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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have never had an orgasm during sex?

92 replies

SamuelWestsMistress · 04/04/2012 20:16

Hmmm.

I've been with my DH since I was 17 and i'm 33 now. I had a few boyfriends before and DH and I split up briefly twice when I was in my early 20s for a couple of years in grand total, so I am not a stranger to the cock and have experienced probably 1/2 a dozen.

However I have NEVER had an orgasm during sex. Never even been close and none of the blokes I've ever been with have actually given me one because quite frankly it takes so bloody long!

Rampant Rabbit, however, is there in a flash.

Now it's even further away than ever as I've had 3 kids and it's last hotdog in the tin and all that jazz.

AIBU? I think I am. Or at least my fanjo-bob is. Why will I only climax with a rabbit shaped bit of vibrating rubber? (which, I should add, I have misplaced and haven't seen since before Christmas.)

Angry
OP posts:
lolajane2009 · 04/04/2012 20:18

thats not unusual tbh.

JustHecate · 04/04/2012 20:19

Well, I wouldn't say it's something that you're being unreasonable to not have had Grin It's not like you made the decision not to.

You need more foreplay. Really, you should be 'there' before penetration. Talk to your husband about it.

ParsleyTheLioness · 04/04/2012 20:19

It is known that The Rabbit reduces the sensitivity of one's lady bits. How long does it take you without, to give us more info?

cheesesarnie · 04/04/2012 20:19

leave the bastard Wink

ParsleyTheLioness · 04/04/2012 20:20

Hecate the voice of reason...I luffs Hecate

JustHecate · 04/04/2012 20:20

It apparently takes the 'average' woman 20 minutes. That's 20 minutes of focused attention. So, like I say. Foreplay.

JustHecate · 04/04/2012 20:21

Don't luff me on an orgasm thread. People will talk.

Grin
Tintinsginga · 04/04/2012 20:21

Foreplay - if it's done properly, should fix that.

CruciFlisspaps · 04/04/2012 20:24

Parsley I thought it was complete bollocks that using a vibrator made you 'less sensitive'? It's certainly never been an issue for me.

Mistress It's not unusual to not orgasm through penetrative sex. In fact, most women don't. It doesn't involve stimulating the right bit!

JasperJohns · 04/04/2012 20:25

What does your DH think about this most unsatisfactory arrangement OP?

He is just not trying hard enough Grin

lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 20:25

We need more information...

Can you only come with a rabbit, what about oral sex or foreplay?

It's not unusual to not come with sex alone as orgasm requires clitoral stimulation but if your dp cannot make you come at all then that would be a problem Grin

cheesesarnie · 04/04/2012 20:25

'Don't luff me on an orgasm thread. People will talk'.

this is why i love mn.

Goawaybob · 04/04/2012 20:27

"so I am not a stranger to the cock and have experienced probably 1/2 a dozen." Quote of the day!!! love it!

I don't cum from penetrative sex either. And i take AGES, so most times i either dont cum (im not actually bothered) or do myself, if however we have time, DP gets jaw ache Grin

Original poster
SamuelWestsMistress · 04/04/2012 20:27

Pfffffffffffft.

Takes about 10ish minutes maybe then I have a crapgasm. But at least a crapgasm is better than a nogasm. They're getting slightly crapper as time goes on too. I'm blaming the birth of DS2, everything else about my body has just gon EURGH sine then (that's been 2 years). But he has the CUTEST dimples ever so I can't be too cross...

I think DH has given up, I don't blame him to be honest I get bored of trying after about 20 minutes.

It's frustrating because sometimes I just want to be bent over and well...I'm sure you can guess the rest.

OP posts:
lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 20:30

Maybe you're trying too hard. Nothing like a bit of pressure to stop you from coming.

Any fantasies you can play (even in your mind) out that can help you along the way?

ParsleyTheLioness · 04/04/2012 20:32

So by that, you're twice as QUICK as the average woman...

Original poster
SamuelWestsMistress · 04/04/2012 20:32

Oh and he never achieves anything during foreplay either. Not even close. It takes too long then his arms get tired or he falls out of rhythm.

I know it's not his fault it's my VU Fanny.

Selfish.

I wan't amazing knee trembling sex like they have in books and stuffs. Never. Gonna. Happen.

OP posts:
lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 20:32

And I'm off to tell my dp I'm a lot quicker than average so to never complain Grin

TheLastHairyBunnyHop · 04/04/2012 20:33

I'm in a similar position to the OP, except, er, without the Rabbit if you get my drift Blush. Not a chance during penetration, but on my own with a bit of erotica I'm there in no time.

Problem is that foreplay doesn't do it for me either. I get so far and then get uncomfortable because it's just taking so long. Doesn't help that dh just lies there with his eyes closed and I'm not always sure that he's even still awake. (This is manual not oral as I don't like that.) I've tried reading the erotica beforehand, but not even that seems to help.

Am encouraged by the notion that it takes the average woman 20 minutes or something, but can I just ask - what does your OH actually do for those 20 minutes? The same thing or different things?

lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 20:33

Do you fancy him?

GoGoBananas · 04/04/2012 20:34

Try never having had one op.

SeaHouses · 04/04/2012 20:34

Do you mean you don't have an orgasm during the entire sexual encounter or that you don't have an orgasm during penetration?

Loads of women don't have orgasms during penetration.

I don't know why I'm commenting on this thread as I don't have a vibrator and am not entirely sure how they lead to an orgasm or how they are preferable to hands.

ParsleyTheLioness · 04/04/2012 20:34

Amazin knee trembling sex is usually with people you have not had long relationships with is more difficult with all the mundane life-stuff getting in the way.

curiositykitten · 04/04/2012 20:34

You are not alone. I've never orgasmed during sex. In fact, I've never orgasmed with a man. Only on my own, with a toy.

lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 20:35

To all those who don't orgasm, do you fake it?

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