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AIBU?

To be pissed off that nobody cares?

100 replies

McPie · 22/09/2012 09:07

Its my birthday today and I have a total of 3 cards to open and thats it so far. No presents from my dh, my kids or my parents and I doubt my siblings will even bother or remember! I dont want much just a small token gift, like some flowers or a bottle of wine to show that I was thought about for more than the time it takes to pick up a card.
I take time to pick out nice presents for everyone but when it comes to me nobody seems to bother . Dh treated himself to a new fancy mp3 player last week and his birthday was 6 months ago but all I get is a card!

OP posts:

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Fosgoldlady · 22/09/2012 14:30

Happy birthday from me, too.
It's horrible, isn't it? I've always made an effort for other birthdays, but 1st exh never did anything for mine - not even a card, and I used to get yelled at when i got upset. One year he even made out he'd ordered me something, i woke up all excited and asked him about my present to which he replied 'Oh, never got round to it' and rolled over in bed .
This year exh got a present from our daughter that I took her to choose for him (through gritted teeth - done purely for her). When I asked if there was a bag I shouldn't look in the visit to his before my birthday, one v upset dd, and one embarrassed exh that he never thought (again....) and turned up the following day with something he'd chosen and wrapped (complete in the poundstrechers bag.....). He never got that all I was hoping for that he'd take her to chose something - even a bag of sweets from the village shop - just something that was HER choice.......

Shouldn't really be suprised - it's how how hw was when we were together, too.....

Fosgoldlady · 22/09/2012 14:31

OMG - just re read that back -my standard of English is usually much better than that - oops!

Nancy66 · 22/09/2012 14:35

why no present from DH? That's shit....even if he is crap at buying presents he can give you a sodding voucher can't he?

i don't blame you for feeling upset.

BlackTieNTails · 22/09/2012 14:37

you sound a bit martyrish OP

maybe its time to start thinking about how to stop doing that .....

TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 22/09/2012 14:42

Happy birthday!!!

Have sum and

Hope your family come up with presses later on the day!

OrangeImperialGoldBlether · 22/09/2012 14:48

In what way does she sound martyrish? She sounds as though she is kind and generous and her husband and children are not. It doesn't mean she's a martyr to not like that.

TheGoldenKnid · 22/09/2012 14:50

Happy Birthday, McPie. :) YANBU!

DPotter · 22/09/2012 15:16

Happy birthday ! I'd add flowers & wine but don't know how

ElephantsCanCanCan · 22/09/2012 15:33

Happy Birthday!

BoffinMum · 22/09/2012 15:37

I think they're a bit neglectful on the present front. The answer is next year to organise your own birthday party so it's blardy obvious what the correct routine is!

Happy birthday, anyway.

BoffinMum · 22/09/2012 15:39

So, have you all come far?

unsureofthefuture · 22/09/2012 15:48

i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i
[///////////////////]
^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^
[\\\\\\\\\]

Supposed to be a birthday cake! happy birthday

Allalonenow · 22/09/2012 15:50

Happy Birthday, I hope your day has improved and you have enjoyed it.

I usually make sure I have got my self a little treat for the day, even a new nail varnish or some ice cream can lighten your mood, and cake is essential !!

NicholasTeakozy · 22/09/2012 15:59

Happy birthday!

McPie · 22/09/2012 16:01

Opened my cards (still have only 3 at nearly 4) £10 from my parent and nothing in dh's card so no surprise concert or vouchers for me. Have heard from nephew and one sister through facebook but have had no calls from anyone and have not heard from dh since first thing this morning.
I know its not the end of the world and I'm sorry that my feeling sorry/sad for myself this morning didn't go down well with some but I have spent the last 6 years as a sahm looking after all the wants and needs of my family and I expected to be worth at least a poxy bunch of flowers or a cheap bottle of wine like other years.
Even my spotty little lad commented that dh should have got me something rather than playing on the xbox!

OP posts:

McPie · 22/09/2012 16:03

Wish I could have cake and ice cream but my stupid body does not react well to wheat or dairy these days so would have to make my own!

OP posts:

fairtomiddling · 22/09/2012 16:04

I am always amazed by the number of posts on MN from mums who are the only person in the household to never receive anything on their birthday. I genuinely would not have believed this would happen - I'd just assume that either the entire family just didn't "do" birthdays for anyone, or everyone would get presents on their birthday - I was gobsmacked to find that in some families, mum sorts out the presents for every birthday and doesn't get anything for her own. :( How bloody unfair! There are some husbands out there who need a massive kick up the arse.

missmapp · 22/09/2012 16:04

Happy Birthday!!!

It is my birthday aswell today, and although DH remembered, I had already told him not to get anything this year as things are a bit tight- still didnt stop me feeling a bit hard done by this morning with nothing to open!!

Instead, i went for a good run this morning and then read my book for half an hour ( things that I enjoy, but dont always get time to do) so felt 'treated'- is there something that you enjoy that you could do today?

Enjoy, and I hope your dh feels suitably guilty- khama is coming for him!!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 22/09/2012 16:08

Happy birthday McPie!

And happy birthday missmapp too!

DontmindifIdo · 22/09/2012 16:09

YANBU - that's shoddy behaviour.

I would smile and ask DH if he's saving your pressie for after the DCs are in bed or is it something you can open now, and where is it? (big wide eyes)

If he says, "I haven't got you anything" laugh - "don't be silly, where's my present?" point out that you got him a present for his birthday.

I would then throw the mother of all tantrums - point out you get everyone else gifts, including him. He's supposed to love you, why doesn't he care? Etc.

He won't dare forget again.

(Sulking only works if you have properly pointed out what you are sulking about, otherwise you are just in a mood)

Safire · 22/09/2012 16:16

Claireabella, have you never heard of the saying that when you are dowm to your last two coins, with one buy bread to feed your body and with the other hyacinths to feed your soul?

Take it from me as one who knows firsthand, even people without much hope in life appreciate a tiny bit of recognition. Some people need gifts, no matter how small, to feel validated.

Read "The 5 Love Languages" and crawl back under your rock. The rudeness of some people on MN is beyond belief.

Thumbwitch · 22/09/2012 16:18

Ha, just wanted to share this gem with you. DH still hasn't got me a present from back in July, but nor has his Mum - however, she mentions every now and then that if I see something I want, she will get it for me (She was going to take me shopping on my birthday but being quite pg, I didn't fancy trawling round the shops for something random, and didn't really know of anything I wanted). DH told her not to worry about it - I commented that this was a bit shit, just because he couldn't be arsed to get me a present, doesn't mean no one should - but his reason was "because it would make him look bad". I said he already looked bad - so he said no, it would make him look worse. Honestly?! He couldn't look any worse, IMO - his mum getting me a present doesn't affect his inability to do so in any way.

DH has taken his cues from his parents though - his Dad was shit at getting presents too, and his Mum never stood up for herself - so both her sons are equally shit at bothering to think about anyone other than themselves on the present front.

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coronalover · 22/09/2012 16:20

YANBU - that's really rough

maybe dh will bring you something home later? Either way you should get him to order a yummy takeaway of your choosing and a bottle of wine! and demand sole control of the tv remote for the evening

Happy Birthday

McPie · 22/09/2012 16:20

Happy birthday too missmapp. I wouldnt have minded if we were skint but there is money there and its not as if I wanted anything other than a token gift.
He has nothing at all for me as I asked when he phoned this morning (part of the reason I was reluctant to open my cards) so he knows how pissed I am at him. Hes had 12 months to think about it and my mum would have helped him if he couldn't get to where he needed to so there really is no excuse other than I am not as important in this house than I thought I was .

OP posts:

Safire · 22/09/2012 16:22

Sorry OP, happy birthday to you! Hope it rights itself somehow.

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