Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children getting dirty, wet, messy

123 replies

emma0134 · 03/10/2011 00:06

Question is if I am sane or mad.

When I was growing up my mum was nuts on use looking perfect, hair had to be combed, clothing tidy and clean. If we got a smug on our clothes she would not be pleased, rubbing at the stain and going on and on.

Now I am the mum, twin girls aged seven. Although I dress them nicely and cleanly they are free, no encouraged not to worry whether their clothes get dirty, wet, muddy or even torn.

Mum as I expect goes mad at me, yesterday (Saturday) went Blackpool and the girls ended up not only going into the sea with all their clothes on then throwing sand at each other but then walking down the prom in their socks ( what did people think).

Friend was over when they ended up covering themselves in paint and she found this very odd i allow them to do this. Today a neighbour came to report them splashing themselves in rain puddles in the field.

In fact I get pleasure seeing them come in the bottom of their white socks dirty, their clothes a mess, their hair all over the place, sometimes I even don't comb their hair at weekends. So am I normal or mad?

OP posts:
MotherMucca · 03/10/2011 00:07

You are normal. A grubby child is (usually) a happy child.

ddubsgirl · 03/10/2011 00:12

yep dirty kid is a happy kid!with 4 boys they come back head to toe in mud lol!
my neice was never allowed to get dirty and would freak out if she did cos she knew she would get into trouble :(
to me it comes out in the wash!kids & clothes lol

babycham42 · 03/10/2011 00:14

Normal.

I keep the stain remover companies in business with all my kids antics.

They start the day clean and tidy.Beyond that if a choice is to be made between keeping clothes clean or having fun there is no contest!

FlamingoBingo · 03/10/2011 00:15

You are right, the cleanfreaks are wrong Grin

Birdsgottafly · 03/10/2011 00:18

"sometimes I even don't comb their hair at weekends"
That's going a bit far, it that's true.

YANBU, i used to let mine play in puddles, much to many people's disgust.

Just make sure that you are not letting them go to far the other way, as a reaction to your childhood.

sunnydelight · 03/10/2011 00:19

A grubby child is a happy child - within reason. Mud, sand, water, no problem. I actually think letting themselves deliberately trash their clothes by covering themselves in paint is taking it too far though . At some point you might buy them something you would like them to take care of and they won't even understand the concept!

Salmotrutta · 03/10/2011 00:20

More power to your elbow OP - let them get dirty.
One of my brothers ate a worm once ...

FlamingoBingo · 03/10/2011 00:20

Birds - 'that's going a bit far, if that's true'? Are you joking? Confused

What happens if you don't comb children's hair? Oh, hang on, I know the answer to that one because I often don't comb mine - NOTHING! The world doesn't come to an end, birds down fall down dead out of trees, your house doesn't burn down...what on earth is wrong with not combing kids' hair sometimes? (or lots)

And what is 'too far the other way'?

OP - you would like 'The Idle Parent' by Tom Hodgkinson Smile Birds - you would not Grin

WhoresHairKnickers · 03/10/2011 00:20

A doctor once said 'A dirty child is a healthy child.' My brother never got dirty as a baby/toddler and as it turned out, had he been born now, he'd be dx'd with Asbergers...

Kids get dirty, my Dd got her lovely blue summery dress covered in gravy and then chocolate sauce today...

FlamingoBingo · 03/10/2011 00:21

Sunny - that's not true either. My kids know the concept of which things are special and which are not, and change their clothes (or just take them off!) to do things that they think might spoil their clothes.

ddubsgirl · 03/10/2011 00:25

a friend of mine has OCD and would spray her floors & carpets 3 times a day with disefectant and her dd use to fall asleep/lay down on the floor and she ended up with chemical burns on her skin :( she also use to wash her dog every day and ended up with a poorly dog and a huge bollocking from the vet.
i do agree with it going to far,time & place and all that kids have best clothes and ones they can go and get grubby in.

aviatrix · 03/10/2011 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadameOvary · 03/10/2011 00:33

I go for days without combing DD's hairomg shoot me now as she absolutely hates it. I am however lucky as it is poker straight and cut in a bob. I often stroke her hair and tease out any potential knots that way.

solidgoldbrass · 03/10/2011 00:37

I'm another one who was always yelled at to stay clean and tidy as a kid and now lets DS roll in muddy puddles if he wants to. And I would just like to say that it's possibly even more important to allow and even encourage DDs to have fun and get messy and not give a toss about their clothes/hair, because teaching them that fun is more important than what you look like, when they are young, will do them good later and help them resist peer pressure to percieve themselves as things to be looked at rather than human beings doing what they want.

FlamingoBingo · 03/10/2011 00:38

Mine don't like having their hair brushed. They don't go to school, so there's less of an issue, but when they need it brushed for dance lessons or what-have-you, we spray it with water and detangling spray and spend a nice long time having a loving Mum/daughter hair-brushing session Smile

FlamingoBingo · 03/10/2011 00:39

Yes, yes, yes SGB! You are spot on!

Original poster
emma0134 · 03/10/2011 01:12

Oh what a relief I was starting to think I was odd

What happens if I do not brush the girls hair, I overhear things like oh twins how cute but look at them their so not looked after. Their hair is quit long but can go 3 or 4 days without brushing or combing before knots start being a problem, anyone know how to stop knots or deal with them so I could extend this period please let me know

As for taking care of things. We recently went to a wedding. they wore yellow dresses and white ankle lace socks, but once the formalities were over their shoes were off and it was ojk to get cream and dirt and to wipe their hands on their dresses.

OP posts:
Kick2down · 03/10/2011 01:40

How old are your DC?

I let mine roll in the mud, too, and running into the sea with their clothes on would almost be a given. However, I would want them to return from a wedding with their nice clothes looking nice-ish. (Honest spilling is fine, but wiping chocolate onto wedding togs is not.) That's just teaching them to value nice clothes, I think. And I don't put them in nice clothes unless the occasion really calls for it.

They get filthy, wet and scruffy, all well and good, but then at the end of the day it's into the bath to scrub it all off. And really, how long does it take to brush out their hair? You could plait their hair to keep it 'tidy' longer, but we're only talking minutes to brush it.

MrsBloomingTroll · 03/10/2011 04:32

Detangler spray when their hair is wet.

Following on from recent thread about scruffs, my 3yo DD has inherited my tendencies there....any dirt will be attracted to her clothes like a magnet and even if I do brush her hair, five seconds later it looks a right mess, and she won't keep it in bunches/ponytail. I like to let her dress in mismatching bright clothes for added effect. Which MIL probably hates Grin

I agree with the grubby child = happy child. I love the days when I pick up DD from Pre-School and her clothes are filthy, as it shows me how much fun she's had.

If I know she's going there or going to do something messy, I either dress her appropriately in cheap clothes or strip her off.

Parietal · 03/10/2011 05:52

My DD can get as messy as she likes if she is in ordinary clothes, but Irene were in a pretty dress for a wedding, I'd expect her to try to keep it neat.

Parietal · 03/10/2011 05:53

Irene => she were

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/10/2011 06:21

My DS isn't particularly keen on getting messy for the sake of it. Accidental mud splats during a country walk are fine. 'Rolling in puddles' never been his style. Very happy child.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 03/10/2011 07:11

My kids are always mucky. They start the day clean, washed and hair tidy but usually end up with grass stains, dinner down their front etc etc. I once saw a friends dd erupt into screaming fit after falling over in a puddle, she hadn't hurt herself but was upset at what her mother would say, which as it turns out she was quite right to be scared. I vowed them I would never do that to my kids.

blackeyedsusan · 03/10/2011 07:23

yabu to let them throw sand and walk down the prom with no shoes (sharp objects)

but in the sea...no, mucky no, yanbu

Iggly · 03/10/2011 07:36

YANBU. I get quite stressed when people hover over their kids eating for example ready to wipe or pick up every crumb. Or as soon a a speck of anything touches them, it's wiped away instantaneously.

DS is 2 and still is a messy eater - I'm teaching him how to eat nicely but don't like wiping down the table, him and the floor after every bite Grin