AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

The shame, Mistress Mini - this sea air and sea motion has me all of a whirl. I must lie down in my cabin and partake of a posset.

Go steady with that posset Miss Fiddy I think you may have added too much of this although I am sure it is very good for seasickness and all manner of ague.

Fear not about my opinion of the house being messy, my standards are exacting and I only fainted twice. Please think no more about it.
I have been to a charming place today with sand dunes. Although I did have a coniption when the girl serving me tea, in a charmingly named kiosk, rubbed her hand all around, and in, my cup before serving me a beverage that one might have mistaken for sea water. Still the alarming price for that and 2 iced lollies brought me right around.
Should I be on a ship? I'm slightly muddled and am charming girl, Maud, is no help at all.

Tsk, that serving wench would ne'er do at the Hall. When we return you must oversee the staff, Miss Tufty. Too many maids swooning over Mr Rochester and our constant supervision of Cook have indeed led to a lowering of our standards. Cook is now in orbit, fortunately and unlikely to return.

We are indeed aboard the good ship IPOAT, en route to the Caribbean for a jaunt. We must make stops at Leeds, museums and at the French coast so that Mistress Jins can make for Paris in the barouche for her prayer and conversion work.

Yes I am having the pamphlets baled ready for the Parisians.

I hear that the ladies are very modest in the 18th arrondissement

Indeed, you will need an array of headwear, Mistress Jins, and some new calling cards.

The French are rumoured to have some odd habits. Pack plenty of parchment so that you may record any deviancy that we may be prepared warned.

I will invest in a new quill as well.

Are we there yet? I remember when we used to sit in the government yard in Princetown. Everything's gonna be alright.
There were two little birds on my doorstep this morning.

Our progress is too slow. I think we must leave the museums, push on, hoist sails and catch a fair wind to the islands. I believe Mistress Jins is not due in Paris until August so I suggest she stay aboard until then and use our new air-borne carriage to head to la France.

Indeed. Edifying though the museums have been I think it's time to spread the word in the islands.

I have heard of a new tatting technique and have arranged lessons with this man

Land ahead I say. Pour the daiquiries. Look out for pirates.

What a welcome at the docks! No sign of pirates yet but I have found us a dance instructor. Best not go near him holding a candle.

I can spy in my telescopic device that the pirates are battling the waves

I'm glad we are safely ashore

Phew. The cool-headed pirate chief seems to have it all under control.

Either they spend a lot of time like that or fish have greater purchasing power than I thought.

I have been taken by pirates. Send help.

We're on our way Be compliant valiant.

Don't worry Tufty. I've been taken by pirates more times than I can count and I've enjoyed every single time

And go easy on them. Last time we had pirates down at the cove near the Hall Miss Sybil and Mistress Jin wore them out so much that they sailed around Cape Horn just for a rest.

Yes pirates just aren't as durable as they used to be.

No need to hurry, it's all rather fun. They've even said they'll bring me out to the ship.

Get them to crack open the rum Tufty, it seems to help their stamina as it is very beneficial for the health. One of those rum drinks in a coconut with a mad twisty straw is the best according to my extensive research.

Sorry I have AWOL. I got trapped in the hold by the trunks of discarded petticoats. Fortunately I managed to sustain myself after coming across mistress Jins' crate of tisanes.

Oh no I nearly lost the fred. I am off to find a steel band.

I am treading water in the harbour whilst watching the Olympics with a very long telescope.

Can't ... pant ... stop ...I'm ... running ...