Can't someone just be odd?

[lesley33]

I read on this forum and hear other mums, assuming that if someone is a bit different they must have SN or MH problems. Sometimes people are just a bit odd or eccentric. So AIBU to think that some people can be odd or eccentric and not have SN or MH issues?

YABU. I know labelling can go over the top but I'm glad that there's more effort made nowadays to actually understand people rather than just saying they're "odd." "Odd" is a horrible term, it marks someone out as not fitting in, a weirdo. It's more understanding to say that the person has difficulty understanding others' intentions or has a disability of some kind. At least then you're not just dismissing their needs, you're acknowledging them which helps to go some way towards accommodating their needs and helping them to be accepted. A child who sits on their own isn't "odd" - it might be a child who likes solitude, or a child who can't hear very well, or a child with social problems. Saying their odd just throws them into a big group of people who can safely be ignored IMO.

Saying they're odd

Yep - my god-daughter is spoilt and demanding and has a bad attitude and her teachers think so as well.

Her Mum has spent bloody months trying to get her 'diagnosed' with something rather than having a serious sit down word with her about her back chat and bullying of other children. and .

nc that's great if you are happy, I study with the lady who runs the adult siagnostic clinic (and there are not many), she does not see people who are just a bit odd, she sees adults in absolute crisis either in their marriage, finances, employment or people who have been referred by MH crisis services.

The criteria for diagnosing disorders is not just a bit odd. it is established (DSM criteria usually, ICD at times) and usually (well technically always but someone on ehre always knows someone who got their dx on the back of a toffo wrapper after a phone call) performed with proper validated tests.

'Odd' will not cut it, odd just refers to what we see, not what is going on underneath.

Or what I emant to say

Meh.

I remember once having a chat with my uncle who is a psychologist. He said that most people were 'on the spectrum' but that the fashion now is to label any and everything - "it's not his/our fault that he hits/kicks/spits/thropttles other children in the class - he has a condition".

This isn't a post about another thread. I was thinking more about friends/acquaintances who as children (and as adults), were in my younger days just seen as a bit eccentric or different, but would maybe now be judged by other parents as having SN or MH issues. None of them needed extra support or were bullied btw. I just think sometimes we can be too quick to label people, when in the past English eccentrics were to some degree celebrated.

1. One friend for example, who has always been a bit scatty and ever since she chose what to wear every day has always dressed slightly odd. Nothing the matter with each individual item, but together they never quite go. I used to assume that she liked dressing oddly, until a conversation revealed that she though the things she wore went together. She always had friends, a professional job and is now a mum, so she doesn't need "help" or "support" though.

1. Another friend who is eccentric. Its hard to explain exactly how. But her view of the world and how she comes across is just slightly off key. And like anyone truly eccentric, I think she would be surprised to hear hrself described in this way.

And I see this with children now. Children who are just a bit different. Its different if DC need extra support, but sometimes I think we should acknowledge that some DC and adults are just a bit different or even odd and that that is fine.

Dawndonna - there is a world of difference between someone who is diagnosed with something & just being a bit eccentric / odd. I've sweated buckets with DS who is autistic spectrum - but it doesn't mean I can't understand this thread. You are missing the point. Being "a bit odd" doesn't have to mean you actually do have something wrong with you - it could just mean you are quirky & different to everyone else. Think Luna in Harry Potter.

YANBU - I agree someone indeed " can just be odd " however if others regard them as "odd" then that's also reasonable, yes?

Quite agree....

Well I;d like to meet our Uncle. I am in the research pahse of my MA in Autism so I reckon I know my stuff too.

Of course everyone is on teh spectrum, that's in it's nature as the spectrum refers to the behaviours of everybody, a continuum. Your Uncle however should be well aware that whilet there will always be people trying to get themselves an excuse (has it not ever been thus in one way or another?) only certain people can be diagnosed, and those people are those covered by the DSM or ICD criteria

DSM

here

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying someone is a bit odd or doesn't fit in. Why does everyone need to fit in with the mainstream? I think there should be space in our society for those who don't easily fit in to live their life happily.

Bugsy of course

Plenty of people are just odd; pretty much everyone in their own ways

But when people talk about everyone seeking labels yadayadaya-

meh

Does a diagnosis of boarderline cases always help?

As a kid I would repeat "pardon" under my breath for hours to make up for the times I burped before I could speak and so didn't say pardon. If I stepped on a pavement crack with one foot I had to step on one with the other foot to be fair. It freaked me out if one set of tyres in the car ran ocer white lines more than the other side. I could never understand other kids. All of this stuff I sucessfully hid from my parents and teachers. I have developed a reasonably "normal" life (although I am still a bit crap socially)

I know I have/had issues but would an asd diagnosis helped or hindered me? Honestly I dont know. It would have explained a lot and made me feel more comfortable in my own skin. On the other hand I would have had a label and may not have been as encouraged to lead a "normal" life and develop the coping skills I have.

No one is ever naughty, odd, eccentric or a bit down in the dumps any more. They have to have some official-sounding label.

Ha, go figure. I WOULD have fitted the dsm criteria.

I can see why some people might consider the description of odd as being a negative one. I don't though. I have always been attracted to odd people as friends. I think I admire people that are themselves even if they don't quite fit in.

YANBU. People are sometimes too quick to label. I posted on here yesterday about all the nasty looks and tuts I got from other women when my dd was having a major tantrum whilst out shopping. Some posters reactions were 'are you stressed' and 'you sound depressed'. Err no just posting about a fairly routine incident and the effect it had on me at the time.

Sometimes people post about a particular shitty time they're going through ie dc's not sleeping, issues with dh and I'm always amazed to see some people advising them to go to their gp immediately for a prescription for anti-depressants. The assumption is that if you dare to moan or say you're having a crap time you must be depressed and need medical attention. It's almost as if you're not allowed to admit that sometimes having dc (or whatever it id causing you stress) is difficult and if you do you must need to see your HV or doctor straightaway

Meh

I'm going to have to ask - what does "meh" mean?

Oh and I am not being dismissive. I honestly do wonder if a proper dx would have helped me or hindered me.

I am

Meh is a teenage , in the mumsnet sense...

Meh is a virtual shrug of the shoulders. It means the poster either isn't bothered by the topic or thinks the topic isn't worth discussing, i suppose it can be contempt for the OP too. Problem is, by only posting Meh - i've no idea which it is....

Aha, kind of a MN "whatever". Thank you, I'd have been guessing forever.