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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am shaking with worry - did something soooo stupid

126 replies

marriedinwhite · 10/01/2013 20:58

This morning on the way to drop ds at school (a drive I have done for 10 years) I clipped another car and took off my wing mirror.

I heard the bang but didn't realise my wing mirror was hanging off for at least 50 yards and was running a bit late. By the time I said to ds, what happened? we were another 100 yards on. I was in shock and dropped him at school (90 sec - he hops out as I pull up - he's 18 so no danger).

Realising what had happened I went back to the spot and parked and examined all the the parked cars for damage to leave a note with details, etc.. I couldn't see any damage.

It all happened so fast - but I should have stopped and I didn't am now really worried that I will be reported for not stopping after an accident.

There's not much I can do but I feel absolutely dreadful and terrified someone will have taken my number and reported me.

My wing mirror looked wrecked but I went straight to my mechanic and he says he can repair with half a wing mirror and it will only cost about £100 but that's not the point - I didn't stop and I feel terrified and awful because I should and I can't really explain why except for the shock factor and that I was 150 yards away and almost at school before it happened.

Oh that sounds pathetic - but 30 odd years of driving and I've never done anything so stupid.

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 06/02/2017 13:50

ZOMBIE thread

derxa · 06/02/2017 14:03

Well my DH was taken to court for backing into a car in a supermarket. He'd no idea he'd done it and had no damage to his car. Report it to the police.

derxa · 06/02/2017 14:04

Angry Zombie thread

evethere · 06/02/2017 14:15

i haven't reopened no thread,sodding fed up ? bugger off then !

PoundingTheStreets · 06/02/2017 14:16

Take a deep breath. This will be fine. However, there are some things you need to do to make sure you're covered.

A reportable accident is one in which someone is either hurt or one where a vehicle/road furnishings/property other than your own car is damaged. From what you've said, it sounds as though only your own car has been damaged, which would mean you've committed no offence.

However, you cannot know for sure because you left. If it transpires that there was damage caused to someone else's vehicle, you will have technically committed the offence of failing to stop, but I can't see any police officer deeming it in the public interest to pursue based on the fact you reacted out of shock then went back to try to find any other parties involved. It's not like you've tried to dodge responsibility.

For a reportable accident, the law requires you to stop and remain for a reasonable time in order to find the other interested party and for them to request your details (name, address, etc). If this isn't possible, you need to report to police - in person (not by telephone) - as soon as possible and within 24 hours (this doesn't actually mean you have 24 hours however. The 24-hours was written in to allow for people needing hospital treatment, etc. The law requires you to report as soon as possible within that 24 hours).

In your case, I would go to your nearest police station and report but tell them you can't find any damage on any other cars. Your obligations are then fulfilled as far as possible, and it clearly demonstrates you are not trying to avoid responsibility. Probably nothing will ever come of it.

Maudlinmaud · 06/02/2017 14:17

Yes you have. What?

WaitrosePigeon · 06/02/2017 14:18

Argh why do people to this! Look at the fucking date!

PoundingTheStreets · 06/02/2017 14:21

Ah well, that's the beauty of mumsnet and life in general - it's the same old themes over and over again, only the names and dates change... Wink

SingingInTheRainstorm · 06/02/2017 14:26

You went back, you looked to see who you hit. If you're really worried call 101 and report it, but likelihood is they will just keep it on file in case another person calls saying my wing mirror was clipped and the driver didn't stop.
I don't think you'll be in trouble, it's relatively minor damage. Try and calm down, these things happen. You didn't notice right away, so it made sense to carry on to drop your son off then inspect to see if you'd damaged anything.
I hope your nerves calm down soon, maybe a reason for a glass of wine later.

BurningBridges · 06/02/2017 14:28

This was in 2013. OP is probably still in prison for the offence. Hmm

trulybadlydeeply · 06/02/2017 14:28

Well I've set a reminder to revive this thread next year - it's had an outing regularly since 2013, so surely it deserves to come out again in 2018 Grin

Finola1step · 06/02/2017 14:31

I know this is a Zombie thread. I know that I shouldn't post on it because it just keeps a Zombie thread active. But...the OP is marriedinwhite. I've not seen that NN for a long old time and OP was a definite regular. Does anyone know if she was banished for some godawful reason? Or just a name change?

doubledecker1986 · 06/02/2017 14:35

Ring the none emergency number, explain what happened, leave your reg plate, date, time etc and ask for it to be logged.

Just say it wasn't safe to stop right at that spot because of busy traffic and you were panicking about being late for school, and when you went back shortly you couldn't see any damage on any of the parked cars and aren't sure which car you hit or if it was still there.

Then, if anybody did see you and report it, (unlikely) you have also done something about it so not necessarily buggered off and ignored what happened.

WaitrosePigeon · 06/02/2017 14:41

Ah well, that's the beauty of mumsnet and life in general - it's the same old themes over and over again, only the names and dates change

What on earth has that got to do with the price of bread?

PoundingTheStreets · 06/02/2017 14:44

Waitrose - I was replying to someone upthread questioning why people were bothering to post on a zombie thread.

It may be a zombie thread, but someone somewhere will be living through a similar experience right now.

NavyandWhite · 06/02/2017 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grewsap · 06/02/2017 14:48

even I noticed it said 2013

I think I actually remember it from first time around Blush

LagunaBubbles · 06/02/2017 14:55

i haven't reopened no thread,sodding fed up ? bugger off then !

Evethere unless you live in some sort of parallel universe where one minute its Jan 2016 and then next Feb 2017 yes you did open an old thread. Hmm

NavyandWhite · 06/02/2017 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WaitrosePigeon · 06/02/2017 14:56

Yes they may but what on earth is the point of bumping the thread? It's not like the OP is going to reply this evening.

I'm not having a go at you by the way, sorry if it comes across pissy.

I get so cross with Zombie's need to get a life

Topseyt · 06/02/2017 15:00

This is clearly a thread which refuses to die. Grin

The original offence was 4 years ago, so all done and dusted now.

greenworm · 06/02/2017 15:03

I sympathise and am a real worrier about this stuff too, but everyone tells me I am crazy to let tint things play on my mind. I parallel parked once and touched the bumper of the car behind while doing so, got out and saw the car behind had a massive scratch along the bottom of the bonnet. Rationally I knew it couldn't have been me that did it, the angle was wrong and the light touch I made couldn't possibly have caused it, but it didn't stop me worrying about it for AGES. I think most people go through life not giving things like this a second thought.

greenworm · 06/02/2017 15:03

Aaaargh zombie thread.

Maudlinmaud · 06/02/2017 15:04

Please look at the date.

FireInTheHead · 06/02/2017 15:22

I had a rear end collision with someone backing out of her parking space as I was backing out of mine in a supermarket parking lot. It was a pretty loud bang, she must have heard/felt it, and I pulled immediately back into my space and got out, she just drove off! I could clearly see a big dent and scrape on her car as she drove off made by my trailer hitch but there was no damage to my car. I waited a few minutes in case she came back then drove home myself. Like you, OP, I then got irrationally worried about 'leaving the scene' and later getting a knock at the door from the cops in case she didn't notice the damage until she got home and then reported me. In the end I called the cops, they just took my details and advised me to call the supermarket and also leave contact details with them but I never heard a thing back.