To think fuck right off?!

[Aspiemum2]

So yet again ds1 comes home with homework and instructions to sit down and do it with an adult. It's a decent amount, about an hours worth.
He's 12

I am up to my eyeballs with other stuff to do and pig sick of this from schools. When I was at school we were always told that they wanted our own work and not to get help so they could see what we'd taken in.

I'm quite sure this has come up on MN before but I wanted a rant so

Aibu to think I've been to school, done plenty of homework in my time. I do not appreciate being told to do more when I left 20 odd years ago!!

I always find it interesting that working with your dc (leaving Pag's valid point aside for the mo) is considered "spoon feeding" and doing it for them.

It's no different to what teacher's do, sharing information and facilitating their learning. Discussing to develop thought and exploring theories and ideas. Why might the poet have chosen that image? Why might the historian have drawn that conclusion? etc etc.

fuck. teachers with no apostrophe

"bonding" over homework? I'm really glad for you hully but it's never happened in my house or anyone elses that I know of

I always thought we were odd...

We had a lovely evening the other day, one of the dc was studying the war poet and the other one joined in and we had a really good chat about it all with biscuits and wine (not for them). It was great.

poets.

Perhaps I need to get out more

I've driven everyone away screaming

I get involved. I am interested in what they're doing, especially DS who is in year 7, and is now on familiar ground for me.

But I wouldn't set a homework that involved a parent because some parents don't have the confidence in their own schooling to help, some are very anti school, a fairly high proportion don't speak English, and some, like the OP, have other demands on their time.

I think just being available is useful in itself though, and I often tell my students to bore their family and friends by explaining a topic to them in order to check their own understanding.

You are blessed Hully really you are Not sure how you can have an evening during the day though?

Hully I agree working with your child is great and the benefits are great for the child for a number of reasons. But, having school send work home for the parents to do with a child I disagree with, as I said before, too much pressure for some children.

And,

a lot of parents do do their childs homework, I taught in a PS that sent out homework, I got sick of marking and having to give gold stars to the parents, honestly you would not believe!

I'm dead clever me, Phoenix

Perhaps I should have tried with more biscuits and wine?

In fairness DS1 did start using me for his English once he started a level. I would read his essays and critiques. I was pretty good at that so I was happy to help. It did lead to us talking about literature, poetry and then the arts. We go to stuff together now - art galleries etc. he recommends books and things.

Perhaps I should be less nervous and be a bit more involved with DD. I can see the advantages if parents are able.

I know dreams, I know it's not for everyone and I know it isn't fair on those without parents able/willing to help.

I just enjoy it, I love talking about all that stuff even if they don't want me too

Loving the different perspectives, I've not disappeared I'm just doing my bloody homework I'll be back later!

to

dear lord

pokes self in eyeball as finds poems a load of airy fairy tripe, unless of the dirty rhymning sort of course

Maybe that's it Phoenix, I do genuinely enjoy it, especially as they get older.

Mind you, I must say the war poets really aren't airy fairy...

I use to be very enthusiastic at helping DD with her art and history homework, she asked me to stop

But isn't finding things out for themselves, whether on line, at the library, from text books etc helping them as well? I know my boss wouldn't sit and go through a project with me- i would be expected to do it myself.
Surely independent learning is a life skill they need to develop?

Don't get me wrong, i wouldn't banish my dc to their rooms to do it and never help, just that they need to try themselves to process it and not have me confusing them with different methods than the way their teachers do.

What about parents who try but aren't very academic? The ones that try and do the work with their dc but don't actually know what they are helping with? If the work isn't marked how does the teacher know that the child understands the work?

Give me a good story any day rather than a poem, i find poets to be rather self centred and egotistical hiding under some sort of arty farty licence. I must say i thoroughly enjoy spending time with my teen too, we laugh a lot together, just not over homework.

Allout, it's not just about finding things out, it's teaching them how to think, how to develop theories and follow lines of argument, how to structure essays and responses, how to explore why they think what they think...

I get more excited than the kids do when they have a weekend free of homework

True fact ^

Read Wilfred Owen and see what you think.I was demned impressed.

Will do Hully, I've yet to be inspired but who knows huh.

In my book it's all about school staying rather separate from home life and having the choice of discussing other things away from academia and achievement.

DS and I have many a discussion but it isn't pre-empted by what "must" be carried on from school.