AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

We shall have to defrost Wilkins and I think cook is in suspended animation in the science wing. Probably the best place for her, on second thoughts.

Now, what gels died and got poured away? I have quite forgot. I do hope they haven't Returned Undead.

Misses Sybil and Honey I believe. Well, they were fast pieces and covered themselves in opprobrium. I think that was what did for them in the end.

Sea Log:
Am having larks fleecing the gentlemen. All those hours with the blacksmith being ruddy cheeked and perfecting my technique are paying off.

No, Hully their essence lives on, by way of a special tincture in the herb drying shed. You helped distill it with your own fair hands < you were quite mad at the time, but no matter>. We can sucuss them whenever we wish to raise their potency

(stirs gently under canopy of webs over chaise longue...eyes flicker over alabaster arm...still parfait! zut! what noises I hear!)

has anyone checked the cellar? the attics? where is my page, d'Ess? has he run feral?

has anyone checked the cellar? the attics? where is my page, d'Ess? has he run feral?

I think we should have a Spring Clean. Twill do us all good to banish the cobwebs and brighten our souls. Now, where are the staff that we might order them forth with feather dusters? I do hope Mimi's page isn't fomenting revolution below stairs again. Such a firebrand he is.

Mimi's page has been turned< runs away>

Paaaaarrrrrrrrp.

Hello darling Widow! It's been so long. Have you been through many husbands?

oh undoubtably many. and most not her own. shameless hussy. 'ow i have missed her!

and a wink of complicity to mini. how i rearn for a plate of madelaines! and some lime tea? anyone? blast that dratted child. how i regret rescuing him from the sewers of Paris!

At last, dear Ladies, we are back at the Hall! Or is Miss Sybil still laid flat by her travails with the pirates? I was delayed at the dock by some rather rough-looking stevedores who insisted on inspecting my luggage.

But now, joy, I shall run to the distillery herb-drying shed to assess our stocks of tisanes and possets. Some must be fair mature by now.

Miss Sybil alas is little more than a tincture now. She is bottled in that small green flask on the top shelf. Be careful when releasing the stopper, the odour is not an olfactory confection.

Many husbands, dears, many husbands. Would that the poor things had a little more stamina.

A little homeopathic tincture of Sybil might work wonders though. Perhaps I will test it on my next hapless fool amour .

Enough husbanding for now. What japes at the Hall? Who is in the cellar? How does Rochester? It appears Pag has not blacked the grate in a while. Have standards been allowed to slip?

standards have not so much slipped as slithered over the horizon.

It is a sorry state of affairs and oen that will take much redress and shriving.

How doth UmamiBoy? Has he matriculated?

UmamiBoy is away to the Dame School this coming Autumn, alas. And though it will leave me more time for husbanding, it brings other problems, not the least of which is that i told him he was not allowed to grow up, and he has flatly ignored me.

I will require a new barouche. I may have to take up bigamy to afford it.

For sooth, Umami, if you use essence of Sybil, you may be in for an inheritance. Problem solved. I have heard it is quite untraceable.

Ahem!

Goodness Miss Sybil, but has not something gone awry? You are growing waterliles from your most private rear garden.

How UmamiBoy has grown! To Dame school already! Is he familiar with algebra and fagging?

Yes, the water lilies are something of an inconvenience, but it's the way butterflies keep trying to eat me that's really starting to irritate.

I thought they were your sweet little pets, dear?

Oh dear. I don't think that using the spring that supplies all the water for the Hall for your rejuvenation rite was quite the best idea. We may have a water contamination problem.

I'll wager the sulky one on the left ends up working in our kitchen with her snarled lip. She could sour any posset.

Miss Syb how right you are that I thought only of youth and beauty when your name was mentioned. And indeed I was only trying to restore you, dear heart, after your sore travails with the pirates.

How lovely now to see you sprout.