To be pissed off that nobody cares?

[McPie]

Its my birthday today and I have a total of 3 cards to open and thats it so far. No presents from my dh, my kids or my parents and I doubt my siblings will even bother or remember! I dont want much just a small token gift, like some flowers or a bottle of wine to show that I was thought about for more than the time it takes to pick up a card.
I take time to pick out nice presents for everyone but when it comes to me nobody seems to bother . Dh treated himself to a new fancy mp3 player last week and his birthday was 6 months ago but all I get is a card!

[Sallyingforth]

He wont bloody forget ever again

Fantastic! Well done McPie! You might even find that he takes you less for granted in other ways too.

[Thumbwitch]

Well done McPie! Fingers crossed it works for you next time. :)

[McPie]

Our talk was along the lines that my dad bought presents from/with us for my mum but he said his dads attitude was that shes your mum not mine so its what he grew up with!
I intend to change that now and an amount will be set aside for each child to pick something themself for each birthday which is something I'm sure they will love to do.
I bought myself a new coat (was looking for one anyway for winter so not much of a present), another pair of gym tights as I'm at classes most days and need more than 1 pair, a really nice necklace (which was going to be for my mums birthday but I really like it too) and a shed load of nice nail varnishes .
He wont bloody forget ever again

[BoffinMum]

PS I think most men need to go on giftwrapping courses. How come they can assemble enormous flat packs and yet a bit of paper folding is apparently beneath them? I MEAN, fellas, this is well rubbish.

[BoffinMum]

OP, don't be a martyr about this. Sit DH calmly down and tell him it hurts your feelings and sets a bad example to the kids. That's all he should need.

[BoffinMum]

Ultimately it comes down to whether an individual really minds about birthdays. If they do, and their spouse is oblivious, then something is wrong there. In terms of presents, how hard can it be for most men to think "I had better be nice about her birthday as she clearly minds about it" and get a little something, even if there's very little spare money. For example I was looking for stocking fillers on the Poundland website yesterday and I saw really good beaded make up bags, photo frames, decent scented candles, evening scarves, hardback books and so on, that probably 99% of women would think were appealing and enjoy. It ain't hard or expensive to get right. However many men think they are exempt from keeping kin and they need to get a grip.

[Numberlock]

Have you told him Christmas is on 25th December this year, OP?

[HecateHarshPants]

ooh, I've had another idea, eats - you could tell him that you have decided to spend the same amount on him every year as he spends on you! You could tell him either on the run up to his birthday or on the run up to yours

[HecateHarshPants]

I agree, numberlock.

man gets gifts. children gets gifts. assorted relatives get gifts. woman gets Sweet FA and is supposed to be happy about it.

If nobody did gifts, fair enough. If it was kids only, fair enough. But everyone gets a treat on their birthday except one person - it's SHIT.

[HecateHarshPants]

Eatssleepsfeeds - then don't do anything for his next birthday. You 'spoil' him year after year, yet every year he fails to do anything for you - and you just carry on spoiling him on his birthday, accepting that come yours, you'll be in tears because he hasn't thought of you at all.

TAKE CONTROL!

'Forget' his birthday. 'Forget' it every year. If he dares to make a fuss, point out it's not a big deal, after all, he never remembers yours...

[Numberlock]

Christ, my ex husband makes more effort than most of the husbands on this thread! A card and bottle of wine or chocs or flowers. Same at Christmas and mothers day.

Because I'm the mother of his kids and he's a decent person. What message are these men sending to their kids about the woman's importance in family life,, either as an individual, wife or mother?

[Thumbwitch]

McPie - glad you had a talk with him. But FGS don't let him do Christmas or your children are going to be bloody miserable - they'll be lucky to get a present each!

I asked DH what we should think about getting DS for his 5th birthday this year, and Christmas - they're a few weeks apart - and he said "you've got that dragon toy for him, what else does he need?" One present, that cost the equivalent of £24, to cover two major events?! He's cracked (we're not hard up, btw)

[eatssleepsfeeds]

I really do know where you're coming from. I always makes sure hubby is spoilt on his birthday but I'm lucky if I even get a card on mine. We've not much spare cash - I don't expect a present. All I want is a card with a nice, soppy message in it. I've cried on previous birthdays when I've not even had that. He must know it matters to me but he still 'forgets' most years. It really, really upsets me. X

[MildredIsMyAlterEgo]

Happy Birthday McPie

mackemmam For his birthday you should do no more than text him a lovely photo of yourself enjoying a nice pampering luxury weekend away

[Fosgoldlady]

Glad you had the talk. Suggest 2 weeks before buy yourself a MASSIVE card saying Happy Birthday in huge letters and in black marker pen write on the front 'ME IN TWO WEEKS TIME!!!!!'

[McPie]

Big talk has been had and he has been told that even a 99p bottle of my favourite shower gel would have been gratefully received and that extravagance is not required. A small bit of thought and a little bit of time would have made my day so much better. Promises have been made and lets hope he keeps them or he will be the one in control of birthdays and christmas .

[mackemmam]

Happy birthday OP. Have a few glasses of wine and some chocolate. If it helps my DH 'booked' a luxury weekend away for me for my 40th then cancelled it because he couldn't afford it after I had shown all my friends the brochure. Re-booked it for my 41st last year and cancelled it again! Not sure what I'll do for his 40th next year!

[MammaTJisWearingGold]

I had no pressies on my Bd due to tax credits fuck up skintendness and have just brought subject up to stony response!! I feel your pain!

[butterfingerz]

Happy birthday OP, may I suggest some nice dark chocolate via Hotel Chocolat? We are also a dairy free household. Hope you had a jolly few glasses of wine tonight. My DH makes me buy my own bday pressie, with his money of course but not very romantic!

[DontmindifIdo]

keep angry, you need a good old sulk - I would suggest at least a week on this one. Tell everyone that DH forget to get you anything for your birthday and then got emergancy flowers. Ideally, tell MIL...

[CremeEggThief]

Very late to this thread, but Happy Birthday, OP.
and .

[BreconBeBuggered]

I really hope you've got yourself a nice bottle of wine and whatever you like to go with it. Have it in the bath with a good book later and make sure you lock the door. Unless DH has decided to take you out somewhere nice...?
It's important to appreciate our loved ones when they're with us. Of course YANBU to feel this isn't happening today.

[ReindeersGoldenBollocks]

Actually if OP always makes a big effort to get nice presents for her family then it would appear that a lack of thought or consideration for her, as shown in no presents is a big deal.

It's not on par with the tragedies of the world, but it's not nice to know that your birthday isn't an important occasion for your loved ones.

Glad you got flowers but you are right to be upset. Happy birthday

[Numberlock]

Keep that anger simmering nicely, OP.

[McPie]

Dh turned up with a bunch of flowers which felt slightly forced but hey its better than what I was going to be getting.
Mil turned up just after I let rip at dh so I had to simmer down and play nice. Will sit happily with a bottle of wine and watch whatever I want on tv and to hell with my diet plan for one night.
Would love to go out in the morning but ds1 has a rugby tournament and dh is going with him.