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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have fallen asleep and not replied

95 replies

Justhadenough · 15/09/2012 22:34

Last night I was sitting here mumsnetting being very productive. All the DCs were in bed. DH had locked the doors and I had told him I would come up in a minute. SIL (DHs sister) text me asking could she come and visit. She visits a lot at night, because she says it's easier for her.
I said no we were all in bed. I then fell asleep on my chair Blush
DH left me where I was. So I didn't wake up till this morning. I had 9 missed calls and 16 messages from SIL most of them telling me to call her back soon.
I rang her back and told her I was sorry, I had fallen asleep.
She said I was rude for doing so and she wanted to come. I said I was sorry, I really didn't mean too. She told me to get lost and she wouldn't ask me again she would ask DH from now on.
I feel really bad now, because she is upset. But at the same time I didn't do it on purpose.
So AIBU?

OP posts:
mamalovesmojitos · 15/09/2012 22:36

YANBU. Unless there was some emergency I am absolutely shocked that she left all those calls and messages. She sounds a bit nutty. Don't dare feel a moment of guilt.

ChasingSquirrels · 15/09/2012 22:37

Yanbu
You had already said no, she was being rude and unreasonable in not accepting that, and even more so in her responses today

BigRedCheeks · 15/09/2012 22:37

YANBU what time does she like to come round??? If you are all in bed or going to bed its quite rude to expect to come over I would think! Would she have expected you to stay up just for her?

ilovesooty · 15/09/2012 22:38

YANBU. And I wouldn't have any contact with her until she apologises. I'd expect your husband to back you up too.

MinnieBar · 15/09/2012 22:38

She does sound a bit OTT. But we need more detail - what was the actual time?

Imnotaslimjim · 15/09/2012 22:39

Wow, she's a bit pushy isn't she? What time of night did she text and ask? I'm assuming after 10 if you were already heading to bed

You'd already said no and that you were in bed. I think it was very rude of her to then complin that you went to sleep, its what people in bed generally do! Would she have expected you DH to get up if she'd asked him?

squeakytoy · 15/09/2012 22:39

Have you posted about the SIL coming at night before? YANBU at all. It would piss me off massively, she sounds selfish and inconsiderate.

Your husband needs to deal with her and tell her to sort herself out.

AgentZigzag · 15/09/2012 22:39

The way you're really apologetic probably gives your SIL the idea that you're at her beck and call.

She's a fucking cheeky mare though! Shock

She's going to go over your head to ask your DH whether she can come round? Is that right? And she's fucked off you told her you were all in bed?

Don't feel bad, and it might do some good if you lay down some boundaries with your very entitled SIL, 9 missed calls and 16 messages is stalker like.

Not even stalker like, she's fucking stalking you.

Ilovedaintynuts · 15/09/2012 22:39

Really? She's obviously bonkers if what you've described happened.
I would distance myself and create some boundaries which she needs to respect.

Craftymoo · 15/09/2012 22:40

YANBU. You said you were all ready to go to sleep, very unreasonable of her to keep asking I think (unless there was an emergency, which I assume there wasn't).

Original poster
Justhadenough · 15/09/2012 22:41

She usually comes round at 11 ish. Atfer her DCs have gone to bed. She would of expected me to stay up because I don't work.

OP posts:
BigRedCheeks · 15/09/2012 22:42

Some SIL can be bloody odd. Mine went through a phase of ringing my DH everyday at work for no particular reason other than to chat! She is his brothers wife so not even related to him iykwim. He had to tell her to stop!

lifeisfuckinggreat · 15/09/2012 22:43

WTAF? How dare she be so rude? She sounds utterly dreadful and entitled. YANBU you should be angry that she's spoken to you that way.

BigRedCheeks · 15/09/2012 22:43

11? Moronic woman.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 22:43

Yes this is all your fault.

How dare you fall asleep at night time when you should be at the beck and call of your SIL.

Bad form OP...I wouldn't blame her if she never spoke to you again Grin

Seriously she sounds bonkers.

Original poster
Justhadenough · 15/09/2012 22:43

Sorry it was 11:20 when she asked.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 15/09/2012 22:43

Your DH was BU to leave you to sleep on the chair all night as well (unless you prefer it that way).

BigRedCheeks · 15/09/2012 22:44

Just Say No!

lovebunny · 15/09/2012 22:44

just, whilst its sometimes nice to have a visitor while the children are in bed, your sil is being very mean and dare i say it, controlling, to insist upon visiting and to make such a fuss when you're too tired to get back to her.

you need to, and i mean this nicely, grow a pair.
and she needs to realise she isn't centre of the universe.

DoMeDon · 15/09/2012 22:44

" She would of expected me to stay up because I don't work." WTAF? Cheeky mare indeed Agent

STOP saying sorry. I would have called and asked WHY she called, left so many messages. What does your DH say? Is ther some other issue happening? ODD

Original poster
Justhadenough · 15/09/2012 22:45

worraLiberty - Grin

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 15/09/2012 22:45

I would not let anyone come round at 11pm at night unless it was an emergency.

She needs telling very clearly that she is not welcome.

Ignore all phone calls after 7pm maybe. Unplug the landline. Switch mobiles off. Tell her that you will NOT be available.

BigRedCheeks · 15/09/2012 22:45

What does she talk about at that time of night? Does she expect you to make her tea too?

TramadolJacket · 15/09/2012 22:46

Why is it easier for her to go to yours at night? Also why did she not phone your dh when you didn't answer the phone?

Sorry for the questioning, from what you have said, yanbu.

PooPooOnMars · 15/09/2012 22:46

Do you want her coming round at that time? Do you ever say no? Do you want to?