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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't someone just be odd?

113 replies

lesley33 · 10/10/2011 13:27

I read on this forum and hear other mums, assuming that if someone is a bit different they must have SN or MH problems. Sometimes people are just a bit odd or eccentric. So AIBU to think that some people can be odd or eccentric and not have SN or MH issues?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 13:29

Nope.... not anymore Grin ... European ruling, everything must be labelled dont ya know! Wink

mumblechum1 · 10/10/2011 13:30

YANBU.

I think these days there is a tendency to want to put labels on "different" behaviour. Sometimes these are helpful if there is a genuine problem, and labelling it helps to get that person some support, but some people just are a bit odd and rather lovely for it.

nightshade · 10/10/2011 13:31

totally agree, sometimes it is good to be just plain odd.

worraliberty · 10/10/2011 13:32

YANBU

Sometimes I play a little game with myself and try to predict how many posts will appear on a thread before someone suggests SN of some kind because someone has said their child isn't the same as most of the others in their class.

Hammy02 · 10/10/2011 13:33

YANBU. Especially when it comes to children. Why can't some just be a bit odd without people having to label them? I went through a phase when I was about 6 when I was a real loner, happily sat knitting on my own in the playground. I just grew out of it. No-one made a big day of it and no labelling necessary.

Peachy · 10/10/2011 13:34

Is this supposed to be a thread about a thread?

Some people are odd, some have SN / MH issues, some people are odd AND have MH / Sn issues. Quite a lot of people with diagnosed SN / MH issues get laughed at and bullied for being odd therefore the discussions will meet. Terms like freak (seen here in last few days) get applied quite heavily to people with low visibility Sn and will as a result cause hackles to rise.

AMumInScotland · 10/10/2011 13:34

YANBU - some people are just more noticeably "individual" than others, and don't need a label. But on here its usually that people don't want to appear judgemental about "odd" behaviour, by saying "Of course they must have SN/MH issues so I'm not going to be the least bit negative about the things they did". Or they want to criticise the fact that someone else was negative about abehaviour by saying "But they may have SN/MH issues so you aren't allowed to say it was an odd thing to do"

cantspel · 10/10/2011 13:35

How many times do you read that so and so has "traits" or a bit ocd ect.

labels for the sake of it rahter than just embrasing the fact that everyone is different.

squeakytoy · 10/10/2011 13:36

It is also the same as wondering if a child cant just be "naughty" anymore....

It is rare to see anyone admit that their child is simply naughty... and even when they do, you get someone else suggesting that they are wrong, and should investigate it further......

Peachy · 10/10/2011 13:38

worra whata re we supposed to do for flying fucks sakke? say oh yes I know that child might have a diagnosable sn but heck, let them face a life of bullying and potential MH disorders, I must not say it in case someone on MN doesn't want me to

get real!

Nobody on here can diagnose SN: we can however signpost to relevant resources such as the triad of imapirments from which a parent can make a decision, an informed one, about whether further help is warranted.

It was a work talk on ASD that led to us getting ds1 diagnosed, then ds3, possibly now ds4.

On several occasions I have red flagged possible links and the child has gone on to receive a formal dx and proper help: like fuck will I stop doing that because some sniggering twit on a forum thinks it's funny to count posts!.

worraliberty · 10/10/2011 13:41

You're free to do whatever you want Peachy though you might want to untwist your knickers and read what the thread is actually about.

Peachy · 10/10/2011 13:42

I read it

And I am pretty sure that I know what thread led to this

And who said I even wear kncikers anyway

loveglove · 10/10/2011 13:42

YANBU, I often think that MN too often jumps at the chance to cry "MH ISSUES!!!"

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 10/10/2011 13:44

Meh.

worraliberty · 10/10/2011 13:48

I have no idea what thread led to this and nor do I care.

No-one's asking you to stop doing your thing if you think it helps others, that's great.

However, the OP is pointing out that MN (or a lot of the posters on it) do tend to jump rather quickly to SN possibilities for the slightest of reasons at times.

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons · 10/10/2011 13:51

Meh

LaWeasel · 10/10/2011 13:53

I think of it this way:

You can't have a special need if you don't have any special needs.

So ifor eg, if you took someboyd like my RL friend who is obsessive in her interests and not always very good at reading social situations. Those are very very mild symptoms from the mild end of the autistic spectrum, but she is very clearly "just a bit odd" and not autistic, because those two things are not problems for her. It didn't affect her ability to go to school or get around or get a job so it can't be a SN.

I think the posters on MN understand this very well. I've never seen advice about considering possible SN where it wasn't appropriate.

Dawndonna · 10/10/2011 13:55

Interestingly, those that whine, 'oh, he's just a little odd', and choose to ignore the bullying, the obsessive behaviours, etc. Are the ones with the least understanding, it's their way or the highway.
So, you sat and knitted in the playground, and weren't bullied for it, aren't you the lucky one.
Little sympathy for this type of thread, try living my life for a while before coming up with asinine comments.

grumpypants · 10/10/2011 13:58

Actually, I am trying to think of examples of 'odd' undiagnosed people, and whether I embrace them. I suspect that most people considered odd have fairly negative experiences of life. In fact, I don't think many people would use 'odd' as a positive adjective, so on balance I think most people different enought to be described that way may well fit criterion for a 'label'

GooseyLoosey · 10/10/2011 13:59

Doesn't it really depend on whether your oddness creates a need or not?

For example - I would generally be classed as a bit odd. I find people a bit of a mystery. However, I have no additional needs as a result of my oddness, its just that dinner invitations are a bit thin on the ground.

Dd might also be classed as a bit odd. She finds it very difficult to process things that are said to her. This may not be a special need in the sense of a diagnoseable condition, but she does need things to be repeated to her so her oddness creates a need.

Think I may be rambling a bit here!

WoeIsMeAgain · 10/10/2011 14:01

I often wonder that OP

everyone must have a label and be stuck in a box. There are so many labels on here its bewildering Grin

passive aggressive
sn
pnd
controlling
abusive
narcassistic (sp)
obsessive

phew, an amateur psychologist's/hypercondriac's paradise!

Woe betide you though if you have an opinion that doesnt tow the party line!!!!!

ncjust4this · 10/10/2011 14:01

I do think if I was growing up now I would have been dianosed with something or other, prob boarderline asd (my school reports often used to mention me living in my own world, crap socially etc). I have worked hard to cover my natural traits and only those really in the know would say anything now. To the world I AM just a bit odd. I secretly quite like being a bit odd......

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 10/10/2011 14:02

Meh

Bugsy2 · 10/10/2011 14:03

Eccentricity seems to be out of fashion. I'm sure people used to be called "great British eccentrics" but nowadays it seems necessary to diagnose anyone not quite conforming to the norm. Not really sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Dawndonna · 10/10/2011 14:04

The reason it's 'woe betide those not towing the party line' may well be because we've had to fight so much prejudice to get the help required for our partners and/or kids. As I said, try living in someone else's shoes.