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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is DH about driving?

89 replies

Voidka · 18/09/2011 13:17

I am not a driver so I dont know if IABU.

It was DDs birthday soon and we planned to do a family trip to Chester Zoo to see the dinosaur exhibition as a birthday treat instead of a party.

We were going to go last weekend, then DH cancelled because he wanted to go away with friends for the weekend.

It was rearranged for this weekend, then DH cancelled again because yesterday he wanted to go to the football and today he is at cricket (he plays in a team).

Next weekend DS is away at Cub camp and we are all going to the theatre.

Now the following weekend we have saturday free but Sunday we are driving 2 hours to go to visit my parents, and DH doesnt want to do another 2 hours drive to Chester the day before because it will be too tiring.

The weekend after that we cant go because he is going to Spain with work, then the exhibition finishes.

AIBU to want to go the only day we have free, even if this means DH driving for quite a bit over that weekend?

OP posts:
Mightimama · 18/09/2011 13:20

YANBU but i think your DH is.

He has to make time for his family, even if that means cancelling a cricket match or going away with his friends.

KAZAMM · 18/09/2011 13:21

I drive and I would be fine with 2 hours one day and 2 hours the next. I also wouldn't have cancelled the first two times this trip was arranged though especially if it was for my DC's birthday treat.

Rosa · 18/09/2011 13:21

YANBU - If dh can manage the footy and the cricket rather than taking his ds to see something fun then he can drive both days.

whackamole · 18/09/2011 13:21

YANBU, he has made the decision to do everything that he wants to do and won't put himself out for his daughters birthday! I am the only driver in the family and wouldn't relish the idea of a long weekend of driving, but then I wouldn't keep putting people off so I could do what I wanted.

Alternatively, you could take the bus and sod him. I think there is one that runs directly there.

3littlefrogs · 18/09/2011 13:21

YANBU - he is. Unless he has some sort of illness or health condition that makes it impossible for him to drive more than 2 hours in 2 days.

I drive for at least 2 hours daily for work, and frequently much more than that at weekends - 4 x 4 hour trips over saturday and sunday would not be unusual for me.

Why don't you drive? (Just wondering, because, for me, it was the one thing that made my life 10 times easier when my children were younger.)

Meow75isknittinglikemad · 18/09/2011 13:24

It's his child's birthday, and this trip is an alternative to a party (great idea, btw). Have you suggested that he's being a selfish arse that the things he wants to do REPEATEDLY take priority over one trip to a zoo for his child?!?!

Oh, and learn to drive!!! Then leave him to it, while you go off and make terrific memories with the family. He won't remember one game of golf over 42,000 others in 10, 15, 20 years time, but the visit to the zoo and Dino exhibition for your DD might be something she remembers for years.

I STILL remember my 5th birthday party, and I'll be 36 next month.

Gissabreak · 18/09/2011 13:25

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SauvignonBlanche · 18/09/2011 13:26

He is being an arse!

I suggest you learn to drive, if possible.

WoodBetweenTheWorlds · 18/09/2011 13:27

He is BU - and I hate driving long(ish) distances.

Having said that, I also hate the fact that my DP doesn't drive, and so all the driving falls to me.

Yama · 18/09/2011 13:28

Agree with Gissabreak.

Gissabreak · 18/09/2011 13:28

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Message withdrawn

Mitmoo · 18/09/2011 13:29

OP He doesn't find his mates too tiring. I would not be a happy bunny.

3littlefrogs · 18/09/2011 13:29

If he is like this about driving you and your child, you really do need to learn to drive asap, or get to grips with local public transport and organise things for yourself. I would hate to be reliant on someone who appears to be rather selfish. IMO.

Yama · 18/09/2011 13:30

Didn't notice, and I love a Freudian cock up.

ChippingIn · 18/09/2011 13:31

YANBU

He is being a complete wanker to prioritise his social life over his daughters birthday treat 2 weekends in a row. Git.

If I was making a suggestion it would be to tell him to grow the fuck up.

diddl · 18/09/2011 13:31

I think if he doesn´t want to do the driving it´s up to him.

But the problem is that he´s letting other things take priority.

Can your parents come to you or you visit them a different time?

Pan · 18/09/2011 13:31

2 hrs drive is nothing at all.

bottom line is that he just doesn't want to prioritse this. he is being a lazy selfish arsehole.

Next!

WidowWadman · 18/09/2011 13:33

Is that two hours each way or in total?

Gissabreak · 18/09/2011 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

3littlefrogs · 18/09/2011 13:35

Does he not want to visit your parents, by any chance???

notherdaynotherdollar · 18/09/2011 13:35

i get the impression he isnt keen on going to the zoo

TidyDancer · 18/09/2011 13:35

He is NBU about the driving if he really does find it that tiring, some people do!

However, YANBU in light of the fact that the weekend in question is the only one free, largely due to his social activities.

Yama · 18/09/2011 13:36
Grin
AnyFucker · 18/09/2011 13:36

What a selfish, horrible father he sounds

he can't find a window in his social life to enable his child's birthday treat ?

I suggest you learn to drive and send this bloke back along to the single life he so clearly prioritises above his family

This isn't about a couple of hours driving

ColdSancerre · 18/09/2011 13:36

YANBU two hours one day and two hours the next day is not a lot of driving. I suspect he just doesn't want to go given how hard he has tried to get out of it so far.