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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much

117 replies

Angel786 · 05/09/2011 18:13

You earn (if working). I know it would be rude in person but strangers on t'internet seems fine. Am just being nosy after seeing someone say they felt poor when her DH earns 45k p/a. Doesn't sound like poor to me.

OP posts:
Talker2010 · 05/09/2011 18:15

poverty is relative

hairylights · 05/09/2011 18:15

£45k isn't poor not by any stretch.

worraliberty · 05/09/2011 18:17

YABU

The reason being, some people can (and often do) talk complete bollocks. I have no idea why but a lot of people just like to tell lies.

Worraliberty
Multi millionairre

silverfrog · 05/09/2011 18:18

this will not end well.

the answer is: it all depends on what your outgoings are. if you earn 45k, but have a stonking mortgage as you live in a shoebox in a highly desirable part of the country because of: proximity to work, schools, whatever, then yes, maybe it is not enough.

we were very strapped for cash at one point. dh earns well. but we were having to pay 50k/year for dd1's school (SN school, the ony one she could attend and learn at), as wel as 2 children at university. we did not have much change, and indeed did wish that dh earned a good deal more at that time (whilst also realising we were lucky to be in theposition we were in).

it's all relative.

CamperFan · 05/09/2011 18:24

What do you mean "if working"? Is there another way of earning?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/09/2011 18:24

Not that much right now Grin

The thing is that what someone else can manage on, or live comfortably on - is irrelevant.

And it's all relative anyway. I have lived on £800 a month. I have lived on £5k + a month and everything inbetween. When I had lots of money, I spent lots. I didn't feel wealthy and didn't have pots of cash, I thought. When we were at our poorest, feeding ourselves on £25 a week, I looked back at the days when I'd spend £250 a week on groceries & household and think I was being thrifty and want to kick myself! Grin You just have to cut your coat according to your cloth and not concern yourself with what others get and how they live/should live, feel/should feel.

And it also depends on your expenses. If you've got a £2k per month mortgage, or pay £500 a month rent, for example.

There just aren't absolutes.

TheVermiciousKnid · 05/09/2011 18:29

'What do you mean "if working"? Is there another way of earning?'

Yep, I'm on a PhD scholarship (~£13500), so technically not working. :o

CamperFan · 05/09/2011 18:33

I might have to get me one of them PhD thingies then ...

purplepidjin · 05/09/2011 18:36

About 8.5k a year. And yes, I pay a (small, thanks for investing in property, Mum) mortgage plus bills. And eat proper food.

Luckily I now have DP in my life who provides the fun stuff like decent meat and new clothes Hmm

Kayano · 05/09/2011 18:37

17.5k
Goes further in the north though.

I ofc will earn less after this baby comes

attheendoftheday · 05/09/2011 19:12

I think 45k is a lot.

I earn 24.5k, dp earns 16k and I think we're quite comfortable. But we aren't paying for childcare. We don't need to worry about day to day costs, have 4k savings, but can't afford holidays or other big expenses (well, we managed a weekend camping).

But I'd agree it's a matter of perspective.

PigfartsPigfartsHereICome · 05/09/2011 19:29

45k is a huge amount to me, and something I don't think I'll ever acheive!

It is all reletive though, I'm from Cornwall which is a very low income place, most work is seasonal. I used to work 96 hours a week during the summer and half terms and be out of work the rest of the year. Coming from that background I see what I currently earn as HUGE- I earn more than the rest of my family put together, my parents, and two siblings working fulltime.

My earnings go further as I don't have dependants, but on the other hand don't go as far as some peoples as I live in Richmond with very, very high rent, bills, and council tax.

I'm a nanny so my income is dependant on two other people's income, and their outgoings. If school fees rise a lot, or one of them loses their job or whatever, maybe they'll get rid of me. My income isn't guarenteed!

Oh and to actually answer the question- I earn about £30k but I get a meal a day when working, sometimes two as the parents like me to eat with the children to teach them.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 05/09/2011 19:33

It is all relative.

DH earns a v.good salary but we still have to be careful if we want to have anything much left at the end of the month.

Cocoflower · 05/09/2011 19:39

Pigs

Oh Richmond is lovely. I had no idea nannies got paid so well- wish I had done that pre -children

Birdsgottafly · 05/09/2011 19:41

Just under 30k, i could earn more, but that amount goes quite far 'up North', so choose a very easy work/life balance. No childcare costs, low overheads.

I share some expenses with DP, camping/holidays etc, he earns a similar amount, we don't live together.

Having to save for things makes you appreciate them more, imo.

myalias · 05/09/2011 19:43

How much do you earn Angel?

mrsravelstein · 05/09/2011 19:43

agreed it's all relative... my sis in law earns about 15k a year and lives in a very nice 3 bed house, can afford lots of nice things, because she lives in the back of beyond. my brother and his wife have a household income of about 35k and are totally skint because they live in an expensive commuter place just outside London.

my household income is just under 6 figures, and whilst we're certainly not poor, again because of the area we live in, most of our monthly income goes on housing.

PigfartsPigfartsHereICome · 05/09/2011 19:54

Coco- I know, to me that is such a high wage and I feel very fortunate to get it to do a job I love! I do work longer hours than some- currently doing 55-60 hours, but I live 5 mins up the road.

Its an annoying thing- I love living in the Richmond area, but it costs so much to live here. I could have a similar standard of living and accommodation on a much lesser wage somewhere in the back of beyond, but no-one there can afford a nanny. I have to go where the work is!

Cocoflower · 05/09/2011 19:58

Richmond park is beautiful

That is a huge issue- a majority jobs in London and people think "wow such great wages" but not really as the cost of living is so high

DH spends £3.5k alone just getting to work :(

Original poster
Angel786 · 05/09/2011 20:06

myalias. I'm blessed and pre mat leave I was earning around 4k per mth but I've also experienced hard times as a child living in a womens shelter and eating food donated by supermarkets as it was expiring.

I was just curious but like people say it's all relative. As long as I have enough to have a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes for my baby I'm happy.

OP posts:
hairylights · 05/09/2011 20:09

If you've got a £2k a month mortgage then you've chosen that and have no right to claim poverty. Sell up and down scale if it's a struggle.

mrsravelstein · 05/09/2011 20:14

a 2k a month mortgage is about 400k isn't it? where i lived in very outer not at all fancy london until a few months ago, that would just about buy you a small 3 bed terraced house

Cocoflower · 05/09/2011 20:18

Its not always as simple as that Hairy for people who need to be in expensive areas for work

(No I dont have a mortgage that big though thankfully)

PigfartsPigfartsHereICome · 05/09/2011 20:20

Angel- thats what I mean by relative, depending where you are and what you need to spend on that roof over your head, food and clothing. Two people living in different areas need to earn very different amounts to have what you describe there. Person A may earn 50k but struggle with a high mortgage, person B may earn £10k but live in a different area and not struggle as much.

CaptainNancy · 05/09/2011 20:31

Perhaps he has 2 families to pay for? He wouldn't be loaded then...

45k isn't much in the SE/London, esp if his partner stays at home...