever. I don't think I even register when it happens really.
I didn't think that's what the thread was about, but some people keep bringing it up.

[FelicityWasCold]

70 you are veering from,

'These men am have MH issues, are vulnerable themselves and just want to be nice'

Through to

'You shouldn't react in case these drunken louts put you in hospital'

Depending on which opinion you think people will agree with, why are you so determined to discredit/ignore the feelings of the OP?

[Lottapianos]

Some people tie themselves in knots and work incredibly hard to discredit how other people feel. And yes it is victim blaming 70

[MidnightMasquerader]

And personally? No, I would never have the guts to tell someone to 'fuck off', but I don't blame the OP for doing so in the slightest.

[Spottyblancmange]

Whilst I don't necessarily agree with what 70 said, I do wonder why whenever there is a post about what, on the surface, appears to be bad behaviour from children SN (which encompasses the whole spectrum including MH issues in children) are always, always taken into consideration, obviously as they should be, but when it's about adults, it becomes a 99% vs 1% thing suddenly. The vast majority of children with SN grown up to be adults with SN (even then it doesn't magically disappear at 18.) MH issues can strike anyone at any time. Why is the attitude on here so sympathetic to children with SN but dismissive towards any consideration an adult could? I'd hazard a guess because that's generally how society is.

[Spottyblancmange]

There are far too many commas in that first sentence sorry, can't see what I'm typing beyond the last four or five words on this phone.

[flow4]

Blokes round here often tell each other to fuck off. So do teenage girls. It's only us middle aged, middle class women who restrain ourselves. If you think 'oh fuck off', why not say it? It's actually slightly odd to continue to be 'nice' if someone is being deliberately annoying...

[MidnightMasquerader]

True.

[AnnieLobeseder]

Spottyblancmange - I would equally point out on threads about bad behaviour from children when the SN card is played, that it is 99% more likely that the child is simply badly behaved. Though I do try to judge less these days just in case.

Also, given the setting (drunken lad outside a pub rather than a sober adult in a shop, for example) that he is simply a badly-behaved adult rather than someone with SN.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

I don't expect people to agree with me but YY to Spotty

How many times does someone post that Child A is being a right little git but gets bombarded with "Child A might have SN/ ADD"

Then it's an elderly person "being a grumpy old cow" . No, it might be a elderly person with Dementia or Alzheimers

But children become adults and how many people have undiagnosed issues (MH or otherwise)

But a drunk bloke- well he deserves to be told to go off and multiply.

Well, I'm off now.
But if someone drunk looks at me/ calls at me or whatever, I'll walk away and look with contempt.

That's being an adult IMO.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

And WRT to the OP (as I'm ignoring her views /feelings apparently)

Give us a smile luv is not in any way sexual harassment?
Reword it as "Oi your miserable face might sour milk" is rude but not sexist either or in any way a come-on.

"WHAT is the appropriate reply to this bloody annoying comment* OP asked,
.
Nothing is the reply.
As in silence.Don't feed the trolls as they say on MN. Don't waste your oxygen talking out loud to them.
Walk on.

[Pendeen]

"Just wish I had dealt with it in a more dignified way than swearing like a trooper"

My thoughts exactly.

A very coarse way to react, however tired or fed up you are.

[targaryen24]

I'd have thrown a 'used' muslin cloth at him & bonked him on the head (so he could feel as disorientated as I did for those first few months) then asked him where his smile had vanished to...

prepares for flaming !!

[targaryen24]

(well, i'd have imagined doing it, and probably ignore it/not have even heard it anyway as I was too tired to hear anything but my DS)

[BonaDrag]

I was wondering how long before someone came on here and said 'oh but what if they had mental health issues'.

Fucking AIBU bingo.

[Boomerwang]

hahaha BonaDrag I really liked that :)

If a drunk bloke hanging outside of a pub leering at women did indeed have mental health issues, why should that stop me responding in whichever way I please? Clearly his illness doesn't stop him being a fully committed member of society right down to having a few pints in the pub. Equality swings both ways, right?

[showtunesgirl]

I have been sick for a few weeks with a nasty bug as well as a nice bout of conjunctivitis, thanks DD.

I was at the train station at a Geordie guy said to me: For fuck's sake, cheer up pet.

As if THIS was actually going to cheer me up!