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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have never had an orgasm during sex?

92 replies

SamuelWestsMistress · 04/04/2012 20:16

Hmmm.

I've been with my DH since I was 17 and i'm 33 now. I had a few boyfriends before and DH and I split up briefly twice when I was in my early 20s for a couple of years in grand total, so I am not a stranger to the cock and have experienced probably 1/2 a dozen.

However I have NEVER had an orgasm during sex. Never even been close and none of the blokes I've ever been with have actually given me one because quite frankly it takes so bloody long!

Rampant Rabbit, however, is there in a flash.

Now it's even further away than ever as I've had 3 kids and it's last hotdog in the tin and all that jazz.

AIBU? I think I am. Or at least my fanjo-bob is. Why will I only climax with a rabbit shaped bit of vibrating rubber? (which, I should add, I have misplaced and haven't seen since before Christmas.)

Angry
OP posts:
adriennemole · 04/04/2012 21:11

Yes awkward hard work but worth it Wink plus great exercise I have been known to recommend it to (close) friends!

chipsandmushypeas · 04/04/2012 21:12

Yanbu.

Have you seen where the clitoris is situated? Not terribly clever is it?

Hmm
victorialucas · 04/04/2012 21:14

How good is it when you DIY without the rabbit?

gobbledegook1 · 04/04/2012 21:15

Geeze this thread makes me feel so lucky.

I orgasm if I do it myself, I orgasm if my fella does it by hand, I orgasm through penetrative sex and if I've orgasmed at the hands of my fella prior to penetration I can even go on to have multiples.

Can't orgasm through oral - really doesn't do it for me and never successfully tried it up the arse as I found attempting it hurts and thats without stickle bricks!

Heavensmells · 04/04/2012 21:16

Laughing my head off at "no stranger to the cock", "crapgasm" and "last hotdog in the tin". OP you have a genius way with words!

omydarlin · 04/04/2012 21:18

stickle bricks Confused

Heavensmells · 04/04/2012 21:21

Also sorry if I'm being a bit dim but I thought bumsex was all about the bloke.
Is it really easy to orgasm from it?

Whatmeworry · 04/04/2012 21:22

Would A Brio Thomas do it?

Aim for a Gordon or a Henry :o

VeniVidiVisa · 04/04/2012 21:27

OP - you are very, very funny Grin

But you don't seem too concerned about misplacing the rabbit. Where could it be? You don't just want it turning up one day in somebody's lunchbox or something.

YouChangeWithTheWeather · 04/04/2012 21:31

I think you are worrying about the wrong thing. Sod the orgasm - where is your rabbit Shock where have your children put it

Spuddybean · 04/04/2012 21:38

Weeell OP i have never orgasmed through penetrative sex alone. My orgasms are also very precarious. So there is no point 'being there' at the point of penetration as the moment the rhythm, pressure, angle of stimulation change i am back to square one (i read that women reach a plateau and once there can stay there for a while so any extra stimulation will give them orgasms - but that certainly isn't the case for me). I can be at the point of orgasm and DP can cough and it just disappears! Start all over again

I also am 'no stranger to the cock' (altho OP with only 12 under your belt i certainly wouldn't describe that as loads as i'm a scrubber who's had over 50 )

I did orgasm thru bumsex once (and even ejaculated Blush ) but the after effects of not being able to control my farts put me off trying it again!

If i use a toy it can take less than 30 seconds. So the only time i have orgasmed thru penetration is when using a toy at the same time and having watched something saucy with DP first - so i am very worked up.

We also have fetishes, so dress up and role play often too - which helps if you can clear your mind and immerse yourself in the situation.

Does your DP not mind you not orgasming?

nizlopi · 04/04/2012 21:40

Get a cock ring.

confusedpixie · 04/04/2012 21:43

I love this thread. Stickle bricks and Thomas

I find it extremely difficult to come through penetration so am curious for more ideas! It's only happened two or three times for me. I find it difficult to come through foreplay too, but I think foreplay is not my forte, I've never really done much of it.

lepetitchoufleur · 04/04/2012 21:49

ugh the big O. Yes my short attention spam / low boredom threshold can be a problem during sex too.
Although I don't really feel a need to always have an orgasm to have REALLY enjoyed sex. And yes you totally have to shut out the mundane life stuff!!!

TheSecondComing · 04/04/2012 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LentillyFart · 04/04/2012 21:49

Best thread. Ever. I'm having little lentilly farts laughing here!

Overcooked · 04/04/2012 21:58

But really, if you can't do it by hand, yourself, then no-one else stands a chance - perhaps a little practice and then 'showing' your DP how you do it yourself...

LadyBabsWalthamCuddles · 04/04/2012 22:01

I second that second. Can I also nominate you for most appropriate name on thread Grin

iismum · 04/04/2012 22:02

I'm the opposite way round to most posters. I've never come on my own or with a toy - don't really get that much pleasure from it, even. And other people's fingers never don't really do it for me either. But 5-10 minutes of oral or penetrative sex will do it for me every time. One after the other, preferably.

supernannyisace · 04/04/2012 22:03

Loving this thread.

I'll own up to being one of the 75% who don't get their rocks off during intercourse. I still like it a lot though :)

DH does alot of manual ;) oh and this is good

small and hide it in your make up bag

lepetitchoufleur · 04/04/2012 22:07

AS SEEN ON THE ALAN TITCHMARSH SHOW?!!!!

supernannyisace · 04/04/2012 22:07

I know. I just saw that glowing recommendation ...

Kind of put me off now!!

lalaland3008 · 04/04/2012 22:08

I think the reason that women can come with bumsex is the whole idea of doing it. Plus is feels like you're having a poo which also feels pretty good.

I doubt anyone would come from bumsex alone but it might mean the clitoros would only need to be touched rather than stimulated for a long time.

I think the key to orgasm is finding out what you like, for some women that might just be your dp and that would be enough. For others it might be porn, spanking, bondage roleplay, oral sex, giving or receiving. And once you're in the frame of mind it's easy peasy.

lepetitchoufleur · 04/04/2012 22:08

lol! He is quite fruity. I made the mistake of reading one of his novels once. Its a bit like hearing your uncle discuss sex. Cringe!

eurochick · 04/04/2012 22:09

You need to figure out which positions also stimulate your clit. On top, leaning forward? It depends on your and your DP's anatomy.