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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex driving the kids about without passing a test...

84 replies

monstermissy · 03/02/2013 08:48

Just a quick poll really please, exp has never passed a driving test he had some lessons around 8 years ago but none since. His gf bought a car and so he drives it with her in the passenger seat and i assume they have L plates but dont know. The kids say not. Now ive asked him to please not drive the kids about untill he has passed his test. I dont think iabu?

He has driven them every week unknown to me even in the snow the other week. My concern is hes not actually having lessons to go with this driving hes doing. He is coming to pick them up in a couple of hours and i want to bring it up but i know he will cut me dead etc (he is a EA twat if that makes a different with a massive god complex)

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2013 08:51

monster if there are no L Plates that is illegal. Is his Provisional Licence in date? Does he have insurance? So many questions. Could gf drive them, or could you drop them off?

YANBU

AKissIsNotAContract · 03/02/2013 08:51

Of course you ANBU

MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 03/02/2013 08:51

Could you report it in some way? Get some guidence from non em police? I'm sure it can't be legal.

nkf · 03/02/2013 08:52

Don't let him them go. That's for today. Tell the kids that Daddy isn't allowed to drive a car. And then report him to the relevant police department. I can't see what else you can do.

HollyBerryBush · 03/02/2013 08:52

If the new GF is in the car, then there is no bar to him driving as she is giving him lessions.

If she isn't he's driving illegally, report him.

VBisme · 03/02/2013 08:53

Definitely NBU, that's a really stupid thing to do.

Fairylea · 03/02/2013 08:53

I would report him (although he will probably deny it and therefore the police wouldn't have proof).
But would give him a poke.

Awful behaviour from him, so dangerous.

AThingInYourLife · 03/02/2013 08:54

Well if she's always in the car when he's driving, then presumably he's just like any other learner driver?

Should learners not drive children?

LindyHemming · 03/02/2013 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
monstermissy · 03/02/2013 08:56

he says he has L plates (not that the boys remember seeing them) the gf is in the car, so i suppose with L plates and her its technically a lesson which i know is legal but im still not happy about it. She is not a driving instructor and he isnt having any other lessons. So annoying that what i think is a basic request is completly ignored yet again.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2013 08:57

I don't think learners should carry children unless absolutely necessary.

HollyBerryBush · 03/02/2013 08:58

But it isn't illegal though.

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2013 08:59

No. Just not advisable. I think the GF should drive, as long as she is insured etc.

LindyHemming · 03/02/2013 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo · 03/02/2013 08:59

well, some people never have official lessons before taking and passing their test so that shouldn'tbe a problem, but if she's in the car anyway, I'd say you aren't happy with it and you'd perfer her to drive. Make sure they have the right car seats though...

ll31 · 03/02/2013 09:00

yabu, if gf is in car there is no issue.

AKissIsNotAContract · 03/02/2013 09:01

If he's that good at driving he should take his test. If he's not good enough to pass his test then he needs one to one lessons not 'lessons' with distracting kids in the back.

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2013 09:02

If he has been driving around as a learner for the best part of ten years I would say there is little intention of any imminent test taking. Is his theory test booked?

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2013 09:02

Exactly Kiss

VitoCorleone · 03/02/2013 09:05

I drove with my kids in the car before i passed my test, DP sat in with me. Its not illegal

I did have L plates on though.

Is he insured?

Original poster
monstermissy · 03/02/2013 09:06

he hasnt taken a theory test to my knowledge, he hasnt been driving for ages. He had some lessons years ago then gave up. He has only just started driving again when the gf bought the car a couple of months ago. She is always there and i dont see the problem with asking her to drive them. Another situation im not happy about but one of those ones i have no control over either i suppose...

There isnt much i can do about it is there?

OP posts:
SilveryMoon · 03/02/2013 09:07

I'm a learner driver. I failed my test last month but have another booked. I drive with the children in the car. Dp is with me, I have L plates and the car is in my name and I am the named driver on the insurance.

I fully understand your concern OP, but surely this man would not put his children in the car if he wasn't completely confident that they would be safe? I know that I am more likely to f up because of lack of experience, but for where I drive I am fairly confident that we are all safe. I wouldn't drive long distances or difficult routes because I can become flustered.

MammaTJ · 03/02/2013 09:07

I drive with my DC in the car. I only have a provisional license. My DP is well over 21 and has been driving for a very long time and he always sits beside me.

I am insured and as far as them being a distraction, I am well used to ignoring them while MNin, so continue that in the car. When they get too much, I pull up in a safe place and tell them their behaviour is putting us all at risk and why.

I don't think you are being unreasonable to question them and seek reassurance all is as it should be though.

AThingInYourLife · 03/02/2013 09:09

I don't really see that whether he drives his girlfriend's car is any if your business.

Sparklingbrook · 03/02/2013 09:09

Perhaps I should amend it to nobody should drive as a learner with my children in the car. Grin They can't sit together for 5 minutes before WW3 breaks out.

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