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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you if you have a favorite?

113 replies

my2centsis · 07/02/2012 20:29

Dc?

Dps parents quite clearly have a favorite, they have 5 children between them and I have Hurd them admit to having a favorite which they make time to see at least once a week were as their other children they see once a month!

Recently 3 different people have also admitted to me they also have favorite kids??

Is this normal? I have 2 dc and love them both more then words, I don't favor 1 over the other and love different things about each of them.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Kayano · 07/02/2012 20:31

My aunt had a favourite and totally messed up her kids. One sought affection and ended up with munchausens, and the favourite went her
Own way and was subsequently rejected and ignored by her parents for years Confused

aldiwhore · 07/02/2012 20:31

I think some people do. There's nothing wrong with feeling how you do, but there's everything wrong with showing it.

I can honestly say whichever child I think about is my favourite at the time I think about them... therefore, no favourite. I may well like one more than the other throughout the days depending on their behaviour/general cuteness, but on the whole, there's no competition - I have a schmushy bottomless bucket of love for each of them.

pjmama · 07/02/2012 20:32

My favourite changes on a daily basis, depending on which one is giving me the most grief! Grin

Levantine · 07/02/2012 20:35

I understand my ds2 more than I do ds1 but he is much more difficult. So not really a favourite thing, just a different relationship. I do feel differently about them.

Unlurked · 07/02/2012 20:35

I have 2 dc but do not have a favourite. I definitely find one of them easier to deal with than the other but that's down to their ages really. I'm sure when the little one is 3 the big one will be the 'easy' child!

I don't think my parents have a favourite although they have very different relationships with each of us. There's never been any jealousy.

JustHecate · 07/02/2012 20:35

No. I don't.

Does everyone have their sick buckets ready?

No?

Go get it. I'll wait.

Ready?

I have no end to the love for my children. It's impossible to favour one because there isn't an actual amount that I love either of them. I love them all of it Grin it's like infinity love.

Does anyone need a tissue?

Some mouthwash?

TheFeministsWife · 07/02/2012 20:43

Exactly what aldiwhore said. I don't have a favourite, they both delight me and frustrate me in equal measure. They are totally different and I am proud of both equally for the different things they achieve.

My mum has/had a favourite - me. I really feel for my sister most of the time because although my mum moans that she never sees my sister (hmm I wonder why Hmm) she never treated her the same way she treated me. It has effected my sister profoundly. Sad Although sometimes I envy her as she's free of my mother whilst I'm bloody stuck with her most of the time. Envy My dad never had/has favourite and treats up both the same.

BluddyMoFo · 07/02/2012 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 07/02/2012 20:46
Wretched · 07/02/2012 20:46

I dunno, dc2 is only 4 weeks old, so she hasn't made much of an impression yet behaviour wise!!

Seriously though, I cried when I found out I was pregnant, couldn't imagine loving another child as much as my pfb. My dd1 is my epic, my heart and soul. She was going to be an only as well.

All I can say is, all the people who told me I was being silly were right! My heart has got plenty of room for two, maybe more but DH thinks not! Loving having two kids at the moment, seeing them together makes me weep!

KittyFane · 07/02/2012 20:52

:o @ Hecate!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/02/2012 20:52

I love both my DCs but sometimes I don't like them or more correct to say don't like what they do>

My grandmother had favourites (my older sister and my oldest cousin) So my other cousin and I could do nothing right, even though we were the ones who did most for GM. My GM showed distinct favouritism to my Uncle over his younger sister (my mum).

GM was quite spiteful and hurtful to me, but I learned to ignore it and think F You. But obviously never said it. Blush

TattyDevine · 07/02/2012 20:52

I dislike both my children equally Grin

TattyDevine · 07/02/2012 20:54

No on a serious note I don't have a favourite, I have periods where I feel like I'm favouring one or the other (I'm not, its more developmental if that makes sense) because perhaps one needs to be told off a lot about something whilst the other is going through an angelic phase, that kind of thing. So when my son was 2 and a half and my daughter 7 months I felt like I favoured her because I only ever said "ooh come here darling time for your feed" or "sweet little baby girl!" etc etc whilst the son it was "put that down please" "PUT THAT DOWN PLEASE" "WILL YOU CHUFFING WELL PUT THE JEFFING THING DOWN NOOOOOOWWWWWW!" etc whereas now he's 4 and a bit and such a great lad and she's 2 and a bit and its "put that down please" "PUT THAT DOWN PLEASE" "WILL YOU CHUFFING WELL PUT THE JEFFING THING DOWN NOOOOOOWWWWWW!"

etc...

MateyMooo · 07/02/2012 21:27

my parents favoured our brother over any of the 5 girls. in pecking order i was last. I hated it.

but then my mum was crap and my dad was working 14 hour shifts to feed us all.

Whenever i'm with kids (CM or DD) i always say good things about them 'that was good colouring', ' i like your thinking', wow you ran so fast your legs were a blur.... so that they feel good about thier individual talents.

TroublesomeEx · 07/02/2012 21:37

I don't have a favourite.

I have "infinity love" (heard that somewhere once and quite liked it Wink) for both of them.

They are both completely different characters, they have different strengths and different weaknesses, different interests and different talents. I love different things about them and I love doing different things with them. But I love them equally.

My mum openly favoured my brother. I tried challenging her about it once but she just looked rather puzzled that I was raising it. Of course he was her favourite, why wouldn't he be! They're estranged now.

pointythings · 07/02/2012 21:40

Nope, no favourites. There are times when one is more difficult than the other, but that doesn't mean I love either of them less than the other. When it comes to my DDs I am a bottomless pile of mushy cuddles and I love them to bits. They are both fabulous even when they are pecking at each other like stressed out hens and I have to tell them off. They are adorable even when they are driving me mad during the workday morning routine and I actually want to sell them on eBay. That's just how it is.

skybluepearl · 07/02/2012 21:41

All my kids are very different - some easier than others but I love them all the same amount

troisgarcons · 07/02/2012 21:42

I do.

And I don't care.

but it doesnt mean I love any the less - just prefer the company of one.

WillCrossThatBridge · 07/02/2012 21:43

Aw, I love them both an awful lot but at the moment my DD - nearly 4 - is more fun as she chatters away and sings and plays and it's very amusing, entertaining and lovely to hear how her mind works and how she's learning about the world. I love the stage she is at now.

DS is just coming up to 18 months and beginning to get a few words and is totally lovely also...he's cuddly and affectionate and very sweet too...but DD is more entertaining to spend time with at the moment.

However, as someone said above about the baby vs. toddler/preschooler thing - I certainly spend a lot more time telling DD off than DS and I don't think I favour DD though I did worry at the start that I over-compensated with lavishing attention on her so she wouldn't feel left out when her little brother arrived.

So there's my tuppence!
I was one of 4 and I never felt my parents had a favourite.

WillCrossThatBridge · 07/02/2012 21:45

Ooh - trois , you have just said what I meant to say but much more succinctly!

BadRoly · 07/02/2012 21:48

Each of my children is special to me in his/her own right. They are all very different and each has times when they are harder to like. But none of them is a favourite. I love each of them for who they are and I cannot say that I love any one of them more or less than the others.

HoneyandHaycorns · 07/02/2012 21:49

I have a favourite! But I only have 1 dc so it's allowed! Grin

My dad has a favourite grandchild (my dd) and shows it. It's painfully obvious, and I wish he wouldn't do it. :(

mrsjay · 07/02/2012 21:49

I dont think i have a fave dd1 thinks its her but she is full of herself at the moment , MY mil did my bil was the fave , MY aunt has a favoured child and favours her grandchildren , But she sees it as the daughter needs more help than the sons who all have children, which i find strange , My cousins 3 brothers noticed and coment all the time on it ,

altinkum · 07/02/2012 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.