To do the same thing again?

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

Its that time of year again.

Its Billie's birthday tomorrow. She would be 20.
TWENTY.
She would be grown up and at uni and working and have a boyfriend that I could terrify.

But she is not is she? She is dead and she will never get past 14.
So I can let off her ballons with her little brothers. One who talks about her all the time and two who never met her.
I can buy a cake with butterflies on it and we can eat it and I will think about her.
I can expect my family not to send a card or call me.
Then the day after I can start the countdown till her anniversary in April.

So please, please help stop this happening to someone else's child or loved one.

I know I do this twice a year and its getting boring but PLEASE
sign up to give blood
sign up to give bone marrow
give a little money to Clic or TCT or anyone you want to.

Please do something. Telling others what they can do is just as useful and giving a pint of blood because I know not all of us can.

This year is particularly important because last time I went to give blood (December) they told me I couldnt give any for at least 12 months.

I cant help, I have let her down so I need people to help give those pints that I cant.

I have to get through tomorrow. I really dont want to.

Happy birthday Billie. I found out today that I have to wait until baby is 6 months before I can give blood and that I have to have stoped breast feeding before I can give BM but after reading your story MrsDeVere my dp is doing both in two weeks time.. So sorry for you loss!

Happy Birthday Billie! Thinking of you today MrsDevere.

Happy Birthday Billie. Your life and the wonderful example shown by your Mum has made a difference to so many people.

Thinking of you MrsDV.

{{hugs}}

Happy birthday Billie, shining star.

Happy Birthday to Billie - i too do not need to relook at your photos - her beautiful face is etched into my mind.

Be kind to yourself to day MrsDV. You deserve it.

Happy birthday, Billie. Mrs DV, your threads about your daughter are so beautifully written that one cannot but see what an amzing girl Billie was. Be kind to yourself.

happy birthday beautiful billie, so very , very much loved, it is plain to see.

I am on organ donar list, registered with nolan trust years ago, will donate blood once my anemia ia under control .

Lighting a candle for Billie tonight.

Love to you MrsD.

You used to be on netmums didn't you?

I remember your posts about billie and her pictures. She was stunning. I wanted to start giving blood, I haven't been able to due to four close together pregnancies but I will check out where I can now. x

Happy Birthday Billie - I hope you are looking down at your mum and saying 'silly sod, of course you didn't let me down - look at all the people who now donate because of you'

MrsDV, strength and love to you and your family x

Hello everyone.
Thank you for your lovely posts.
I have been and had my nails done and a spray tan courtesy of my SIL who needed a model for her trainee at her salon.

So that was nice but very difficult because it is just the sort of thing you would do with your daughter on her birthday.

My sister has managed to put a message on my FB and I know that must have been hard for her and I am glad she did.

Stay yes I was but I am afraid I couldnt cope with it any longer and anyway the banned me. Perfect exuse to never go back to that passive agressive hell hole (but thanks for remembering Bille )

I also spoke to my SIL about doing something for Billie's 21st next year.
Her salon and her family's hairdressing salon next door are perfect for recruiting BM and blood donors from the BME community. A hell of a lot of young men get their hair done and they are the group most needed afaik.

So that is something to think about over the next few months.

Yes I went much the same way nice to see an old face though! I wouldn't forget billie. I remember reading an article of Leona's where she mentioned billie too. I hope you are doing okay today.

Thank you Stay.

I did pop back and forth before my ban but it really was not good for me. I always felt angry and upset after being on there. Horrible.

I can get cross on here sometimes but nothing like the overiding culture on that awful bloody site.

Much better here

Happy BilleDay, MrsDeVere. Thinking of you all. xxx

It is much better on here, been years since I have been on nm! I just checked for blood centres near me, there is one at the local hospital so will book an appointment.

Mrs DV - Your message 6 months ago reminded me that I needed to start giving blood again which I did. I was a regular donor who'd got out of the habit whilst having my babies. In light of this message I've just booked another appointment for 3 weeks time.

Your daughter was beautiful.

I can't donate blood or bone marrow sadly, but I can and will give money.

Said a prayer for you and your gorgeous daughter x

Hi MrsDeVere

Happy 20th Birthday to your beautiful, clever, funny and brave Billie.

Also Happy Giving Birth Day to you MrsDeVere. You are a very clever lady for giving birth to such a wonderful girl.

I hope your butterfly cake is delicious and your balloons fly high in the sky. She would be so proud of you for how much support you give to other bereaved mothers and how you are recruiting for blood and BM donors.

With much love and and a big unMN squeeze
CM

Thinking of you MrsDeVere, Happy Birthday to Billie. I have never forgotten her stunning photo on your profile and think of her every time I see a post by you (even on the bungalow from hell). You and she had and have immense courage.

I have got the Anthony Nolan Trust to send out the spit test to register so that's going back to them this weekend to do what I can.

Just wanted to say happy birthday billie.

My thoughts are with you and your family MrsDV.

MrsDeVere, you haven't let her down in any way at all, I can't imagine your lovely Billie would want you to think that way. The very fact you're still functioning makes you a better person than I could ever be, you are brave, resolute and to be admired.

Much love and hope to all who have suffered the loss of a child.

My thoughts are with you today.

I,for one,will never forget Billie.

She was beautiful and clever and brave,and her face is etched in my memory.

I'm afraid I'm on too much medication to give blood or bone marrow,
but I will post on FB and DP says he will give blood in my place.

Happy birthday Billie, hope youre partying with the angels. Thinking of you mrsDV