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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that nobody cares?

100 replies

McPie · 22/09/2012 09:07

Its my birthday today and I have a total of 3 cards to open and thats it so far. No presents from my dh, my kids or my parents and I doubt my siblings will even bother or remember! I dont want much just a small token gift, like some flowers or a bottle of wine to show that I was thought about for more than the time it takes to pick up a card.
I take time to pick out nice presents for everyone but when it comes to me nobody seems to bother Sad. Dh treated himself to a new fancy mp3 player last week and his birthday was 6 months ago but all I get is a card!

OP posts:
frootshoots · 22/09/2012 09:09

:( YANBU, that's rubbish.

Hope your dh and kids have a lovely surprise tucked up their sleeves for you later!

Thanks Wine

frazzledbutcalm · 22/09/2012 09:09
Sad HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Thanks Wine
frootshoots · 22/09/2012 09:09

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Grin

PurplePidjin · 22/09/2012 09:10

ThanksWine

iii
...
...

^^that's a birthday cake, btw...

flyoverthegoldenhill · 22/09/2012 09:11

Wine Thanks

HecateHarshPants · 22/09/2012 09:12

Happy birthday.

Stop bothering for their birthdays, that's all I can say.

Petty? Perhaps, (screw the 'rise above it' shit Grin ) but when they have their birthday and they get nothing, perhaps they will understand that it's the THOUGHT that counts and that no thought at all makes you feel like you don't matter.

Cos it's not about stuff.

defineme · 22/09/2012 09:12

It's only 9am-maybe you have treats to come?

Do you treat yourself to stuff like your dh does?
Is he historically crap about birthdays?
Who are the cards from?
How old are your kids?

I discuss my birthday in advance, dh and I decide what we'll do eg go out, I specify lie in and breakfast in bed and point him to my amazon wish list.

Go out and treat yourself if nothing's appeared by lunch?

THEMardy · 22/09/2012 09:17

Shame on MrMcPie. Time for a hint maybe. "such a lovely card. Shame you've been so busy and didn't have time to shop for a pressie.". Grin

Happy Birthday.

LizzieVerekerGold · 22/09/2012 09:27

That's pants, I'm sorry and hope you get nice things later. Pop into town and get yourself a little treat.

Happy birthday Thanks. Wine

Tee2072 · 22/09/2012 09:29

Happy birthday!

Stop buying them things.

Go do something nice for yourself today.

McPie · 22/09/2012 09:29

Thank you for the birthday wishes I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself today!
Cards are from my parents, dh and kids but have not bothered to open them yet as then its all over.
I dont buy anything thats not needed for myself, so mainly buy basic clothes, trainers, toiletries. I have started to go to excercise classes but as its through my nurse its only costing me £1 which is not like I'm spending loads on myself (the reason I had to buy trainers).
Ds2 (5) has chicken pox so the plans I had with him ds1 (11) and dd (5) are out the window and can't go anywhere myself as dh is working all day and it's still too early for Wine.

OP posts:
THEMardy · 22/09/2012 09:31

I think it's about time for a bit f straight talking with your Dh.

Claireabella1 · 22/09/2012 13:39

A soldier died in afghan yesterday, you woke up to 'just' three birthday cards, some people wake up to no food, water or hope, grow up and get some perspective.

kim147 · 22/09/2012 13:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NatashaBee · 22/09/2012 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouMayLogOut · 22/09/2012 13:45

YANBU. Happy Birthday!

What I find a bit Hmm is when everyone decides not to bother getting a present/card in time for someone's birthday, but to get around to it at a later date. This leaves the person with nothing to open on their birthday, and bits and pieces arriving in dribs and drabs later. How hard is it (except for very bulky presents) to ensure it arrives for the day? Isn't part of the fun to have the cards and gifts all together, on the right day?

Ithinkitsjustme · 22/09/2012 13:45

Unless you know that he's not bothered I'd open the cards! I thought my DH had forgotten our anniversary a couple of years ago and bought a card when I remended him, but when I opened it he had put concert tickets inside. I hope your DH has done something similar for you, or has a surprise up his sleeve for later. If not why not have a word and tell him how crap it's made you feel. Ask him to take you out for the evening. I hope your day gets better - and yes as Clairebella1 says there are people who are worse off, but don't feel guilty about wanting some recognition of a special day for you, it does matter. Happy Birthday, from virtually everyone on mumsnet!! Grin

ihearsounds · 22/09/2012 13:45

Its the thought that counts, not the gifts. When my kids were younger, I didn't always get gifts, but they got the card, and I didn't sulk. Plus at 9 in the morning, you don't know if anything has been arranged, nor what is in the cards as you haven't even bothered to open them yet.

YouMayLogOut · 22/09/2012 13:46

Claireabella1 and yet you're spending your time replying to MN posts...?

FourEyesGold · 22/09/2012 13:47

Happy birthday McPie! Hope there's a big surprise for you later.

Claireabella1 You meanie! It's you who needs some pespective - the OP isn't saying that she's the unluckiest person in the world and that she doesn't care about the feelings or unhappiness of others. She's allowed to be pissed off that people seem to have largely ignored her birthday. If she'd posted this in politics or something, fair enough. But she didn't.

StrawberryMojito · 22/09/2012 13:48

Clairabella- completely unnecessary. She's not saying it's the end of the world, just a bit of a shame that nobody bothered to make an effort on her birthday. It would piss me off too.

Happy Birthday OP. Buy yourself something nice.

cocobongo · 22/09/2012 13:53

Claireabella1 Sat 22-Sep-12 13:39:13

A soldier died in afghan yesterday, you woke up to 'just' three birthday cards, some people wake up to no food, water or hope, grow up and get some perspective.

And plenty of Afghanis have died over the last decade, at the hands of the soldiers over them. I guess that is the risk you take, when you are paid to fight in a "war".

DameEnidsOrange · 22/09/2012 14:03

Happy birthday McPie

Treat yourself to something lovely from all of us

Thanks Wine

vamosbebe · 22/09/2012 14:07

That cooks sock Sad

I hope you have a nice surprise later.

Claireabella1 shame on you

Thumbwitch · 22/09/2012 14:09

Happy Birthday and I feel your pain.
It's not nice to think that none of your family can be arsed to do anything for you, to think anything about what you would like. I've had this all this year and DH will be bloody lucky if he gets anything for Christmas now.
Obviously your 5yos need help getting you something, and your 11yo may need help too - so your DH is the one most at fault here. :(

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