To hate Emma's Diary

[Garliccheesechips]

It's SO BLOODY INSIPID

I must hunt out my old diary. It came in that pack you get (got. Don't know if you still do). I kept a diary during my first pregnancy. I will hunt it out and post the best bits for your entertainment

You will think less of me, but I hope you'll get over it

LeBOF- it is indeed

Oh, I shall look forward to that, Hecate

But she doesn't call him a cunt

Sorry, no, I put that in.

Did you think that in the new diary, she calls Nick a cunt?

Where does he get flowers from before she has even woken up? She's a rotten stinking liar. Troll.

STROPPY COW!!!!! He has one night out with the lads but because she is pg he should spend his time velcroed to her?! I wouldnt have bought her flowers, breakfast in bed or made dinner. I would have told her to grow the fuck up!

I think Nick is definitely shagging Rana.

LeBOF, petrol station job on his way home where he had to buy mints to hide the smell of the ciggies he was smoking :o

Blimey, Is she still going? DD is 19 in a few months so Emma must have pushed out quite a few by now. Like the posters above I devoured it - we had no internet so you couldn't google things. Just as well in my case, I read everything I could get my hands on.

She gets a baby-friendly haircut. A baby-friendly haircut.
FFS.

Thats true Best, I forget that back when I was having DS and then DD there was no internet at all! You got the info the docs and MW gave you and what was in books.

If you were unsure about something you stayed unsure until you saw the MW again!

Indeed in 1999 Emma was a proper person. Her husband was annoying too, but I can't even remember why know. I think it was because he made dinner when she came home tired, as if it was a really big gesture.

I seem to remember alot of foot rubs, as if that was somehow the final word on being a supportive partner in pg.

There werent many rows in the original one, they were just to sickly sweet. I defy anyone to not have a blazing row when trying to put the buggy together for the first time!

All my pregnancy info came from Emma and Miriam Stoppard.

I took a dislike to Miriam when her book said I should only be eating healthy food. The woman obviously never had morning sickness.

I had Miriam too, her "fashion" advice was brilliantly rubbish!

Oh yes, the fucking foot rubs. I dimly recall them too. Do people really like other people touching their feet? Weirdos.

Not me LeBOF. My ex offered me a foot rub once and I said he could do it only if he wanted me to kick him the face! Its a reflex thing, you touch my foot and I kick out!

Actually, if you think too hard about the ubiquitous foot rubs, and her painting her toenails as a form of pleasure, you start imagining Emma and Nick being really into soapy foot wanks. Or is that just me?

I've got it! Should I post it here or start a thread?

As I find myself getting heavier and more uncomfortable, Nick and I are starting to appreciate the virtues of a soapy foot wank as a way of making love and reconnecting with each other after a busy day...

This stuff practically writes itself.

Oh stick with us, Hec. Let's hear it!

ok. hang on. will start.

entry 1
Found out I'm pregnant. I went to the doctor, who estimated 9 weeks. I've stopped smoking. I had some bleeding so I went to the early diagnostic unit for a scan. Terrified doesn't cover it! We saw the baby's heartbeat, so everything's ok. Thank God.
I'm 6 weeks, not 9. Bummer.

Weird how I just KNEW I was pregnant.

Now I feel sick and tired all the time and if X forces another rich tea bickie on me, I shall be forced to kill him.

Then I signed it

entry 2
Still exhausted, still sick, still being force fed rich tea biscuits.

Tiny may be small in stature but s/he makes his/her presence felt alright! I have to go back for another scan next week, but I haven't bled again, so I'm sure everything's ok.

wk 8 Had my scan, everything's ok. Can't believe how much Tiny has grown. Wish I didn't feel so angry all the time. Hormones I guess.

wk9 I feel sick all the time. Have to remind myself this is for the baby. On a good note - we've un out of rich tea biscuits! wayhay. Went for my booking in visit. My GP will have the pleasure of caring for me cos I HATE hospitals.

wk10 Itching, nausea, foul temper, bleeding gums, cramps, aching legs, tears...wouldn't change it for the world.

wk 11 - WANT MY BABY NOW!
wk 12 Can't wait to see my family. mum & dad coming down in a couple of weeks
wk 13-14 I've had some worries, like the baby is not growing or isn't there any more. Very silly. Must be my hormones. S (that's my neice, she was just born then) is lovely. Hope my bab is like her (better!)
wk 15-16 good job I have a great husband, I'm testing him to the limit with my moodiness. If it's not tears, it's shouting. Good thing he loves me! Rang mum in tears for no good reason. Frightened the life out of her!

wk17-18 had a scan. showed me 16wks +1day with baby 14.4cm. That's one big baby! I do hope he or she doesn't end up a 12 pounder! The cravings everyone tells me about appear to have passed me by - unless you count milk and oranges I've no strong desires food wise. I certainly don't want to bite into a sponge full of dirty bathwater like mum and sis say they did! YUCK!

god, I was BORING!!

It gets worse.