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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think fuck right off?!

116 replies

Aspiemum2 · 23/01/2013 16:05

So yet again ds1 comes home with homework and instructions to sit down and do it with an adult. It's a decent amount, about an hours worth.
He's 12

I am up to my eyeballs with other stuff to do and pig sick of this from schools. When I was at school we were always told that they wanted our own work and not to get help so they could see what we'd taken in.

I'm quite sure this has come up on MN before but I wanted a rant so

Aibu to think I've been to school, done plenty of homework in my time. I do not appreciate being told to do more when I left 20 odd years ago!! AngryAngryAngryAngry

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 23/01/2013 16:07

YANBU - who's homework is it....yours or his??

DS going to secondary school in sept and I am dreading the homework aspect of it...can see one long nightmare ahead!!

manicbmc · 23/01/2013 16:08

I'd be having a word. Fine at primary age when they might need help to understand but as far as I'm concerned kids should be managing their own homework by 12.

Cherriesarelovely · 23/01/2013 16:09

I would find that annoying if it happened regularly especially if Dd were 12.

beenalongtimecoming · 23/01/2013 16:11

YANBU imo! Surely homework should just be a continuation of what they were doing in school, ie they should be able to do it with maybe only a little input, not something that needs 1-1 'tuition'! Besides you having enough to do what about parents who aren't 'up to the job' academically - presumably their children suffer? Can see the point in home reading etc for younger kids as parents should be having that time with them anyway but iirc it was the same for me at secondary - homework was always something you did yourself, that was the whole point unless it was art and you were desperate so got your dad to draw it for you

Hassled · 23/01/2013 16:12

I agree that it seems ridiculous to give an express instruction that it should be done with an adult - apart from the fact that whatever he takes in to school won't necessarily reflect his understanding or ability, what about the kids whose parents aren't around/can't or won't make the time/just can't be arsed? It's hardly fair on them.

DuchessFanny · 23/01/2013 16:14

I definitely have days where i could sob from the amount of 'extra' i have to do because the DSs have come home with loads of homework ... although not my 12 year old, he does his own, my 8 year old however had TWO massive projects due in this week, on top of normal reading and spelling, it was too much !

Surely by 12 they are meant to be getting on with it themselves, so their teachers know what they are taking in/capable of ?

Pagwatch · 23/01/2013 16:14

I woud speak to the school.
Why is he being given homework to do with an adult.

I had nothing to do with ds1s homework from the moment he hit secondary.

Go in and ask.

hellsbellsmelons · 23/01/2013 16:18

YANBU. Once my DD was in secondary school, if she struggled with homeworkand asked me, I more often than not, actually had no idea what she was talking about.
If it was maths then the way I did things compared to how they do them now had changed so much I was of no use anyway.
As suggested - I would be having words with the school about it.

Original poster
Aspiemum2 · 23/01/2013 16:57

I shall definitely speak to them, I'll just calm down a bit first Wink
For tonight I get to choose between trying to find the time to do it whilst cooking the dinner, feeding, bathing, bedding 8 month old twins and also taking care of 8 yr old dd, putting off the actual work I still have to do this evening or

Risking an aspergers meltdown by telling him I don't have time ....

OP posts:
Ariel24 · 23/01/2013 16:58

Christ I'm dreading this, and DD is only 3 months! Grin I absolutely hated homework. And I won't ever be able to help her with maths as I'm dreadful at it.

They get far too much homework IMO. Of course reading at home is important, I love reading and really hope DD does too. But the amount of homework now is ridiculous, I remember when doing my GCSEs 10 years ago we were 'supposed' to be doing 3 hours a night. Oh how I laughed at that!

hattymattie · 23/01/2013 17:00

You want to live in France - I feel like I've started school all over again - and by the way YANBU.

ILoveTIFFANY · 23/01/2013 17:02

I'm a lone parent... It's unfair!! To be fair tho I do often sit down with the dc and 'assist' and take interest....And older dc but in and say 'oh i can remember when I did that in school, do it this way'..

And with 5 dc I'm finding I know the curriculum by heart.... Repeat, repeat,repeat

Original poster
Aspiemum2 · 23/01/2013 17:05

At least when the twins start school it will be the same homework! And by that point eldest dc will be leaving school and getting a well paid job to pay for all this extra tuition he's had off me

OP posts:
Cacks81 · 23/01/2013 17:09

I'm going to be unpopular here, but here goes...

As a secondary school teacher, I can see a huge benefit to this. The more parental involvement with home learning tasks has always helped with pupil progress. As work gets more demanding, being able to discuss with parents makes a huge difference. It also gives parents the opportunity to see exactly what is going on in lessons and how their ch

wakarimasen · 23/01/2013 17:09

The buzz words in education at the moment are "parents as partners". The government insist that parents participate in their child's education as much as possible. As a teacher, I'd gladly do away with homework all together. Kid's work hard all day, they need some down time in the evenings....

Cacks81 · 23/01/2013 17:09

... sorry, pressed post too soon. Rest to follow...

ClippedPhoenix · 23/01/2013 17:09

YANBU.

Unless it's revision, homework is a load of cods wallop anyway.

Unfortunately, thems the rules for the kids NOT the adults!

Greensleeves · 23/01/2013 17:10

I feel your pain, I have spent much of my time this week helping ds2 construct a bloody great family tree, spelling endless names and trying to explain who divorced who etc

yes yes very interesting and he has learned a lot, but I could have done without it. "just go up to your mum and dad's grandparents" -= clearly she wasn't reckoning on 3 adoptions (including patchy info on mystery relatives), 1 long-term foster family, about a million divorces and second families, and two enormous Irish Catholic dynasties. The thing is bigger than the fucking Bayeux tapestry.

I am also a teacher and in the school I currently work in it isn't called homework, it's called "home learning". It is supposed to be an enriching and fulfilling opportunity for parents to really "get stuck into" their children's education and be active agents etc. I bite my cheek in frustrated sympathy (it's a school policy, top-down)

Original poster
Aspiemum2 · 23/01/2013 17:13

I think dd's school as that policy too. Each term they send home a sheet with instructions for parents on what we should be doing to help our dc's that term goes straight in the shredder

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 23/01/2013 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerRoyalNotness · 23/01/2013 17:18

I'm with Cacks on this. I would want to help. If my child doesn't understand, there is either, not enough time in class to help them understand, or the teacher isn't able to explain in a way specific to them to help understanding. This is where parents step in.

I'd sit down explain what has to be done, see if he has any questions, and then check back in periodically to see how he is getting on, rather than sit beside him for the full hour.

Cacks81 · 23/01/2013 17:18

... child is progressing. Some children struggle to ask for help, especially in the first year, this is one way of identifying concerns earlier. The parent can be the spokesperson or support for that child. Leading to a more independent and resourceful learner in the future.

I would imagine it should become less frequent as your child grows up, but that transition from junior to secondary can be difficult.

In addition, there is a growing trend (not that I'm saying anyone here falls into this) for parents to absolve responsibility for their child's education. Perhaps it's just in the schools I've worked in, but it is something I have noticed more if in recent years. The children who make the most progress, are usually those who have very 'involved' parents.

As teenagers grow up, they will stop telling you what they are doing at school, this type of activity keeps you involved.

I totally agree that there can be serious overkill, and perhaps discussing it with individuals teachers or schools would be useful, but I do see the benefit of it.

Hope I've not put too many backs up. In now way making any accusations, simply stating it from my POV.

ClippedPhoenix · 23/01/2013 17:20

Oh by the way i wasn't having a go at teachers here, whom I feel very sorry for these days. The rules come from the government out of touch twits that have no bloody idea but like to poke their noses in anyway

itsallinmyhead · 23/01/2013 17:21

YANBU- if only for the fact that teaching methods have moved on so far in only a short period of time.

By the time he shows you how to do it so you can show him how it's done Grin it'll be a right cerfuffle!

VoiceofUnreason · 23/01/2013 17:23

YANBU.

It also amazes me when I hear about primary school kids having homework. Never had homework until I went to grammar school when I hit 11.

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