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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that nobody cares?

100 replies

McPie · 22/09/2012 09:07

Its my birthday today and I have a total of 3 cards to open and thats it so far. No presents from my dh, my kids or my parents and I doubt my siblings will even bother or remember! I dont want much just a small token gift, like some flowers or a bottle of wine to show that I was thought about for more than the time it takes to pick up a card.
I take time to pick out nice presents for everyone but when it comes to me nobody seems to bother Sad. Dh treated himself to a new fancy mp3 player last week and his birthday was 6 months ago but all I get is a card!

OP posts:
Longdistance · 22/09/2012 16:27

Awww, that's shitty.

Happy Birthday!

Thanks Wine and chocs :)

IKilledIgglePiggle · 22/09/2012 16:36

Happy Birthday OP.

I'm an only child and even though I have three DCs I still expect a small pile of presents on my birthday and I would kick up a right fuss if I didn't get any........ I try to make everyone else's birthdays special........and I'm a spoilt mard arse Wink

Allalonenow · 22/09/2012 16:48

McPie, what you need is Swedish Glacé dairy free and gluten free iced dessert from Sainsbury's, and I'm sure a browse through the "free from" shelves would provide a cake too. Get organised for next year !!

ChaoticismyLife · 22/09/2012 16:49

Happy Birthday McPie Thanks Wine

YANBU

OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 22/09/2012 16:52

I don't think you should suffer in silence over this, otherwise what happened today will happen every year. I agree with DontmindifIdo's tactic - that should do the trick!

Oh and if money isn't a problem, get online and order yourself something nice. I know it's not the same, but you should do it anyway.

conantg · 22/09/2012 16:57

You are at least as important to your family as any of the other members eg DH and you deserve to be treated as such. Stop putting up with it, don't sulk, THROW THE MOTHER OF ALL TANTRUMS!!! He needs to be told.

StuntGirl · 22/09/2012 17:04

Aww McPie that's rubbish. Happy Birthday!

I think there are two approaches to birthdays: does the birthday person like birthdays? If yes then knock yourself out with cards, presents, parties, etc. Does the birthday person dislike a fuss on birthdays? If so then don't make a fuss! Your own feelings on birthdays are irelevant.

I LOVE birthdays and like to make a big fuss. However if the birthday boy/girl doesn't I restrain myself and just do the bare basics.

I'm sorry your husband has upset you like this. I would hope he has a moment of realisation today and manages to make some nice gesture to make up for it!

SauvignonBlanche · 22/09/2012 17:07

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY! Wine Thanks

Ullena · 22/09/2012 17:22

iiiiii

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Wine Thanks

Happy Birthday!

crashdollGOLD · 22/09/2012 17:27

Happy birthday! Thanks
Treat yourself to a glass or three of Wine and a few of these Biscuit

Numberlock · 22/09/2012 17:34

There is no excuse for this whatsoever. Husband should have sorted it before he left for work. End of.

OP - give it to him with both barrels, don't pretend it's ok, it isn't.

And why is everyone else even engaging with the troll?

Viviennemary · 22/09/2012 17:38

Well tbh I can't be bothered with adults who think folk should make a fuss of their birthdays. If I get a few cards then I'm happy somebody's remembered if I don't then too bad I wouldn't shed any tears over it. Buy yourself a nice treat for your birthday. That's what I do anyway even if I get a few presents.

valiumredhead · 22/09/2012 17:39

Happy Birthday [thins]

valiumredhead · 22/09/2012 17:39
Thanks
RuleBritannia · 22/09/2012 17:40

clairabella1

In a way, I agree with you. The OP was very fortunate to have even a card from her DH. I no longer have a DH grim reaper to blame but he is always in my thoughts so the OP should be thankful that she still has him and at least a card from him.

McPie

I wish you many happy returns and I hope you have a lovely surprise later on but, if you do not, just bear it.

You have three cakes offered here. May I have a slice, please?

oooohhhhyes · 22/09/2012 17:40

Happy Birthday!

I think your kids should be told by you quite clearly that you're upset and thus have the chance to learn to do something nice - at least paint you a picture and make a fuss of you. They may learn. Your husband is clearly never going to, so please don't buy him anything from you or kids for his bd in future. And if you can manage it financially, please order yourself whatever he should have bought you in an ideal world!

Thanks Wine [choc]

alisonsmum · 22/09/2012 17:41

Happy birthday op

Its my birthday today too

Happy birthday too you, happy birthday too you, happy birthday Mcpie, happy birthday too you

Numberlock · 22/09/2012 17:42

Viv Just because you think that doesn't mean everyone else in the world should have the same point of view. It's important to her, what's the big deal with her husband getting a bunch of flowers and box of chocolates? That would take half an hour to organise, tops.

She's hardly saying she expected flying to Paris for the weekend.

Joiningthegang · 22/09/2012 17:43

Oh no - I would be so gutted

I hope they didnt ask hat you wanted and you said - oh don't worry about presents - (not meaning it) so they didn't

Happy birthday x

NorksAreMessy · 22/09/2012 17:44

The trick here is to get proactive (no use for this year, but maybe worth it for Christmas)
I let it be known this yer that I WOULD like a fuss, and I do like presents, and breakfast in bed and a walk with the WHOLE family and surprises, especially homemade, cheap and thoughtful ones. I told EVERYONE this with a smile and had a lovely day. I was grateful as anything and felt not the slightest bit guilty.

Happy birthday mcpie Thanks

Viviennemary · 22/09/2012 17:44

I didn't mean to sound harsh. But it doesn't mean your family thinks any less of you or thinks about you any less because you don't get showered with gifts and cards. And some of the husbands I've known who have been generous with the flowers have gone on to pastures new.

Sallyingforth · 22/09/2012 17:48

Happy Birthday McPie!

I'm so sorry that you've not been treated as you deserve.
Why don't you go out tomorrow, buy yourself a nice big box of chocolates, wrap them up and leave them in a prominent place with a label "Happy Birthday to McPie". Then open it in a couple of days and eat them all yourself. He probably won't dare to ask why you did that, but he ought to get the message.

Numberlock · 22/09/2012 17:55

Viv There's an 11 year old son as well. How is it ok for him to think his mum doesn't deserve a present that he's arranged himself?

And even though he doesnt do presents, she should be grateful that her husband's not cheating?

DontmindifIdo · 22/09/2012 17:56

screaming row when he gets in, or sat crying. You pick, but you shouldn't just shrug this off and be 'the grown up' - he has hurt you, you need to make it clear, enough that this will always be remembered as "the year I forgot DW's birthday" and causes a shudder.

You are a family that do birthdays. So that's got to include everyone.

Numberlock · 22/09/2012 18:01

Screaming row not crying which could be construed as self pity and this is about him not you.

The 11 year old son also needs a few things pointing out to him.

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