Children getting dirty, wet, messy

[emma0134]

Question is if I am sane or mad.

When I was growing up my mum was nuts on use looking perfect, hair had to be combed, clothing tidy and clean. If we got a smug on our clothes she would not be pleased, rubbing at the stain and going on and on.

Now I am the mum, twin girls aged seven. Although I dress them nicely and cleanly they are free, no encouraged not to worry whether their clothes get dirty, wet, muddy or even torn.

Mum as I expect goes mad at me, yesterday (Saturday) went Blackpool and the girls ended up not only going into the sea with all their clothes on then throwing sand at each other but then walking down the prom in their socks ( what did people think).

Friend was over when they ended up covering themselves in paint and she found this very odd i allow them to do this. Today a neighbour came to report them splashing themselves in rain puddles in the field.

In fact I get pleasure seeing them come in the bottom of their white socks dirty, their clothes a mess, their hair all over the place, sometimes I even don't comb their hair at weekends. So am I normal or mad?

[Meglet]

Yanbu. I let mine get muddy in the garden. They can be out there for ages mixing it up and filling buckets.

[Meglet]

And you don't want to know how messy DD can get at the table. It's considered civilised if her food isn't in her hair.

[bochead]

Mucky for fun - yes.

Unhygenic - no. Don't comb their hair at weekends and the odd nit they picked up on Friday afternoon at school will have had a chance to really settle
in. You should be checking daily or yeeuk!

We have a dog and a veg patch. Old/Primark clothes for the park. One decent outfit each season for weddings/visiting elderly relatives/church etc. Play clothes I don't fuss about. nice clothes an effort should be made to keep them nice (he'll have to keep an interview suit nice when he goes for a job)

Learning when it's socially appropriate to be a scruff and when it most certainly is not. I've interviewed teens for junior rules who didn't have a clue how to present themselves properly for a job interview - it's not fair if a young person is not taught this by their parents.

Hygiene, hands and face washed before meals. hands washed after handling animals, playing in the park etc.

My lad always has a pair of crocs/wellies for the beach/park etc.

Scrub down in the bath after a day of messy play. It's a question of balance.

[CheerfulYank]

Our own childhood does funny things to us. :)

My mother was depressed when I was young and did not care that I was smelly or looked odd, so it's hard for me to let go with DS sometimes. I like him to be clean and wearing matching clothes, but at the same time I know he is a child and needs to jump in puddles and climb trees, etc. It's tough sometimes but I bite my tongue.

YANBU though I think I'd encourage them to keep their wedding clothes tidy.

[borderslass]

My girls where always dirty only time DS was dirty was mealtimes [still can't eat without making a mess]. Nothing wrong with dirt.

[DownbytheRiverside]

Mine got dirty and messy, but we also used common sense.
So yes, paint all you like but not on the cream sofa with your favourite jumper on. We had scruffy clothes for walks, wellies and walking boots. When they were little they had art T shirts, progressed to aprons.
Just like in school, being creative is fantastic but move the reading books before you get out the clay.

[MissMississippi]

Letting kids ruin and tear clothes is unreasonale. as one PP said, they won't know how to care for clothes. My DS gets to paint, jump in muddy puddles, whatever seems fun! he just has an apron for painting and a splashsuit for puddles (that's to keep him dry when it's cold), he can get as muddy as he wants in the summer.

[Pissfarterleech]

Mud magnets here. I have never been interested in childrens clothes. Mine wear cheap stuff that they can trash. Providing the clothes start the day clean, are activity and climate appropriate, that's as far as my interest goes.

I cannot comprehend people who waste spend money on No added overpriced Sugar or Boden.
No one cares or notices what your kids look like unless either end of extremes.

[Chandon]

yabu.

this whole dirty child is a happy child is just a new fashion in the middle classes to show to the world what "fun and relaxed" parents they are.

Kids can have fun without getting too dirty!

Why go into the see with your clothes on? Just take them off!

I think kids need to learn a bit of respect for belongings, including clothes.

And why let them walk on their socks? Mine go on bare feet or else in crocs.

I think you are unnecessarily making a point about your style of parenting, and the girls could have had as much fun swimming in their swimsuits or underwear or naked, and then throwing sand, and then walking barefoot or with shoes on.

[HecateGoddessOfTheNight]

Making a child scared to get a bit of mud on them is mean. Children are supposed to get filthy!

When a child looks back, should they remember coming in from play, muddy and exhausted, or should they remember being anxious because they got a spot on their dress?

To never allow children to get dirty is to take away an important part of childhood, imo.

[4madboys]

not unreasonable at all!

four boys here (and a baby girl) and yes they get dirty and messy and muddy, my mil doesnt like it at all, my answer is the clothes will go in the washing machine and the boys can go in the bath, simples

[BastardDog]

I agree up to a point.

My 11 yo ds recently came home plastered in mud, himself and his bike. I did object. I objected as he was wearing his brand new trainers and his best trousers. I objected as he has play clothes, water proofs and wellies, but he hadn't bothered to wear them. I objected because he came home (late), dumped his filthy bike in the shed, threw his mud caked new trainers at the back of his wardrobe and thought I was being unreasonable when I had a go at him about the state of his clothes.

Had he been wearing his play clothes I wouldn't have minded.

[Pissfarterleech]

That is where my Activity Appropriate Rule comes in BastardDog

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

normal.

i saw a mum at the outdoor play area at Eureka! shouting at her young (2ish) ds for getting his new trainers dirty. I was - why the name of arse did she let him wear them there?

[Pissfarterleech]

Aren't trainers designed to get dirty? Is that not their whole purpose for being?

[Pagwatch]

I agree to an extent.
If the kids are playing and get filthy that is no problem. It is great in fact.
And if a small child has an issue with hairbrushing or like to take their shoes off all the time etc etc, fine.

But ' my kids are filthy all the time because I am just so right on and child centric' is just as ridiculous as the clean freak opposites.

Brushing hair and teeth every morning is hardly onerous. Getting filthy whilst having a blast is great. Just leaving you kids filthy all the time is gratuitous.

[Pissfarterleech]

I insist mine have clean clothes, brushed hair and brushed teeth at the start of the day.

[sarahtigh]

the only thing I think is unreasoanble is letting them wipe hands covered in cream on the dresses for wedding difficult to remove bad manners and there would have been loads of serviettes to give a wipe, at 7 they should know better than use clothes as towels

Getting dirty is ok and to be encouraged, but not putting paint deliberately on clothes furniture or walls, you are doing fine just don't go too far in opposite direction

[cory]

I have found a difference from my own childhood when (as I remember it through rose-tinted glasses) children were allowed to have a life.

When it came to my children's time, so many friends of dd's were never allowed to do anything messy and never seemed to want it either because they didn't want to spoil their pretty dress- and they didn't own any garments that didn't fall in this category.

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

My mum is a bit like this but she grew up during the war when clothing was expensive and had to be looked after and mended. Wash day was an epic with no automatic washing machines and certainly no stain removers. As a child we had "best" clothes and "play" clothes and "best" clothes had to be looked after. Clothing when I was a child was comparitively expensive, no tesco or primark so I guess in some cases these attitiudes are understandable.
I'm on the fence here, I have no problems with my DC's getting wet and dirty but want some degree of respect towards belongings and understanding that they don't magically get clean.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

I think I must be the only one who doesn;t have "Play clothes" for DS2

It doesn't amatter if I dress DS2 just as we are leaving he is a agnet to dirt, mud, spills etc. I gave up worrying about him getting dirty and now refuse to put him in white other than his school shirt as it never stays white He has been at nursery 2 weeks and everyone of his shirts is ruined with paint, mud, glue you name it its on there. I refuse to buy more as these fit him perfectly and the school know they are new.

DS1 on the other hand NEVER got dirty and would scream if his hands got sticky - he was dx with aspergers this year - maybe there is a link there.

[4madboys]

i think hygeine and being 'clean and tidy' etc can be separate, my boys have a wash, clean teeth etc every morning and always wash hands before eating etc.

but they still get dirty inbetween times, particularly the younger 3 boys.

oh and re clean clothes everyday, yes clean school uniform everyday, BUT the clothes they wear after school or at the weekends dont have to be spotlessly clean, if they have worn them the day before and they are just a bit grubby, then they can wear them the next day (not if we are going out anywhere special, but for playing in the park/garden etc) as they are just going to get more dirty. i have more than enough washing as it is without putting everything in the wash for the tiniest mark!

and i have to say i agree with the no wiping hands on clothes if they are sticky with food etc, its not hard to get a serviette, or in our house a muslin cloth etc.

[Fo0ffyShmooffer]

Agree with Pagwatch.

[MrsVoltar]

I don't mind DS getting muddy/dirty, clothes can be washed. But also make sure he is clean in the morning.

[aldiwhore]

phew OP YANBU at all.

Yesterday my youngest was naked except for socks and playing with the hose pipe on the trampoline which was covered with leaves, so he was exceedingly grubby... a living autumnal collage.

I won't let them then sit around the house festering, its usually a case of straight in the bath... where they become living bubble art.

I don't mind dirt.

They do have a hose down every night though, and I make sure they start the day clean (but not always brushed, not their hair anyway) if they lasted the day as clean as they started, I'd worry.