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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am shaking with worry - did something soooo stupid

126 replies

marriedinwhite · 10/01/2013 20:58

This morning on the way to drop ds at school (a drive I have done for 10 years) I clipped another car and took off my wing mirror.

I heard the bang but didn't realise my wing mirror was hanging off for at least 50 yards and was running a bit late. By the time I said to ds, what happened? we were another 100 yards on. I was in shock and dropped him at school (90 sec - he hops out as I pull up - he's 18 so no danger).

Realising what had happened I went back to the spot and parked and examined all the the parked cars for damage to leave a note with details, etc.. I couldn't see any damage.

It all happened so fast - but I should have stopped and I didn't am now really worried that I will be reported for not stopping after an accident.

There's not much I can do but I feel absolutely dreadful and terrified someone will have taken my number and reported me.

My wing mirror looked wrecked but I went straight to my mechanic and he says he can repair with half a wing mirror and it will only cost about £100 but that's not the point - I didn't stop and I feel terrified and awful because I should and I can't really explain why except for the shock factor and that I was 150 yards away and almost at school before it happened.

Oh that sounds pathetic - but 30 odd years of driving and I've never done anything so stupid.

OP posts:

gallifrey · 10/01/2013 21:36

my friend did exactly the same and actually reported it to the school office but nobody ever said anything. try not to worry x

MrsPresley · 10/01/2013 21:36

It's also possible that the other car had no damage.

On my car if someone hits the wing mirror it just sort of bends backwards, no damage done ...yet!

It's happened a couple of times where I park for work.

I've now realised it's best to push my mirror in when I'm at work.

laracroft2001 · 10/01/2013 21:39

Viva you may well be right but I'm sure it was the whole Wing mirror... Glass but is around £6 (broke that a lot)

FourthTimeAround · 10/01/2013 21:40

"If's an offence to leave the scene of an accident"

Not quite. You have to stop and leave your details OR report an accident where injury has been caused where diamage has been caused to another vehicle. Here there was no sign of any damage to any other vehicle and if no other vehicle was damaged then there was no duty even to stop. It is only logical if you think about it.

Also, to the OP who said her husband was obliged to submit to questioning under caution - not unless he was under arrest, he wasn't.

FourthTimeAround · 10/01/2013 21:41

That should have read OR damage has been caused to another vehicle. Sorry!

FourthTimeAround · 10/01/2013 21:43

"It turned out to be someone trying to get me to pay for damage that they had done to their own car."

ie, perverting the course of justice. Not wise..

mumandboys123 · 10/01/2013 21:44

I did something similar once - reversed out of a car park and apparently scraped the car next to me. Had no idea I'd done it (had an 8 week old baby at the time!) but someone took my car reg and reported me to the police. I got a letter in the post asking me to call them. When I called I was asked to go in for an interview under caution. The policeman looked at my car - which had no damage to it - and asked me a few questions. I had no real idea of what day it might have been or the details of the day - it was a car park I parked in regularly at the time to do a quick shop. He took the statement, asked me what I would have done had I realised what had happened (stopped and left a note on the windscreen) and that was it. Had a letter through the post about a week later saying they wouldn't prosecute as there wasn't sufficient evidence but that the had the right to prosecute should any other information come to light. The insurance companies then dealt with it and I had no choice but to admit liability 'cos of the witness so I lost my no claims bonus but that was the worst of it. I don't know what would have happened if there had been damage to my car but all you can do is come clean if you get a letter in the post and explain. If you didn't do damage to anything other than your car (and it sounds like that) then I'm not sure they're going to prosecute you for damaging your own car - you could do that in your own driveway! It does occur to me that it might have been sensible to take time dated photos of the other car to show that there was no obvious damage at the time? could you go back and do that tomorrow, perhaps, if you're really concerned?

mumandboys123 · 10/01/2013 21:47

just to answer Fourthtimearound - they told me in the police station that the interview was under caution and I was indeed caution but that I was free to leave and/or seek legal advice if I wanted it before continuing. They also said that if I had left they would simply have arrested me on the basis that I had something to hide. So, it is perfectly possible to be interviewed under caution without being arrested.

TunaPastaBake · 10/01/2013 21:53

Fourthtimeround - you can be interviewed at a station under caution when not under arrest. You are told ' you are not under arrest and free to leave at any time '. A caution is given to make you aware that anything you say will be used in evidence.

TunaPastaBake · 10/01/2013 21:53

X post

Aliglobetrek · 10/01/2013 21:53

Someone hit my car once - scraped and dented all up the side and drove off. I rang the police and they made ME produce my documents! I was fuming!!!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 10/01/2013 21:54

I recall getting 20 years' ago caught going down a narrow street, parked cars both sides and a fire engine on a call blue lights flashing hurtling towards me. I was only doing about 20 mph, pulled up and BANG stopped sharpish. Had done the same as you. The fire engine went by so I moved along, parked as soon as I could and went back on foot. Both wing mirrors fine - mine had popped back, his or hers totally unscathed. Like you I felt terrible. No harm done I drove home at about 11 mph. I told our mate a PC who said no damage no worry. Had it been a person or cyclist not a vehicle clearly that would be different.

RandallPinkFloyd · 10/01/2013 21:58

It's highly unlikely that you badly damaged a car but they drove off in the few minutes it took you to go back.

As other posters have said damage very much depends on the mechanics of the impact and can vary massively so the likelihood is that the other car wasn't damaged.

As for you not stopping, shock Is a weird thing. My Xh was hit a while ago. A van side swiped him coming off a roundabout then sped off. My car was a wreck, ended up being written off. Xh carried on driving for almost 2 miles before pulling over.

FourthTimeAround · 10/01/2013 21:59

The police can only arrest where they have reasonable grounds to suspect an offence has been committed. Here it does not sound as if they had such grounds. In any event, I didn't say the police could not question someone under caution without arresting them. I said without an arrest the person was not obliged to go in to the station for questioning.

FourthTimeAround · 10/01/2013 22:04

Tunapastabake

You misread my post - see my response to mumandboys123.

Btw the first part of the caution - you do not have to say anything - is at least as important as the rest..

Original poster

marriedinwhite · 10/01/2013 22:05

DH is home and I have talked it through with him. DH is not overly bothered. He has said I have an unblemished driving record and I went back to check if there was any damage. He has also said that if there is a report, ie, number taken, etc., for not stopping, that we will just explain that I was shocked, didn't drive far and came back within two/three minutes to check for damage and see if I could put things right. We are also going to report it, for the record, but not claim, to the insurers just in case. DH doesn't think I need to report it to the police. He says that if they contact us we can evidence we reported it to the insurers, provide the invoice for the damage to my car which will evidence that there couldn't have been much damage to another and offer to pay for any damage to their wing mirror.

OP posts:

thecook · 10/01/2013 22:08

Marriedinwhite try not to worry love. I have read many of your posts and you are a very responsible decent person. I can remember when your lad had gone to that music festival and got home late.

You were in shock love that is why you carried on driving. You went straight back. but you couldn't see any damaged car. Try not to worry love.

TunaPastaBake · 10/01/2013 22:08

Thank you Fourthtimeround - my 20 yrs on the police is a bit rusty having left 10 yrs ago. But thank you for reminding me

AyeOopMoose · 10/01/2013 22:10

I had a car deliberately drive into my car (when 8.5 months pregnant). The driver drove off (I took his number plate) and I reported it to the police as my car had a fair bit of damage.

He told the police he hadn't realised there was damage to my car (yeah, right you drove straight into me when I was stationary, mate!).

The police said because of this no offence had been committed as "he didn't know he'd left the scene of an accident". I was disgusted by their attitude and laxness.

So OP based on my experience, I'd probably contact the police, explain what happened and that you didn't realise until you'd left the area that you'd clipped another car. I doubt they'll even be interested. Don't worry.

ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay · 10/01/2013 22:14

Relax. I did this once. It was on my driving test though so seriously annoying.

But you get over it.

And all you have to do is explain you did go ack and couldn't see any damage. I would hope the police have better things to do.

DeWe · 10/01/2013 22:14

Hmm. if you phone the police they might charge you with leaving the scene of an accident.

I know someone who got knocked off their motorbike by a car turning left into them. Car failed to stop, and they failed to get the number. He rode round to the nearest police station and ended up getting a caution for leaving the scene of an accident. Police didn't seem interested in the car that hit them

If you do go, then make sure it's clear you stopped and couldn't work out which car.

meltedcreditcard · 10/01/2013 22:24

Don't worry! Similar thing happened to me a few years ago.

I was driving up a hill and the winter sun was in my eyes. Suddenly bang and smash, my wing mirror clipped a truck parked on and off the pavement. My wing mirror on the passenger side clipped the truck and slammed into the passenger mirror and smashed. I stopped my car because it made such a noise and I was in shock.

There was no damage to the truck, it was a big metal pick up thing but my wing mirror was dangling off and smashed the passenger window - glass all over passenger seat.

I expected people to come running out of houses at the noise of the impact but no one appeared. I phoned DH who said check the truck which I did. As I said the bit I hit was not damaged, only my car.

Drove home with smashed window and wing mirror dangling.

We did not bother the police or the insurance company. DH a bit cross but I am so glad that no one was sitting in the passenger seat at the time.

Accidents happen but at least no body was hurt.

flow4 · 10/01/2013 23:07

A similar thing happened to me last year, married. I was passing a row of parked cars on a narrow rural road, coming round them at car-door distance, when an oncoming vehicle approached me too fast and too far over, so I pulled in slightly, and clipped someone's wing mirror. I didn't immediately realise what the sound was, and kept driving. Then I thought that the oncoming vehicle had hit me, so I pulled over to look. Then I realised that the sound had in fact come from the passenger side, and saw that my wing mirror was wonky, so realised what must have happened. I couldn't turn round immediately, because of the bendy narrowness of the road, so I have to drive on a little way before I could do a U-turn and come back. It was 4-5 mins before I got back to the row of parked cars.

I parked, and looked up and down the row. There were no damaged wing mirrors and no scratches to be seen anywhere. I couldn't see a single mark on any of the 8 or so cars near where I had heard the sound.

It didn't occur to me to call the police or my insurance company. There was no damage, so nothing to report, I thought. No-one has ever come knocking on my door to arrest me! Don't fret!

Tranmeremum · 01/07/2015 12:41

Who is liable?
Any comments on this scenario. I was driving along a road and had to move to the left slightly as a car came towards me. I smashed a van's wing mirror (though there was no glass on the floor so a bit suspicious as to how much damage was down to me)
I parked up and went back. The driver was in the van, and his mate. I apologised and half agreed to pay for glass replacement. Then when I was taking a photograph of the van I noticed that it was parked half on half off the road on double yellow lines on one of those raised pedestrian walk ways, this changed my tone. Does anyone know who is liable for this damage. I am being chased for £35 for damages, not a vast amount, but I've also got chipped paint on my wing mirror and feel like it was now his fault. If he wasn't illegally parked I wouldn't have hit him.

WorraLiberty · 01/07/2015 12:45

I'm not sure it works like that.

I expect the law would say that if you'd been driving carefully you wouldn't have hit him, regardless of how he parked.

I'm not entirely sure though.

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