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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nearly in tears at the school gates , bullied by a teacher !

115 replies

sadalot · 29/05/2012 22:53

I am taking my two children and my dh on a much needed holiday after half term. My dd is autistic and have received some money onwards a holiday. The deputy head granted me 5 days holiday. My son is in year 3 and I have now been told that he will miss 15 tests in that week and that they will not be able to take the tests this week or when he comes back. I have also been told that by missing all these tests he will go down a set. The head of year 3 started shouting at me in the playground and then told me she had to go because she had 20 children waiting for her in a after school club. I felt like crying, I play a big part in my children's education and I feel like shit because I am taking them on holiday. I pay for extra tuition for both my children and they are generally happy at school. WWYD next?

OP posts:

Longtalljosie · 30/05/2012 08:07

I would put this in writing, I think. Including the threat to drop your child a set because of a holiday the deputy head has approved. Suggest that there has been a breakdown in communication, and that if your DD going down a set was an inevitable consequence of 5 days holiday, the time to mention that would have been in March.

seeker · 30/05/2012 08:09

Go in this morning and ask the head teacher what's going on. I'm sure the 15 tests in a week thing is a misunderstanding or an exaggeration- honestly- 3 a day for a week? Surely not. And anyway, there must be some leeway in the system to allow for illness. For a HT to have granted a week's holiday in the current OFSTED climate means the op must have had a very strong case- and the class teacher would have known in advance about it. And arranged to test the op's child in the way she would somebody who had appendicitis in test week.

exoticfruits · 30/05/2012 08:22

Generally if they miss tests you can fit them in-it is fairly simple.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/05/2012 08:25

Op, I was with you until you said that the school has had plenty of time to rearrange the tests. Why should the tests be rearranged just for you Yao go on holiday!?

I don't think so.

If you want to take your child out of school in term time, that's your perogative, but don't expect the teachers to like it, and certainly don't expect them to do do any rearranging or extra work on your behalf. I'm with the school that that is test week, and it should notbe rearranged.

The teacher shouldn't have shouted, that was clearly wrong and very unprofessional. But I wouldn't have a problem with a teacher making the point to you that it was far from idea, and I wouldn't be surprised if she got a bit narked if you were expecting special arrangements to be made for you.

exoticfruits · 30/05/2012 08:25

A DC could easily be ill for the week.

exoticfruits · 30/05/2012 08:26

As a teacher, if I knew OP circumstances, I would be quite happy to do the tests when they get back.

AChickenCalledKorma · 30/05/2012 08:30

If my children were at a school that thought it was reasonable to set 15 tests in one week, for 8 year olds and scheduled them for the week after half term and based the entire ability grouping on those test (as opposed to, say, the ability of the children as demonstrated over the course of the whole year) ... I would be seriously considering looking at other schools.

Especially if I was also having to pay for extra tuition for my children (presumably because they are not learning enough at school?)

tiggytape · 30/05/2012 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 30/05/2012 08:53

I thought that it was the first time OP had heard about the tests-so she wasn't expecting special treatment.

Floggingmolly · 30/05/2012 09:03

Op, did you actually mention to the teacher that she "should have plenty of time to reschedule the tests"? This could have put her back up a bit, as it comes across as rather entitled.

Apologies if I'm wrong.

NeverHaveIEver · 30/05/2012 09:20

If it's school policy to place children based on the results of these tests and you have chosen to take a holiday during the tests, then YABU to expect the school to reschedule. As a teacher, I have to schedule time for marking into my work day. Once that time has passed, I have some other work scheduled. Two students informed me the other day that they were going on hols during exam week and they would sit them during their summer break. I pointed out that I would be unavailable to mark them, as it's my summer break too.

I think we're not getting the full story, OP. Who instigated the conversation in the playground? The teacher was, of course, U for shouting at you, but then I feel it's unprofessional to have a conversation with a parent in the playground unless it's about the weather.

manicbmc · 30/05/2012 09:38

That is irrelevant though. The time off was sanctioned anyway. They are year 3 tests and therefore not nationally rated ones, just assessments, and 15 is way too much in the space of a week in year 3.

If there was a problem with the date, then that should have been pointed out back in March when permission was first applied for.

Original poster

sadalot · 30/05/2012 09:39

If my children are happy working at McDonald's then I am happy, but I want to give them the choice. I am not a snob, my dad was a taxi driver until last year a stroke nearly killed him. Thanks for all the responses as we are a democratic country last time I looked.
This morning while talking to a TA that I get on with she told me that miss ##### did this a couple of years a go. The boy in question was demoted from set one to set three because he missed these 15 tests. She is not going to get away with this again.
The class teacher was told at the same time as the deputy. The teacher that has a bee in her bonnet is the Head of year 3 - she told me she is the phase leader. She loves power you can tell. While miss ##### was shouting at me my dd was getting upset and put her hands on her ears. She gets upset when she hears shouting probably because of her ASD.

OP posts:

lovesthesun · 30/05/2012 09:48

If your kids have a thriving career in mcdonalds-great. At least they are working. Enjoy your holiday, you probably need it more than ever after some of these posts.

Original poster

sadalot · 30/05/2012 09:51

This is a state school who has a brilliant head who is getting on a bit.i can see a lot of vultures looking at her job and I think one of them is miss #####.

OP posts:

manicbmc · 30/05/2012 09:52

Can you put a complaint in writing to the governors? They'd be on the interview panel.

tiggytape · 30/05/2012 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannyl · 30/05/2012 09:58

why would they change is set due to tests he hasnt taken?

how rediculouse

at 16 years old when i got run over and nearly died during my GCSE exams, I missed 8 days of exams while in high dependancy (and took the rest when on a normal ward in hospital) and almost all the exam boards managed to grade me even when i didnt take the GCSE exam....

if exam boards can do that for proper actual exams that count until you have A Levels and a degree then how can it matter for a child in year 3?

JoannaFight · 30/05/2012 10:04

I've had 3 dc go through yr3 and I can't recall a time when there were 15 tests in one week In fact 15 tests sounds a lot for one week whichever year at junior school you look at.

The teacher's issue is with whoever sanctioned the leave.

manicbmc · 30/05/2012 10:06

The issue isn't that they should have rescheduled the tests, it is that they should have mentioned when the tests would be when the time off was asked for. That way the OP could have taken the holiday a week later. But they didn't.

Original poster

sadalot · 30/05/2012 10:06

I am so sorry to hear that nanny1 that you had accident then xxxxxxx

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 30/05/2012 10:08

I still don't see the problem with the child dropping down a set.

So the yr3 teacher drops him down

The yr4 teacher will obviously realise he's in the wrong set and move him accordingly.

No matter what the test results are, kids are always shuffled about after the first half term is over.

tiggytape · 30/05/2012 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 30/05/2012 10:10

manicbmc. Or she could have taken the holiday a week earlier, during half term. If there was actually choice over the timings, then the whole thing was completely avoidable.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/05/2012 10:11

Maybe they hadn't scheduled the test week back in March, and have decided more recently that that week is the one that will suit them best. It would be fine for them to have done that, they can't be expected to arrange test week around someones holiday!

OP, can you clarify whether you did expect the school to allow your ds to take the tests at another time, or if you were prepared to accept that he would miss them?

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