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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am shaking with worry - did something soooo stupid

126 replies

marriedinwhite · 10/01/2013 20:58

This morning on the way to drop ds at school (a drive I have done for 10 years) I clipped another car and took off my wing mirror.

I heard the bang but didn't realise my wing mirror was hanging off for at least 50 yards and was running a bit late. By the time I said to ds, what happened? we were another 100 yards on. I was in shock and dropped him at school (90 sec - he hops out as I pull up - he's 18 so no danger).

Realising what had happened I went back to the spot and parked and examined all the the parked cars for damage to leave a note with details, etc.. I couldn't see any damage.

It all happened so fast - but I should have stopped and I didn't am now really worried that I will be reported for not stopping after an accident.

There's not much I can do but I feel absolutely dreadful and terrified someone will have taken my number and reported me.

My wing mirror looked wrecked but I went straight to my mechanic and he says he can repair with half a wing mirror and it will only cost about £100 but that's not the point - I didn't stop and I feel terrified and awful because I should and I can't really explain why except for the shock factor and that I was 150 yards away and almost at school before it happened.

Oh that sounds pathetic - but 30 odd years of driving and I've never done anything so stupid.

OP posts:
mum382013 · 10/01/2013 21:00

call the police and explain?

Tee2072 · 10/01/2013 21:00

You hit a car. Not a person. No one got hurt. Calm down.

spanky2 · 10/01/2013 21:03

I have reversed out of my drive into a parked car TWICE !! Proper dents and indicator lights hanging off and my neighbour unable to open the door Blush Try not to worry .

CandyCrush · 10/01/2013 21:04

Seriously, stop worrying. It's not great, but it happens all the time here. I've literally had my wing mirror smashed off 8 times or so. Never once has someone left me their details.

Obviously in an ideal world you would be able to admit liability etc but you did try. It's actually possible that although your mirror smashed, theirs just pinged back. It sort of depends on the type and the angle and direction at which you hit it.

kaiserfootmuff · 10/01/2013 21:04

i doubt anyone would report you, unless someone rushed out and took your number! then they would probably just tell the car owner and they would follow up through their insurers if there was any damage.

if you couldn't see any then sounds like your car took the brunt. wouldn't worry myself these things happen.

PoppyWearer · 10/01/2013 21:07

I did this once soon after I passed my test, heard a bang but didn't realise until much later the same day that I had clipped another car and damaged my own wing mirror.

By which time it was impossible to trace the other car.

It doesn't stop you feeling bad about it though.

We've had a wing mirror kicked off a car before. The thug who did that probably didn't lose any sleep...

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 10/01/2013 21:07

Bloody hell, I've clipped wing mirrors before. It's annoying for all concerned but its not the end of the world! You've looked for the damaged car and not found it so don't panic, at least you've tried. At least it wasn't a person!

Is the damage just worse on your car? Wing mirrors are designed nowadays to spring back into place with minimum stress so it could just be that the other mirror absorbed the impact and sprung back into place and there is no damage. Mine do, from snagging them on the gatepost once or twice. Blush

NewYearNewNagoo · 10/01/2013 21:07

You went back.

If you feel terrible then leave your details with the police, explaining that you did not know which car that you might have hit, and that you could not see any damage.

It's fine.

squeakytoy · 10/01/2013 21:08

all you can have done is clip their wing mirror too.. its no big deal..

DoodleAlley · 10/01/2013 21:09

It's an offence to leave the scene of an accident so if you are worried pop down to your local police station and report it and they'll just keep it on their records in case anyone does approach them.

But if you're going to do that do it soon as, if I recall correctly, you've for 24 hrs to do it in.

HumphreyCobbler · 10/01/2013 21:11

It is an unfortunate thing to happen, but I think your level of anxiety is excessive. I am very sympathetic to this as I suffer myself from excessive anxiety.

I try to think of the worst that can actually happen and assess how bad this would be. So in your case, you would end up having to pay for someone's wing mirror damage. Then I tell myself it isn't fatal Smile

kaiserfootmuff · 10/01/2013 21:11

i really don't think the police would be interested

DoodleAlley · 10/01/2013 21:16

I'm afraid to say I know from experience that the police are interested. Not in terms of you committing an offence but to help you avoid own by using their reporting system. They keep the details on record and then match them to any reports. You'll need to bring id and insurance info

LessMissAbs · 10/01/2013 21:17

Probably just damaged your own car if your wing mirror was so badly damaged. At least you tried to rectify it. If you do something similar another time, suppress the panic reaction and try to stop immediately. Karma restored.

GrannyRatOnAScooter · 10/01/2013 21:17

I'd ring 101 and report it to police or at least ask their advice.

A similar thing happened to us a few years ago when Police came to our house and said they'd had a report of my DH reversing our car into a parked car in Tescos car park. We had been in the car park but hadn't hit any car. Anyway, my DH had to go to the police station and be questioned under caution on suspicion of leaving the scene of an accident.

It was very scary but in the end the police didn't pursue it as there was no damage to our car or witnesses.

kaiserfootmuff · 10/01/2013 21:18

really? when someone crashed into me (and left wrong details) the police told me that was what i paid insurance for, weren't interested at all unfortunately

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 10/01/2013 21:19

It wouldn't even occur to me to tell the police that I'd clipped someone's wing mirror. They would probably tell me to speak to my insurance company, surely?

GrannyRatOnAScooter · 10/01/2013 21:21

Yes, honestly. They knocked one Sunday morning and the incident was supposed to have happened a couple of weeks earlier. It was awful. We think it was part of a scam as the car owner ended up claiming on our insurance. We decided to just allow this as we just wanted to forget about it.

GrannyRatOnAScooter · 10/01/2013 21:24

It wouldn't have occurred to me either Ilove before our incident but I absolutely would always stop and investigate any damage and attempt to locate the owner or the very least, leave a note with my contact details.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 10/01/2013 21:27

Wow. I do live and learn.

laracroft2001 · 10/01/2013 21:28

By the way £100 for a wing mirror replacement seems steep. I'm sure u can get them from halfords for under £20. We did for my last car anyway. Dh fitted it

eslteacher · 10/01/2013 21:33

On a moral level...its only a bit of metal and paint. Just a thing. Nothing that really matters in the grand scheme of anything.

On a legal level, if you're worried then call/email the police and explain. You can potentially file a report and have a clear conscience.

VivaLeBeaver · 10/01/2013 21:34

Laracroft, I think that was probably just for the glass part, not a whole actual mirror which includes the casing. Halfords don't sell those,

Goldenbear · 10/01/2013 21:34

I had the police turn up at my Mum's house when I was living there as someone had reported me for backing into a car in a car park. I didn't recall any bang. My Mum was very worried as I had written off her car 6 months prior and the police where also involved in that one. However, this was 16 years ago and I'm sure they have less resources now. In my case it turned out to be someone trying to get me to pay for damage that they had done to their own car. I did not back into their car and this was luckily proven on CCTV.

DoodleAlley · 10/01/2013 21:34

Yup had a scrape when pg a few years ago and phoned them
Up I ask what to do and told to come in and filled in the forms given to me. Nothing ever came from it so no one must have reported it but I personally slept better and it prevented nightmares about me having my child in prison!