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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nearly in tears at the school gates , bullied by a teacher !

115 replies

sadalot · 29/05/2012 22:53

I am taking my two children and my dh on a much needed holiday after half term. My dd is autistic and have received some money onwards a holiday. The deputy head granted me 5 days holiday. My son is in year 3 and I have now been told that he will miss 15 tests in that week and that they will not be able to take the tests this week or when he comes back. I have also been told that by missing all these tests he will go down a set. The head of year 3 started shouting at me in the playground and then told me she had to go because she had 20 children waiting for her in a after school club. I felt like crying, I play a big part in my children's education and I feel like shit because I am taking them on holiday. I pay for extra tuition for both my children and they are generally happy at school. WWYD next?

OP posts:
MarasmeAbsolu · 29/05/2012 22:55

complain for being shouted at. This is not on.

DailyMailSpy · 29/05/2012 22:55

Complain to the head teacher that she shouted at you? Did other parents in the playground hear?

Cassettetapeandpencil · 29/05/2012 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Firawla · 29/05/2012 22:56

The head teacher has granted it so surely this teacher should not be harrasing u about it, as it's already been arranged.

I think best thing you can do, just forget about the teacher and put it out your mind, and just go and have the holiday and enjoy it.

If, when you do come back, then the teacher starts moaning about moving down sets etc then deal with it at the time but she may not actually do so?

VolvoMo · 29/05/2012 22:56

What was she shouting about? Is your holiday at HT or after HT (as written). 15 tests in a week, is that possible? Need a bit more info before commenting.

Disappearing · 29/05/2012 22:57

Speak to the deputy head, or suggest to the teacher that she does, you didn't know about the tests at the time, the deputy head should have known and informed you. She's being unprofessional, and it should not be necessary for your DS to go down a set, it sounds like she's using this to punish him.

Fecklessdizzy · 29/05/2012 22:59

She shouldn't be bawling you out in public and that goes double if the school has OK'ed the time off, I'd complain!

avivabeaver · 29/05/2012 23:01

go back to the headteacher

tell him/her what class teacher said.

ask whether your child would be moved down a set because of illness? If he missed a week due to illness, would they move him?

leave them to it and enjoy your holiday.

Angelico · 29/05/2012 23:03

Sorry to hear that OP. You had permission to take DC and the teacher should not have shouted at you in the playground - totally unprofessional - so I would definitely complain BUT...

The other side is that it is really maddening when kids miss tests. I'm a teacher and have actually said before that I don't see the harm in parents taking kids out for last week of school when it's all activities etc going on. When it is exam week it is a PITA when kids disappear off so I suspect the teacher is pissed off at the extra hassle. If they are external tests (SATS? I'm secondary so don't know primary system) might be impossible to re-arrange, if they are internal it is bollocks to say the tests can't be done at a different time, they can it's just a nuisance.

I would speak to the Deputy head if he / she seemed nice and sympathetic and if you are going to take kids out in termtime definitely check next time if it is an exam week.

And I hope this doesn't become another fucking boring bunfight thread about the rights and wrongs of taking kids out in TT, brings the mentalists out of the woodwork this stuff does...

Angelico · 29/05/2012 23:04

And forgot about the set bit, they should be able to determine set on your DS's work throughout year, not just exams (although exams do make it easier).

lisad123 · 29/05/2012 23:07

Year 3 tests? Seriously they aren't important at that age and teacher should not have yelled at you Angry
Enjoy your holiday, there isn't anything else you can do now anyways

Original poster
sadalot · 29/05/2012 23:09

Thanks everyone. I am going in tomorrow and make an official compliant. My dh does get on with the head and wants to make an appointment to see her as well. I really like this school - 764 applications made in 2011 for 30 reception places, it is generally a good school.
15 tests in one week ! I am going to ask the specifics of these tests. Are they having me on.

OP posts:
MagicHouse · 29/05/2012 23:16

As a teacher what you went through sounds unbelievably unprofessional, rude and odd. Your holiday has already been agreed, so the school have been aware of the timing since then. You have a very good reason for going. It is THEIR responsibility to arrange assessments for your son. 15 tests in one week also sounds very peculiar for Year 3 - how stressful - I think I'd be glad he was missing that!
I would calmly put your feelings in writing and see what happens. (Mention that the holiday has been authorised, but no-one told you he would be missing assessments when you had the authorisation. Also mention the funding for the holiday for your dd. I'd also be tempted to say that 15 tests in one week sounds very difficult for children in Year 3 and that you are concerned they set groups based on one stressful week!)

Original poster
sadalot · 29/05/2012 23:19

Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better

OP posts:
lesstalkmoreaction · 29/05/2012 23:21

Ask for copies of the tests and offer to do them on holiday under exam conditions.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 29/05/2012 23:23

Year threes just don't do 15 tests in one week surely? That's ridiculous! Ignore her, and try not to worry, she was just exercising her "power" and being very rude about it. If these tests if they exist were so all fired important, the school would never have okayed the holiday time!

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 29/05/2012 23:26

Brew caffeine free or Wine

just repeat to her ... it has been authorised by the deputy head.

he is only going to be in y3 for about 6 more weeks and there does not seem to be much done in the last week if you count sports days/leaving day. he will not suffer for not having taken the tests. you are filling the gaps with a tutor.

being shouted at by a teacher is not on. of course it is upsetting. feeling like crying is probably better than shouting back as you have the moral high ground.

AnyoneforTurps · 29/05/2012 23:27

For the love of god, he's 8, not 18. Time enough to do tests when he is older.

I would complain firstly about the shouting and secondly about the threat to move him down a set if he does not do the tests. That sounds punitive and is very unprofessional - is she saying that she would knowingly move him down a set and impair his education to punish you?

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 29/05/2012 23:31

She is obvously under pressure or a crap person...NO excuse...do NOT let some unproffesional idiot spoil your holiday. She owes you an apology! I would ask to speak to the HT and tell her you feel worried about this incident. Saying that you don't want to spend half term thinking about it either!

You could decide to simply let the silly cow feel bad on her own and forget her...you have your permission and your son is SEVEN! Go on your holiday and remember he will have a new teacher soon anyway!

PooshTun · 29/05/2012 23:44

OP - I might be wrong but my reading of your post suggest that you've decided for whatever reason to take DC on holiday during term time and you weren't happy that the teacher wasn't prepared to be more flexible with regards to DC taking the exams when she returns.

If that is the case then its a bit unreasonable to expect the school to schedule 15 tests just for DD because you chose to take her out during term time. If I was that teacher and you collared me in the playground and repeatedly pressed me on the matter then I would be a bit irritated as well.

mistlethrush · 29/05/2012 23:48

PooshTun - read the thread - and the OP before posting!

skybluepearl · 29/05/2012 23:57

Rude teacher. How silly to move you son down a set too. She must really know where he sits in the class ability wise.

bobbledunk · 29/05/2012 23:58

What a nasty bitch, hope you make a complaint and demand an apology, she had no right to do that and was very nasty and unprofessional. From now on complain about her every time she gives you the slightest hassle. She only behaved like that because she believes she can get away with it, give her hell.

A nice family holiday is more important than a few stupid kiddie tests, fgs what planet are these teachers on? Hope you enjoy your break, sounds like you deserve oneSmile

PooshTun · 29/05/2012 23:59

read the thread - and the OP before posting!

Thanks for the tip mistle. I knew that I was doing something wrong. The next time I'll be sure to read a OP before actually posting to the thread.

[place holder for "sarcasm" emoticon]

giraffesCantFitInThePalace · 30/05/2012 00:01

year 3? Important tests worth shouting about? 15 in one week?! Sounds like a fucking hellish week for a 7/8yr old. (In Scotland so not sure what age yr 3 is, assume similar to primary 3)

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